I [25m] am growing increasingly frustrated by my and my girlfriend's [20f] sex life

We've been together for a year now. When we first met, our sex life was incredible. She was freaky and always down, and we had lots of good sex. Over time, though, it started to decrease from multiple times a day to maybe 3-4 times a week, most being on weekends, and I've not been handling it well.

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I've tried being more accepting for it, but it's frankly difficult for me. I have a high sex drive and I'm show affection physically, and I often feel rejected because she doesn't meet me with the same energy or try and give the same kind of love back. I've found myself telling her to hug me longer when we say our goodbyes ahead of a longer period without each other, because otherwise, she gives me a short hug that makes me feel like she doesn't care. We rarely make out, and our days consist of watching sitcoms until it's sleep time, during which she, more often than I'd like, turns down my advances because she's too tired.

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I feel like she doesn't try. One example is me emphasizing that I love to receive oral, something she hasn't done for me since a long time. I go down on her every time we have sex and she enjoys it. At this point, I feel like I'm more likely to be rejected when initiating sex than not, and like I stated in my title, it frustrates me.

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I can't handle rejection well and I've really tried to better myself, and I've tried to not expect to have sex as much, but I don't believe that she makes the same effort as me in this. Besides, I'm at odds on whether I should be compromising my sex life in the first place. We've been together for just one year (technically speaking, we're a year in in two days), and this repeated pattern of glaring at TV shows with little passion and spice is boring me out. I build up resentment then I let it out in bad ways, making snide remarks at her accusing her of not being attracted to me and saying things I regret the morning after.

​

We've gotten better at communication and she understands me better now, but I don't know how to advance from here on. I'm not going to force her to have sex with me, but our sex life is lackluster, and she doesn't seem to be trying to better things, judging by her reluctance to entertain my wish to receive oral more often. What's especially confusing and frustrating is her insistence that she's still attracted to me and how she "loves" to go down on me, although she hasn't done so in a month or so.

​

Writing this angers me. I love her a lot but her actions doesn't align with what she says, and I feel like I try to be better and I learn to communicate better every day. Why I'm writing this today is because, just yesterday, she told me in a conversation that was unrelated that she watches porn, to which I replied so you watch porn but we don't have sex? I cried myself to sleep last night. She's very understanding and we can finally communicate about this issue in a healthy manner, but what's the use if all I get is a space to vent?

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What do I do?

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**tl;dr: girlfriend doesn't want to have sex as much as I do and it frustrates me**



Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:55AM

We've been together for a year now. When we first met, our sex life was incredible. She was freaky and always down, and we had lots of good sex. Over time, though, it started to decrease from multiple times a day to maybe 3-4 times a week, most being on weekends, and I've not been handling it well.​I've tried being more accepting for it, but it's frankly difficult for me. I have a high sex drive and I'm show affection physically, and I often feel rejected because she doesn't meet me with the same energy or try and give the same kind of love back. I've found myself telling her to hug me longer when we say our goodbyes ahead of a longer period without each other, because otherwise, she gives me a short hug that makes me feel like she doesn't care. We rarely make out, and our days consist of watching sitcoms until it's sleep time, during which she, more often than I'd like, turns down my advances because she's too tired.​I feel like she doesn't try. One example is me emphasizing that I love to receive oral, something she hasn't done for me since a long time. I go down on her every time we have sex and she enjoys it. At this point, I feel like I'm more likely to be rejected when initiating sex than not, and like I stated in my title, it frustrates me.​I can't handle rejection well and I've really tried to better myself, and I've tried to not expect to have sex as much, but I don't believe that she makes the same effort as me in this. Besides, I'm at odds on whether I should be compromising my sex life in the first place. We've been together for just one year (technically speaking, we're a year in in two days), and this repeated pattern of glaring at TV shows with little passion and spice is boring me out. I build up resentment then I let it out in bad ways, making snide remarks at her accusing her of not being attracted to me and saying things I regret the morning after.​We've gotten better at communication and she understands me better now, but I don't know how to advance from here on. I'm not going to force her to have sex with me, but our sex life is lackluster, and she doesn't seem to be trying to better things, judging by her reluctance to entertain my wish to receive oral more often. What's especially confusing and frustrating is her insistence that she's still attracted to me and how she "loves" to go down on me, although she hasn't done so in a month or so.​Writing this angers me. I love her a lot but her actions doesn't align with what she says, and I feel like I try to be better and I learn to communicate better every day. Why I'm writing this today is because, just yesterday, she told me in a conversation that was unrelated that she watches porn, to which I replied so you watch porn but we don't have sex? I cried myself to sleep last night. She's very understanding and we can finally communicate about this issue in a healthy manner, but what's the use if all I get is a space to vent?​What do I do?​**tl;dr: girlfriend doesn't want to have sex as much as I do and it frustrates me**
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