Husband says his happiness is dependent on my happiness.. I feel trapped.

My husband and I got married young. We’ve been working on making it work for years. He has a demanding job that requires him to be away from the home half of the week. When he comes back, he is too tired to do much. I can see that he is struggling.

I’ve tried to hold it together for the kids(we have two), but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. Husband barely has the mental capacity to play with the kids, let alone work on our relationship. It’s not his fault. He started a business and it’s been going great. But he has little energy to do much else.

It’s been eight years of playing the supporting role and staying for the good of the family.

But now, I’m starting to feel hopeless and suicidal. I tried to end our marriage to focus on coparenting, but he says that everything else is pointless if we can’t be a single family unit. He says that his happiness is dependent on my happiness level of being a family together.

I am so unhappy in our relationship. But I’m more worried about my husband’s health. I think if our marriage truly ended, my husband would drink himself to death, or his health would go spiraling down. Every time we have a problem, his first reaction is to hit the bottle. If we are normal, and I act happy, he won’t.

I don’t know what I am supposed to do anymore. All I want to do is just cry and never get out of bed. I guess I’m posting here so I can get a new perspective. What am I supposed to do?

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 04:04PM

My husband and I got married young. We’ve been working on making it work for years. He has a demanding job that requires him to be away from the home half of the week. When he comes back, he is too tired to do much. I can see that he is struggling.I’ve tried to hold it together for the kids(we have two), but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. Husband barely has the mental capacity to play with the kids, let alone work on our relationship. It’s not his fault. He started a business and it’s been going great. But he has little energy to do much else.It’s been eight years of playing the supporting role and staying for the good of the family.But now, I’m starting to feel hopeless and suicidal. I tried to end our marriage to focus on coparenting, but he says that everything else is pointless if we can’t be a single family unit. He says that his happiness is dependent on my happiness level of being a family together.I am so unhappy in our relationship. But I’m more worried about my husband’s health. I think if our marriage truly ended, my husband would drink himself to death, or his health would go spiraling down. Every time we have a problem, his first reaction is to hit the bottle. If we are normal, and I act happy, he won’t.I don’t know what I am supposed to do anymore. All I want to do is just cry and never get out of bed. I guess I’m posting here so I can get a new perspective. What am I supposed to do?