My (39F) ex (39M) sent me a text to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.

The backstory is that in January my then-partner of almost 20 years broke up with me very suddenly. He was in love with someone he works with. In December we had been house hunting and planning our future together and I thought we were really happy, so it was very sudden and traumatic. We have two kids together. It's been incredibly difficult to work out things like custody arrangments and financial arrangements, and we're not agreeing on those things, but with the help of counselling and mediation we are both managing to compromise. I feel a huge amount of animosity towards him. He's been a major dick in many ways, and I wish I could never see him again. Obviously that's impossible because we are still co-parents, so I do communicate with him regularly.

Almost 4 months after the breakup, I'm managing quite well. Everything other than my love-life is great.

Today is Mother's Day in Australia, and my ex sent me a text which reads:

Happy Mother's Day. I hope you're having a great day. You're a great mum and the kids are lucky to have you.

Reading this made me feel awful. I know that might sound strange, because it seems like a pleasant text, but I don't want to hear this from him. He is the person who told me he didn't love me for the last three years, and the only reason he said he did (often) was because he felt guilty. He is the person who has meant that I can't see my kids every day anymore. I am tempted to reply "I think you're a terrible person and I don't care what you think of me." Or "Why did you have to insert yourself in to an otherwise gorgeous day?" But I won't, I'm not going to reply.

I'm curious if anyone has insight in to why he felt the need to send this to me? I find it hard to believe that it's as simple as he's just trying to be nice or even try to turn our relationship in to something resembling a friendship. I mean, he is currently being incredibly unfair and stubborn in regards to our finances, and so if he wanted a better relationship with me I think he could start with reconsidering some of his actions around that.

​

TLDR: I don't understand what my ex's motivation is for sending me a seemingly pleasant text on mother's day.



Submitted May 12, 2019 at 05:57AM

The backstory is that in January my then-partner of almost 20 years broke up with me very suddenly. He was in love with someone he works with. In December we had been house hunting and planning our future together and I thought we were really happy, so it was very sudden and traumatic. We have two kids together. It's been incredibly difficult to work out things like custody arrangments and financial arrangements, and we're not agreeing on those things, but with the help of counselling and mediation we are both managing to compromise. I feel a huge amount of animosity towards him. He's been a major dick in many ways, and I wish I could never see him again. Obviously that's impossible because we are still co-parents, so I do communicate with him regularly.Almost 4 months after the breakup, I'm managing quite well. Everything other than my love-life is great.Today is Mother's Day in Australia, and my ex sent me a text which reads:Happy Mother's Day. I hope you're having a great day. You're a great mum and the kids are lucky to have you.Reading this made me feel awful. I know that might sound strange, because it seems like a pleasant text, but I don't want to hear this from him. He is the person who told me he didn't love me for the last three years, and the only reason he said he did (often) was because he felt guilty. He is the person who has meant that I can't see my kids every day anymore. I am tempted to reply "I think you're a terrible person and I don't care what you think of me." Or "Why did you have to insert yourself in to an otherwise gorgeous day?" But I won't, I'm not going to reply.I'm curious if anyone has insight in to why he felt the need to send this to me? I find it hard to believe that it's as simple as he's just trying to be nice or even try to turn our relationship in to something resembling a friendship. I mean, he is currently being incredibly unfair and stubborn in regards to our finances, and so if he wanted a better relationship with me I think he could start with reconsidering some of his actions around that.​TLDR: I don't understand what my ex's motivation is for sending me a seemingly pleasant text on mother's day.
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