Women Taking Initiative?

New to the subreddit, and looking for some advice.

After 5 years of marriage, having a child, and being a divorced for a little over two years, I'm slowly getting back into the dating world. And the main complaint I have found from the handful of men I've agreed to go on dates with is that things ultimately fizzle out because they are tired of taking all the initiative. They are tired of planning dates, always contacting me first, being the ones to initiate the first hand hold or kiss... things like that.

It took me a couple weeks to figure out why that was. And I think it's because I'm constantly taking initiative in my own life because it's required of me, despite the fact that I'm an introvert. I'm a single parent, and that requires me to be a bull of a woman where I live, especially since my child has a couple of developmental delays he is working through. I also built my own career from the ground up after my divorce, without having a degree in it. And having my own career in that respect requires me to also step up and take initiative in my own life when dealing with and seeking out clients. By the time 5 o'clock rolls around and life starts to settle down, I'm all initiated out. I'd love to spend my evenings with someone, but I don't have the mental strength to figure out where we are going to go and what time in order to do that. I want to take a walk in the park and hold someone's hand while we watch the stars, but I don't have the energy to get in my car and go pick them up. I want to spend my weekends lying around naked in bed with someone from sunup to sundown, but I feel like it's crass and not very 'me' to send a text message that explicitly states just that.

Here's my question: is this a sign that I'm not ready for dating yet? Did I step into this game too early? Because if I have, I don't want to subject anyone else to this issue until I can get it fixed.

I hope all of you are doing well.

Submitted May 15, 2019 at 08:01PM

New to the subreddit, and looking for some advice.After 5 years of marriage, having a child, and being a divorced for a little over two years, I'm slowly getting back into the dating world. And the main complaint I have found from the handful of men I've agreed to go on dates with is that things ultimately fizzle out because they are tired of taking all the initiative. They are tired of planning dates, always contacting me first, being the ones to initiate the first hand hold or kiss... things like that.It took me a couple weeks to figure out why that was. And I think it's because I'm constantly taking initiative in my own life because it's required of me, despite the fact that I'm an introvert. I'm a single parent, and that requires me to be a bull of a woman where I live, especially since my child has a couple of developmental delays he is working through. I also built my own career from the ground up after my divorce, without having a degree in it. And having my own career in that respect requires me to also step up and take initiative in my own life when dealing with and seeking out clients. By the time 5 o'clock rolls around and life starts to settle down, I'm all initiated out. I'd love to spend my evenings with someone, but I don't have the mental strength to figure out where we are going to go and what time in order to do that. I want to take a walk in the park and hold someone's hand while we watch the stars, but I don't have the energy to get in my car and go pick them up. I want to spend my weekends lying around naked in bed with someone from sunup to sundown, but I feel like it's crass and not very 'me' to send a text message that explicitly states just that.Here's my question: is this a sign that I'm not ready for dating yet? Did I step into this game too early? Because if I have, I don't want to subject anyone else to this issue until I can get it fixed.I hope all of you are doing well.