Wife wishes for seperation with no specific reason given for what I have done

My wife (37F) and I (42M) have been married for 12 years and it has been rough for awhile, but over the past seven or so weeks it has gone critical. She started therapy sessions (childhood drama) and began to come off of her depression medications while also sleeping on the couch. I believed that the couch sleeping and silence was a direct result of dealing with issues from therapy (I had read somewhere to expect this).

Also during this time, she continued to push me away when I was at home. I also started working festivals every other weekend or so out of state, which she had previously encouraged and supported. She would belittle me for failed dreams and how something needed to get done and had not thus far.

We have also had money issues when it comes to overspending and saving for a future. One day I checked the account and we were lacking cash for rent after just a few months ago having a surplus. The deficit equaled about $2,000 over two months. I approached her cautiously with our bank statement and said that I did not know what to do or how to approach her about it and I told her about the spending issue. She became upset that i had approached her about this of all things and she demanded a seperation.

Come to find out, she had discussed this with friends, the pastor that married us, her therapist (which, that is what they are for), and a divorce attorney, but NEVER CONFRONTED ME ABOUT THE ISSUE OR ISSUES.

Obviously there are communication issues. I have since cancelled all of my work out of town to work on this, but she demands a seperation to 'work on herself'. I have bounced between wanting it as well to respect her wishes to wanting couples therapy and remaining at home. Everything I have read says separations almost always lead to divorce. She says that she wants to just date me again, but I feel that we will ultimately end of fighting on dates without learning to first communicate. I am just not sure how to even proceed with this or if I can send flowers for Mother's Day. Please advise on how I should proceed from here.

Submitted May 11, 2019 at 11:50AM

My wife (37F) and I (42M) have been married for 12 years and it has been rough for awhile, but over the past seven or so weeks it has gone critical. She started therapy sessions (childhood drama) and began to come off of her depression medications while also sleeping on the couch. I believed that the couch sleeping and silence was a direct result of dealing with issues from therapy (I had read somewhere to expect this).Also during this time, she continued to push me away when I was at home. I also started working festivals every other weekend or so out of state, which she had previously encouraged and supported. She would belittle me for failed dreams and how something needed to get done and had not thus far.We have also had money issues when it comes to overspending and saving for a future. One day I checked the account and we were lacking cash for rent after just a few months ago having a surplus. The deficit equaled about $2,000 over two months. I approached her cautiously with our bank statement and said that I did not know what to do or how to approach her about it and I told her about the spending issue. She became upset that i had approached her about this of all things and she demanded a seperation.Come to find out, she had discussed this with friends, the pastor that married us, her therapist (which, that is what they are for), and a divorce attorney, but NEVER CONFRONTED ME ABOUT THE ISSUE OR ISSUES.Obviously there are communication issues. I have since cancelled all of my work out of town to work on this, but she demands a seperation to 'work on herself'. I have bounced between wanting it as well to respect her wishes to wanting couples therapy and remaining at home. Everything I have read says separations almost always lead to divorce. She says that she wants to just date me again, but I feel that we will ultimately end of fighting on dates without learning to first communicate. I am just not sure how to even proceed with this or if I can send flowers for Mother's Day. Please advise on how I should proceed from here.