confusing fwb/dating situation.

I've (28F) been hanging out with my friend Paul (35M) for about a year. When we met I was in a long-term open relationship and he was intentionally not dating due to a very packed schedule. We had great sex and it was fun. For unrelated reasons I broke up with my long term partner. Paul was very supportive during the time and we began talking more and spending more time together. Now we see each other about once a week and text most days.

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He's a very kind, caring person who listens to me and treats me with more compassion than I've ever known. But he's still super busy and has made it clear that I am not the priority in his life. He's told me that he spends more time with me than any other person in his life and I believe him, he's very transparent about his schedule. And I don't think he is attempting to play the field as I am non-monogamous and he could just tell me that. He really is just very busy and I know he is frustrated about not being where he wants to be and not being able to support family members financially. He talks a lot about the past and I think he's generally pretty unhappy with his current work and situation.

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I also don't feel like it's just about sex because there are times we get together and don't have sex or even fool around at all. And there have been times where me trying to initiate sex stresses him out because he feels like he has too much work wot get done.

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He has told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship and I respect that. But it is confusing because it's mostly him planning dates, sending me little gifts, having me meet all his friends, telling his mother about me and even suggested going to meet my dad. A few times I've talked to him about not see each other any more and he just says that I'm great and wonderful and he likes spending time with me. I know all his friends and they know me and I feel awkward when I get questions about our "relationship". I guess I feel like we aren't really together but publicly he seems fine to act like it. A few times he's wanted to great me with a kiss in front of people and I feel weird about it. He also mentioned that is someone he knew asked if he was seeing anyone he would say me.

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I told him I also and not ready to be in a full on realtionship but that I do have romantic type feelings for him. He said he couldn't even begin to think about that. I pressed him about it later saying that was a shity answer and he apologized but still never really responded. I guess I just feel confused by him seemingly pushing things towards a more traditional relationship but also keeping me at an arms length.

Submitted April 25, 2019 at 01:35AM

I've (28F) been hanging out with my friend Paul (35M) for about a year. When we met I was in a long-term open relationship and he was intentionally not dating due to a very packed schedule. We had great sex and it was fun. For unrelated reasons I broke up with my long term partner. Paul was very supportive during the time and we began talking more and spending more time together. Now we see each other about once a week and text most days.​He's a very kind, caring person who listens to me and treats me with more compassion than I've ever known. But he's still super busy and has made it clear that I am not the priority in his life. He's told me that he spends more time with me than any other person in his life and I believe him, he's very transparent about his schedule. And I don't think he is attempting to play the field as I am non-monogamous and he could just tell me that. He really is just very busy and I know he is frustrated about not being where he wants to be and not being able to support family members financially. He talks a lot about the past and I think he's generally pretty unhappy with his current work and situation.​I also don't feel like it's just about sex because there are times we get together and don't have sex or even fool around at all. And there have been times where me trying to initiate sex stresses him out because he feels like he has too much work wot get done.​He has told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship and I respect that. But it is confusing because it's mostly him planning dates, sending me little gifts, having me meet all his friends, telling his mother about me and even suggested going to meet my dad. A few times I've talked to him about not see each other any more and he just says that I'm great and wonderful and he likes spending time with me. I know all his friends and they know me and I feel awkward when I get questions about our "relationship". I guess I feel like we aren't really together but publicly he seems fine to act like it. A few times he's wanted to great me with a kiss in front of people and I feel weird about it. He also mentioned that is someone he knew asked if he was seeing anyone he would say me.​I told him I also and not ready to be in a full on realtionship but that I do have romantic type feelings for him. He said he couldn't even begin to think about that. I pressed him about it later saying that was a shity answer and he apologized but still never really responded. I guess I just feel confused by him seemingly pushing things towards a more traditional relationship but also keeping me at an arms length.