Is he coming on too strong or am I being defensive?

I’ve (F34) just been focusing on me for the last 6 months and it’s been great. I just bought my own adorable little house and I’m moving in next weekend. I just got a mini promotion at work and I feel like all my hard work is finally starting to pay off. I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m also not closing myself off to something if it happens.

A guy (35ish) I dated shortly before I left my hometown for college sent me a Facebook message last night. He took me on my first backpacking trip so I remember him fondly. After a few messages he asked me if I wanted to go for a hike today. I told him I can’t because of my work schedule and I’ll be moving all weekend. He replied that he was sorry for bothering me and goodbye. I was confused and told him he’s not bothering me and that I’m super busy with work and moving this week but maybe next weekend.

As I was falling asleep last night he sent me a couple messages and I woke up to a couple more. We exchanged a few more messages throughout the day then he called me on Facebook when he knew I was working. I didn’t answer and he sent me a message telling me to call him with his number. I get off work late and I had some errands to run so I asked if it’s cool if we chat tomorrow. He said sure. He just sent me a message saying he needs a hug.

I feel like he’s being a bit pushy and coming on too strongly. This is a huge turnoff for me. But I also worry that I might be putting my guard up because I’m not sure I want to start anything right now. I have a tendency to find things wrong to have an out before I get hurt.



Submitted May 15, 2019 at 08:07AM

I’ve (F34) just been focusing on me for the last 6 months and it’s been great. I just bought my own adorable little house and I’m moving in next weekend. I just got a mini promotion at work and I feel like all my hard work is finally starting to pay off. I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m also not closing myself off to something if it happens.A guy (35ish) I dated shortly before I left my hometown for college sent me a Facebook message last night. He took me on my first backpacking trip so I remember him fondly. After a few messages he asked me if I wanted to go for a hike today. I told him I can’t because of my work schedule and I’ll be moving all weekend. He replied that he was sorry for bothering me and goodbye. I was confused and told him he’s not bothering me and that I’m super busy with work and moving this week but maybe next weekend.As I was falling asleep last night he sent me a couple messages and I woke up to a couple more. We exchanged a few more messages throughout the day then he called me on Facebook when he knew I was working. I didn’t answer and he sent me a message telling me to call him with his number. I get off work late and I had some errands to run so I asked if it’s cool if we chat tomorrow. He said sure. He just sent me a message saying he needs a hug.I feel like he’s being a bit pushy and coming on too strongly. This is a huge turnoff for me. But I also worry that I might be putting my guard up because I’m not sure I want to start anything right now. I have a tendency to find things wrong to have an out before I get hurt.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more