Dating other people...be careful what you wish for

A little while back I (37m) told my wife (34f) I wanted to sleep with other women. For a very short time I considered having an affair but quickly realized that was the wrong way to go. So I just brought it up to her one day instead. Initially she recoiled a bit but soon warmed to the idea. We decided to each make a tinder account with a full disclosure rule. As I expected, she found a date first and met him for coffee one morning (as far as I know there was no touching or anything). I was surprised at how badly I felt by the whole thing - heartbreak, dispair, anger...all the things one would expect to feel towards a spouse messing with someone else. So I brought that up to her as well. I explained every which way that it took me by surprise and that I was unexpectedly and decidedly not ok with it. Ill drop the whole thing on my end, I said, and told her I wanted her to do the same....which is where things went astray...

"Just change the way you think about it" was the basic message she gave back to me. And shes not going to stop talking/seeing him. Ive told her countless times over the last couple weeks Im not cool with this but she doesnt seem to even care, let alone like she has any plans whatsoever to call it off - I couldnt bear to read through very much at all other than checking out the dates/times of messages, but they text each other every day, throughout the whole day, good mornings and goodnights....the whole bit. I told her to keep it all to herself - fuck disclosure, I dont even want to know. I dont even want to touch her either....idk if theyre fucking yet but Im completely turned off (and honestly quite a bit grossed out) by her now when I think about any of this. Pretty tough man.

So Im half assing my tinder bc Im not interested in sitting on the sidelines, ya know...but Im not really into it...id rather have my wife back...but it might be too late...

Now look, I brought this on myself I know. Im not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. Im here only to remind people to be careful what you wish for, you just may get it.

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 02:20PM

A little while back I (37m) told my wife (34f) I wanted to sleep with other women. For a very short time I considered having an affair but quickly realized that was the wrong way to go. So I just brought it up to her one day instead. Initially she recoiled a bit but soon warmed to the idea. We decided to each make a tinder account with a full disclosure rule. As I expected, she found a date first and met him for coffee one morning (as far as I know there was no touching or anything). I was surprised at how badly I felt by the whole thing - heartbreak, dispair, anger...all the things one would expect to feel towards a spouse messing with someone else. So I brought that up to her as well. I explained every which way that it took me by surprise and that I was unexpectedly and decidedly not ok with it. Ill drop the whole thing on my end, I said, and told her I wanted her to do the same....which is where things went astray..."Just change the way you think about it" was the basic message she gave back to me. And shes not going to stop talking/seeing him. Ive told her countless times over the last couple weeks Im not cool with this but she doesnt seem to even care, let alone like she has any plans whatsoever to call it off - I couldnt bear to read through very much at all other than checking out the dates/times of messages, but they text each other every day, throughout the whole day, good mornings and goodnights....the whole bit. I told her to keep it all to herself - fuck disclosure, I dont even want to know. I dont even want to touch her either....idk if theyre fucking yet but Im completely turned off (and honestly quite a bit grossed out) by her now when I think about any of this. Pretty tough man.So Im half assing my tinder bc Im not interested in sitting on the sidelines, ya know...but Im not really into it...id rather have my wife back...but it might be too late...Now look, I brought this on myself I know. Im not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. Im here only to remind people to be careful what you wish for, you just may get it.