I Fell in Love with my BFF, but They Love Someone Else

Hey Redditors,

This may be a bit of a sad one; but please feel free to share your experiences if you have any similar ones.

​

This January/last December, I met and became best friends with this guy. Instant connection, similar family backgrounds, struggles, worries, hobbies, etc. When we first started talking I knew I had a crush but my family assured me that it was all about proximity and shared trauma (sort of like "hero worship"? ) and so I pushed the feelings aside. Maintained our friendship and it was amazing. So amazing. I had never been more comfortable or happy with anyone else before and I was ecstatic just to have him in my life. That is, until I came to the *late* realization that all these complicated feelings I was having for him were, according to research and a trusted group of girl friends, LOVE (romantic and not platonic as I had initially thought).

But around the time I finally understood my feelings I learned that he was in love with another girl. That he was going away on a holiday to spend time with her and her family and that his family adored her. I was, to put it simply, heartbroken. But he is my best friend and he is such an incredible person so he deserved her and to be so happy (I'd never seen him happier than when he told me they were officially a couple and how much he loved spending time with her).

​

So I did the mature thing and said nothing, confided briefly in his sister (before he went on holiday and officially began dating the girl he loved) and decided to take some space and try to get back to just friends. To not ever divulge my feelings. And though it feels like the right decision (in the rational, selfless part of my mind) it still hurts like hell.

​

Clarification: We are still friends but we talk far less frequently (maybe once a week vs. everyday before). What's most important to me is that he is happy, even though that happiness isn't from me

​

r/unrequitedlove



Submitted May 12, 2019 at 12:34AM

Hey Redditors,This may be a bit of a sad one; but please feel free to share your experiences if you have any similar ones.​This January/last December, I met and became best friends with this guy. Instant connection, similar family backgrounds, struggles, worries, hobbies, etc. When we first started talking I knew I had a crush but my family assured me that it was all about proximity and shared trauma (sort of like "hero worship"? ) and so I pushed the feelings aside. Maintained our friendship and it was amazing. So amazing. I had never been more comfortable or happy with anyone else before and I was ecstatic just to have him in my life. That is, until I came to the *late* realization that all these complicated feelings I was having for him were, according to research and a trusted group of girl friends, LOVE (romantic and not platonic as I had initially thought).But around the time I finally understood my feelings I learned that he was in love with another girl. That he was going away on a holiday to spend time with her and her family and that his family adored her. I was, to put it simply, heartbroken. But he is my best friend and he is such an incredible person so he deserved her and to be so happy (I'd never seen him happier than when he told me they were officially a couple and how much he loved spending time with her).​So I did the mature thing and said nothing, confided briefly in his sister (before he went on holiday and officially began dating the girl he loved) and decided to take some space and try to get back to just friends. To not ever divulge my feelings. And though it feels like the right decision (in the rational, selfless part of my mind) it still hurts like hell.​Clarification: We are still friends but we talk far less frequently (maybe once a week vs. everyday before). What's most important to me is that he is happy, even though that happiness isn't from me​r/unrequitedlove
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