Low T breakup

• I’m looking for advice from men who have dealt with low T or women who have known a man with low T. Or men who have been close with a buddy with low T.
  

A man(42M) I loved broke up with me(36F) after several months together with no explanation. We didn’t talk for a few months, and then he told me it was because he was becoming very confused and it scared him and he thought I deserved better, so he left me. He was diagnosed with low T just after he left me, so then he felt he needed to deal with it on his own instead of putting me through a roller coaster.

So 3 months later he explained all of this and asked me to take him back, so I did with the condition that we slow down and communicate well. He broke up with me again a week later before we’d even seen each other.

3 months later(6 months after the initial breakup) he contacted me saying he got scared and asked to talk to me. He wanted to talk about taking him back, but I friend-zoned him. I told him that if we’re successful as friends for a while we can discuss dating again, but that I can’t just jump right back into a relationship with him, since I’ve been burned by that twice before. He said that would be just fine and that he wants me in his life, even just as friends.

He told me he hasn’t sought any treatment for his low T because he wasn’t dating (but he’s been online looking for 6 months, just no luck), so he didn’t need it. He also said he’s not sure he wants to mess with his body’s natural development, which I argued against. But I know it’s affected his sleep schedule/pattern, energy level, sex drive, self-esteem, he thinks he’s too old for me(only 6 years), he always comments about being an old man and about me being so young, etc.

I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who’s only offering me companionship with no sex life. He knows I have a high libido, which is part of why he left me: he felt he couldn’t keep up and make me happy(he never discussed any of this with me before breaking up with me, so I had no clue). I discussed treatment with him a couple times, but told him I won’t bother him about it again since I felt like a nag.

We’ve hung out as friends once over a week ago, and I had to gently remind him once that we’re just friends when he smacked my butt. He apologized and adjusted his behavior. Otherwise, it was a lovely evening and we spent several hours together. Since then he barely responds to my messages and he’s avoided hanging out with me each time I’ve offered(I’ve just suggested going to get a quick meal together). He usually doesn’t get back to me until late in the evening when it’s too late to go do anything and always has an excuse for why he was so busy. If I don’t initiate contact, I simply don’t hear from him for days. Although he’s told me that all winter while we were apart he’s done absolutely nothing(also sounds like he was depressed) and he only has a single friend he’s spends any time with, whom he has used as his excuse for not getting back to me each time.

I know it was hard for him to just be friends. It was hard for me, too. I want to be with him so much. I know he’s a mess, but I love this man and he’s a very good man. I’ve never been more compatible with anyone in my life. I researched low T and the common symptoms and affects match his previous behavior very well. I have my life in order and am very happy and I would love to share it with him, but I don’t want to do that until he gets himself figured out, or I believe it will just end the same way and break both our hearts again.

What can I do to help support him or to let him know I’m here for him?

What can I do to encourage him to interact with me? I don’t know how to rebuild rapport with him if he continues to avoid/ignore me.

Submitted April 10, 2019 at 11:14PM

I’m looking for advice from men who have dealt with low T or women who have known a man with low T. Or men who have been close with a buddy with low T.A man(42M) I loved broke up with me(36F) after several months together with no explanation. We didn’t talk for a few months, and then he told me it was because he was becoming very confused and it scared him and he thought I deserved better, so he left me. He was diagnosed with low T just after he left me, so then he felt he needed to deal with it on his own instead of putting me through a roller coaster.So 3 months later he explained all of this and asked me to take him back, so I did with the condition that we slow down and communicate well. He broke up with me again a week later before we’d even seen each other.3 months later(6 months after the initial breakup) he contacted me saying he got scared and asked to talk to me. He wanted to talk about taking him back, but I friend-zoned him. I told him that if we’re successful as friends for a while we can discuss dating again, but that I can’t just jump right back into a relationship with him, since I’ve been burned by that twice before. He said that would be just fine and that he wants me in his life, even just as friends.He told me he hasn’t sought any treatment for his low T because he wasn’t dating (but he’s been online looking for 6 months, just no luck), so he didn’t need it. He also said he’s not sure he wants to mess with his body’s natural development, which I argued against. But I know it’s affected his sleep schedule/pattern, energy level, sex drive, self-esteem, he thinks he’s too old for me(only 6 years), he always comments about being an old man and about me being so young, etc.I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who’s only offering me companionship with no sex life. He knows I have a high libido, which is part of why he left me: he felt he couldn’t keep up and make me happy(he never discussed any of this with me before breaking up with me, so I had no clue). I discussed treatment with him a couple times, but told him I won’t bother him about it again since I felt like a nag.We’ve hung out as friends once over a week ago, and I had to gently remind him once that we’re just friends when he smacked my butt. He apologized and adjusted his behavior. Otherwise, it was a lovely evening and we spent several hours together. Since then he barely responds to my messages and he’s avoided hanging out with me each time I’ve offered(I’ve just suggested going to get a quick meal together). He usually doesn’t get back to me until late in the evening when it’s too late to go do anything and always has an excuse for why he was so busy. If I don’t initiate contact, I simply don’t hear from him for days. Although he’s told me that all winter while we were apart he’s done absolutely nothing(also sounds like he was depressed) and he only has a single friend he’s spends any time with, whom he has used as his excuse for not getting back to me each time.I know it was hard for him to just be friends. It was hard for me, too. I want to be with him so much. I know he’s a mess, but I love this man and he’s a very good man. I’ve never been more compatible with anyone in my life. I researched low T and the common symptoms and affects match his previous behavior very well. I have my life in order and am very happy and I would love to share it with him, but I don’t want to do that until he gets himself figured out, or I believe it will just end the same way and break both our hearts again.What can I do to help support him or to let him know I’m here for him?What can I do to encourage him to interact with me? I don’t know how to rebuild rapport with him if he continues to avoid/ignore me.