Is it lack of interest or insecurity, or does it not matter?

Met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off pretty well. To share our dynamics briefly, we were texting pretty frequently every day after our first date. Our conversations showed that he was making a genuine effort to get to know me. I work about an hour away from where he lives during the week, and he would offer to come visit me. He was also very thoughtful and respectful on our dates (picked places that were convenient for me to get to even if far for him, chose activities he didn’t necessarily enjoy but knew I’d like, never tried to kiss me but did say he wanted to). TLDR - I thought we had a lot of potential.

We went on three dates over the course of three weeks (we were never physical), and then I had to go away for a two week trip. He made a subtle comment about how he wouldn’t see me for a long time. I made sure when I was leaving to still be pretty communicative to reassure him, but in the days leading up to my trip I could feel he was starting to pull away. He didn’t contact me except for on the first day of my trip, so when I got back I sent him a brief message just letting him know I was back and hope everything’s been good with him. His enthusiasm and frequency of texting has been way less. My question is - should I assume he’s still interested if he’s bothering to respond at all? I clearly showed I’m still interested in him by texting him when I returned - assuming he is still interested, why is he suddenly so detached (maybe a question for the guys)? My friends tell me he was probably feeling insecure about the trip, but I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing to put in effort or if he’s clearly showing me he’s moved on.

Thank you all :)



Submitted April 24, 2019 at 11:51PM

Met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off pretty well. To share our dynamics briefly, we were texting pretty frequently every day after our first date. Our conversations showed that he was making a genuine effort to get to know me. I work about an hour away from where he lives during the week, and he would offer to come visit me. He was also very thoughtful and respectful on our dates (picked places that were convenient for me to get to even if far for him, chose activities he didn’t necessarily enjoy but knew I’d like, never tried to kiss me but did say he wanted to). TLDR - I thought we had a lot of potential.We went on three dates over the course of three weeks (we were never physical), and then I had to go away for a two week trip. He made a subtle comment about how he wouldn’t see me for a long time. I made sure when I was leaving to still be pretty communicative to reassure him, but in the days leading up to my trip I could feel he was starting to pull away. He didn’t contact me except for on the first day of my trip, so when I got back I sent him a brief message just letting him know I was back and hope everything’s been good with him. His enthusiasm and frequency of texting has been way less. My question is - should I assume he’s still interested if he’s bothering to respond at all? I clearly showed I’m still interested in him by texting him when I returned - assuming he is still interested, why is he suddenly so detached (maybe a question for the guys)? My friends tell me he was probably feeling insecure about the trip, but I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing to put in effort or if he’s clearly showing me he’s moved on.Thank you all :)
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