Is it lack of interest or insecurity, or does it not matter?

Met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off pretty well. To share our dynamics briefly, we were texting pretty frequently every day after our first date. Our conversations showed that he was making a genuine effort to get to know me. I work about an hour away from where he lives during the week, and he would offer to come visit me. He was also very thoughtful and respectful on our dates (picked places that were convenient for me to get to even if far for him, chose activities he didn’t necessarily enjoy but knew I’d like, never tried to kiss me but did say he wanted to). TLDR - I thought we had a lot of potential.

We went on three dates over the course of three weeks (we were never physical), and then I had to go away for a two week trip. He made a subtle comment about how he wouldn’t see me for a long time. I made sure when I was leaving to still be pretty communicative to reassure him, but in the days leading up to my trip I could feel he was starting to pull away. He didn’t contact me except for on the first day of my trip, so when I got back I sent him a brief message just letting him know I was back and hope everything’s been good with him. His enthusiasm and frequency of texting has been way less. My question is - should I assume he’s still interested if he’s bothering to respond at all? I clearly showed I’m still interested in him by texting him when I returned - assuming he is still interested, why is he suddenly so detached (maybe a question for the guys)? My friends tell me he was probably feeling insecure about the trip, but I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing to put in effort or if he’s clearly showing me he’s moved on.

Thank you all :)



Submitted April 24, 2019 at 11:51PM

Met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off pretty well. To share our dynamics briefly, we were texting pretty frequently every day after our first date. Our conversations showed that he was making a genuine effort to get to know me. I work about an hour away from where he lives during the week, and he would offer to come visit me. He was also very thoughtful and respectful on our dates (picked places that were convenient for me to get to even if far for him, chose activities he didn’t necessarily enjoy but knew I’d like, never tried to kiss me but did say he wanted to). TLDR - I thought we had a lot of potential.We went on three dates over the course of three weeks (we were never physical), and then I had to go away for a two week trip. He made a subtle comment about how he wouldn’t see me for a long time. I made sure when I was leaving to still be pretty communicative to reassure him, but in the days leading up to my trip I could feel he was starting to pull away. He didn’t contact me except for on the first day of my trip, so when I got back I sent him a brief message just letting him know I was back and hope everything’s been good with him. His enthusiasm and frequency of texting has been way less. My question is - should I assume he’s still interested if he’s bothering to respond at all? I clearly showed I’m still interested in him by texting him when I returned - assuming he is still interested, why is he suddenly so detached (maybe a question for the guys)? My friends tell me he was probably feeling insecure about the trip, but I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing to put in effort or if he’s clearly showing me he’s moved on.Thank you all :)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more