Getting over singleness anxiety

This is a fairly common question here, but this is part question and part vent. I got out of a LTR about 9 months ago. Not my choice, didn't see it coming, still sad but largely over it. I've accepted that the relationship sucked and had to end. In fact I felt super alone with him and unloved. Now I'm feeling super sad and anxious about being single forever.

Five years ago when I met my ex I was just starting to feel a longing to settle down. Now that I'm about to turn 40 I feel that I'll never find someone. Yes, I like my life and I love my alone time. I've already travelled, learned another language, I have lots of friends and aquaintances and an all consuming hobby.

The thing is I'm distracted sometimes to tears at work thinking that I'll be alone forever and lately I have a hard time getting off the couch on the wknd. It could happen. Some people just don't get lucky. Or I could meet someone tomorrow. I just don't know.

How do I turn it down a notch so that being single is just part of my life and not the whole thing? Is this a temporary effect of my breakup or will I be desperately lonely until I meet someone?



Submitted May 15, 2019 at 04:38AM

This is a fairly common question here, but this is part question and part vent. I got out of a LTR about 9 months ago. Not my choice, didn't see it coming, still sad but largely over it. I've accepted that the relationship sucked and had to end. In fact I felt super alone with him and unloved. Now I'm feeling super sad and anxious about being single forever.Five years ago when I met my ex I was just starting to feel a longing to settle down. Now that I'm about to turn 40 I feel that I'll never find someone. Yes, I like my life and I love my alone time. I've already travelled, learned another language, I have lots of friends and aquaintances and an all consuming hobby.The thing is I'm distracted sometimes to tears at work thinking that I'll be alone forever and lately I have a hard time getting off the couch on the wknd. It could happen. Some people just don't get lucky. Or I could meet someone tomorrow. I just don't know.How do I turn it down a notch so that being single is just part of my life and not the whole thing? Is this a temporary effect of my breakup or will I be desperately lonely until I meet someone?
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