I Fell in Love with my BFF, but They Love Someone Else

Hey Redditors,

This may be a bit of a sad one; but please feel free to share your experiences if you have any similar ones.

​

This January/last December, I met and became best friends with this guy. Instant connection, similar family backgrounds, struggles, worries, hobbies, etc. When we first started talking I knew I had a crush but my family assured me that it was all about proximity and shared trauma (sort of like "hero worship"? ) and so I pushed the feelings aside. Maintained our friendship and it was amazing. So amazing. I had never been more comfortable or happy with anyone else before and I was ecstatic just to have him in my life. That is, until I came to the *late* realization that all these complicated feelings I was having for him were, according to research and a trusted group of girl friends, LOVE (romantic and not platonic as I had initially thought).

But around the time I finally understood my feelings I learned that he was in love with another girl. That he was going away on a holiday to spend time with her and her family and that his family adored her. I was, to put it simply, heartbroken. But he is my best friend and he is such an incredible person so he deserved her and to be so happy (I'd never seen him happier than when he told me they were officially a couple and how much he loved spending time with her).

​

So I did the mature thing and said nothing, confided briefly in his sister (before he went on holiday and officially began dating the girl he loved) and decided to take some space and try to get back to just friends. To not ever divulge my feelings. And though it feels like the right decision (in the rational, selfless part of my mind) it still hurts like hell.

​

Clarification: We are still friends but we talk far less frequently (maybe once a week vs. everyday before). What's most important to me is that he is happy, even though that happiness isn't from me

​

r/unrequitedlove



Submitted May 12, 2019 at 12:34AM

Hey Redditors,This may be a bit of a sad one; but please feel free to share your experiences if you have any similar ones.​This January/last December, I met and became best friends with this guy. Instant connection, similar family backgrounds, struggles, worries, hobbies, etc. When we first started talking I knew I had a crush but my family assured me that it was all about proximity and shared trauma (sort of like "hero worship"? ) and so I pushed the feelings aside. Maintained our friendship and it was amazing. So amazing. I had never been more comfortable or happy with anyone else before and I was ecstatic just to have him in my life. That is, until I came to the *late* realization that all these complicated feelings I was having for him were, according to research and a trusted group of girl friends, LOVE (romantic and not platonic as I had initially thought).But around the time I finally understood my feelings I learned that he was in love with another girl. That he was going away on a holiday to spend time with her and her family and that his family adored her. I was, to put it simply, heartbroken. But he is my best friend and he is such an incredible person so he deserved her and to be so happy (I'd never seen him happier than when he told me they were officially a couple and how much he loved spending time with her).​So I did the mature thing and said nothing, confided briefly in his sister (before he went on holiday and officially began dating the girl he loved) and decided to take some space and try to get back to just friends. To not ever divulge my feelings. And though it feels like the right decision (in the rational, selfless part of my mind) it still hurts like hell.​Clarification: We are still friends but we talk far less frequently (maybe once a week vs. everyday before). What's most important to me is that he is happy, even though that happiness isn't from me​r/unrequitedlove
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more