Help me get a read on this situation and save me from myself

I could really use some input and help getting a read on a new person I've started dating a bit. She (29F) and I (34M) connected on OLD a few weeks ago. Chat was slow, sometimes days in between messages on both our ends. After a little bit I decided just to shoot my shot and get it over with. Asked her to meet for drink and she accepted, saying that she's been busy with finals but after they were over, she would be up for it.

We met up early last week for what was supposed to be a quick happy hour and ended up staying for a few hours until the restaurant was getting ready to close. Ended the date with a very PG kiss at her car and saying we would get together again. She texted me when she got home things I would think are good signs, "Thanks for tonight, I had a great time" "Looking forward to getting together again". Great I thought. The next day she text me a simple "hey hope your days going well", I responded back and locked down plans for another date which ended up being last night. During the week in between hangouts, we texted a couple times each day, bland stuff like "hows your day" etc. With long response times in between (usually an hour to a few hours). To me, that kind of felt like she's not really interested but went forward with the date anyway. We went out last night, had what i felt was a good time again, easy conversation, laughter etc. Had some more kissing but very PG again. She did disclose during this date that her last BF, whom she was with for 2+ years had BADLY betrayed her (they broke up about 1.5 years ago), noting "how can I ever trust someone again after that", I empathized and related with her, as I am divorced after being cheated on by my now ex-wife (Divorced 8 Months ago, separated 1+ year). The date ended well again, "Thanks, I had a great time, looking forward to getting together again".

Now, obviously I've been out of the game for a while and have trouble reading the signs, but it just feels to me like she's not that interested despite what she is saying to me. I definitely indicate my interest in her and compliment her but she barely shows any interest or excitement. Her texts are not very flirty ever, very slow response times (I'm not bombarding her either, I always let her respond on her own time and then I respond on mine) and it seems I'm the one doing all the pursuing. Yet, she's not cutting me loose and is agreeing to hang out again.

Am I overthinking this? I've had self-esteem issues I've worked on in therapy since my ex-wife's affair and maybe I'm being to anxious and not secure enough? Is it possible she just wants to move very slowly and carefully after being very hurt in the past? Ladies, if you say you had a good time and want to do it again, do you actually mean that?? I'm used to women giving me some more signals they are into me and having some more enthusiasm about getting together and making plans. Do I just attempt to make plans and keep going? I'm definitely interested in her and enjoy our time together. Please help.

Submitted May 15, 2019 at 07:07PM

I could really use some input and help getting a read on a new person I've started dating a bit. She (29F) and I (34M) connected on OLD a few weeks ago. Chat was slow, sometimes days in between messages on both our ends. After a little bit I decided just to shoot my shot and get it over with. Asked her to meet for drink and she accepted, saying that she's been busy with finals but after they were over, she would be up for it.We met up early last week for what was supposed to be a quick happy hour and ended up staying for a few hours until the restaurant was getting ready to close. Ended the date with a very PG kiss at her car and saying we would get together again. She texted me when she got home things I would think are good signs, "Thanks for tonight, I had a great time" "Looking forward to getting together again". Great I thought. The next day she text me a simple "hey hope your days going well", I responded back and locked down plans for another date which ended up being last night. During the week in between hangouts, we texted a couple times each day, bland stuff like "hows your day" etc. With long response times in between (usually an hour to a few hours). To me, that kind of felt like she's not really interested but went forward with the date anyway. We went out last night, had what i felt was a good time again, easy conversation, laughter etc. Had some more kissing but very PG again. She did disclose during this date that her last BF, whom she was with for 2+ years had BADLY betrayed her (they broke up about 1.5 years ago), noting "how can I ever trust someone again after that", I empathized and related with her, as I am divorced after being cheated on by my now ex-wife (Divorced 8 Months ago, separated 1+ year). The date ended well again, "Thanks, I had a great time, looking forward to getting together again".Now, obviously I've been out of the game for a while and have trouble reading the signs, but it just feels to me like she's not that interested despite what she is saying to me. I definitely indicate my interest in her and compliment her but she barely shows any interest or excitement. Her texts are not very flirty ever, very slow response times (I'm not bombarding her either, I always let her respond on her own time and then I respond on mine) and it seems I'm the one doing all the pursuing. Yet, she's not cutting me loose and is agreeing to hang out again.Am I overthinking this? I've had self-esteem issues I've worked on in therapy since my ex-wife's affair and maybe I'm being to anxious and not secure enough? Is it possible she just wants to move very slowly and carefully after being very hurt in the past? Ladies, if you say you had a good time and want to do it again, do you actually mean that?? I'm used to women giving me some more signals they are into me and having some more enthusiasm about getting together and making plans. Do I just attempt to make plans and keep going? I'm definitely interested in her and enjoy our time together. Please help.