Will I regret Marrying Her?

Hey Its a long story but ill try to make it short as possible when i was born my marriage was fixed by my grandparents on my moms side with my mom's brother's daughter who is 1 year younger than me and happens to be my first cousin. Growing up everyone from my mom side just fed us that we were going to get married when we got older. I moved to Canada at the age of 10. I dated people here in Canada and she grew up thinking that we were going to get married. i went back every 2 years and it was always awkward between us because family on mom side and my mom would still joke around that we will get married. Now i did like her and told her that and she told me she liked me we started talking on the phone but the thing is the older i got and the more we talked i learned that we were 2 different people she grew up in a very strict household she has never been out the house alone or even with her friends she understands English but cant speak it, the things i just listed can still be overlooked and we both can adjust after, but the thing that scares me is cousin marriages. we are first cousins which is bad already but on my side my dad and mom were third or second cousins and on her side her grandparents and her parents are first cousins which is a recipe for a disaster which could ruin her and my life since she wants children. I'm turning 21 this June and she just turned 20 and my mom and her family are hell bent over getting us married and have said that i have 2 years. Now here's my question Is it worth it? i can look over us being different, being first cousins and if the doctors tell me that we wont have healthy children than i wont have them because i don't want the kids to suffer because of us i can look over all that but i feel like i'm sacrificing too much and to make it even worse I don't think I'm in love with her shes beautiful but i'm not even attracted to her. Is it worth it? Please give me any advice how to get out of this situation or what to do or just your take on it.

PS. I just want to say its not my fault that i'm in this situation but also its not the girls fault either we both were told growing up that we would be getting married especially her and this situation is one of the reasons i have depression and this girl has told me she loves me when i have hated my self and she has been there for me in my lows so she genuinely loves me and i genuinely care about her and don't want to hurt her in any way

also my dad and my family on dads side will be cool with whatever decision i take they weren't happy when they found out that my mom wanted me to get married to my cousin but they know that i love my mom a lot so they just thought that it was my decision so they are neutral on this.

Submitted May 12, 2019 at 06:11AM

Hey Its a long story but ill try to make it short as possible when i was born my marriage was fixed by my grandparents on my moms side with my mom's brother's daughter who is 1 year younger than me and happens to be my first cousin. Growing up everyone from my mom side just fed us that we were going to get married when we got older. I moved to Canada at the age of 10. I dated people here in Canada and she grew up thinking that we were going to get married. i went back every 2 years and it was always awkward between us because family on mom side and my mom would still joke around that we will get married. Now i did like her and told her that and she told me she liked me we started talking on the phone but the thing is the older i got and the more we talked i learned that we were 2 different people she grew up in a very strict household she has never been out the house alone or even with her friends she understands English but cant speak it, the things i just listed can still be overlooked and we both can adjust after, but the thing that scares me is cousin marriages. we are first cousins which is bad already but on my side my dad and mom were third or second cousins and on her side her grandparents and her parents are first cousins which is a recipe for a disaster which could ruin her and my life since she wants children. I'm turning 21 this June and she just turned 20 and my mom and her family are hell bent over getting us married and have said that i have 2 years. Now here's my question Is it worth it? i can look over us being different, being first cousins and if the doctors tell me that we wont have healthy children than i wont have them because i don't want the kids to suffer because of us i can look over all that but i feel like i'm sacrificing too much and to make it even worse I don't think I'm in love with her shes beautiful but i'm not even attracted to her. Is it worth it? Please give me any advice how to get out of this situation or what to do or just your take on it.PS. I just want to say its not my fault that i'm in this situation but also its not the girls fault either we both were told growing up that we would be getting married especially her and this situation is one of the reasons i have depression and this girl has told me she loves me when i have hated my self and she has been there for me in my lows so she genuinely loves me and i genuinely care about her and don't want to hurt her in any wayalso my dad and my family on dads side will be cool with whatever decision i take they weren't happy when they found out that my mom wanted me to get married to my cousin but they know that i love my mom a lot so they just thought that it was my decision so they are neutral on this.