/u/EggChels on Need advice for a young and confused teen

Honesty is probably the best. Whether you're ace or not, it's clear that, for now, you aren't interested in more than hugging, and you shouldn't compromise on that. Talk to him about how you feel, and if he can't handle it, then he isn't worth your time. You're only 16, you have plenty of time to grow and learn and discover your truths.





April 11, 2019 at 06:31AM
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  1. EggChelsApril 11, 2019 at 11:08 AM

    Hi all, I’m a 16 year old girl in my first relationship and I’m starting to get nervous. I’ve considered that I might be ace in the past, but I’ve been worried to be open about it because I could grow out of it? I’d never been in a relationship until about a month ago when I was confessed to by a new-ish friend. I was apprehensive to say the least, but he’s a really great guy and one night I was thinking about it and decided why not, I’m being silly about all of this Asexual business and I’ll probably get over it.

    However, fast forward to now, I have absolutely no interest in anything beyond hugging. My friends ask if we have kissed yet or anything more and I realise that I have no desire to do that AT ALL. I’m thinking shit, maybe he wants to do that stuff? I confide in my friends about how I’m feeling and they’re nice about it, but they ask me if I’m even interested in dating this boy. I don’t know how to explain that I do, I love being with him and doing things together and (aside from the physical aspects of our relationship) I thought it really had been going well.

    It’s been bothering me a lot that I’m feeling like I never want anything further than hugging, and I feel almost like I’m leading him on in a way? I know that he does want more in a relationship and I’m starting to feel like maybe I won’t ever want those things. But at the same time, I’m just 16. I feel silly, like I’m going to grow out of this and it’s just a phase, I don’t know what to do.

    The more I think about it, the more I feel like all I want in a boyfriend is a sort of super-best-friend who I also get to hug with? I don’t know if this is just a dumb teenager thing or what, I’m just looking for some advice I suppose.

    Thanks for reading, sorry if this is in the wrong place.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 11, 2019 at 11:11 AM

    Just be honest with him, he might be fine with it.. and if in a few years you realize you're not asexual at all or that you're somewhere else on the ace spectrum that's fine too.

    It's totally fine to use asexuality as a stepping stone (much like how some people come out as bi before coming out as gay) Point is don't stay in a relationship you're not comfortable in and never let anyone force you into things you don't wanna do

    ReplyDelete

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