Can i get my bf (32m) to trust me again?

Yes I did it. Yes I know it was wrong. I’ve apologized profusely and it’s not something I’ve ever done before, or plan to do again. I’m 29. He’s 32. That said, I found weird messages between my bf and his friend on Instagram. They’ve known each other for 10 years, so he said they were friendly and chatted about life etc. But she asked if we were official and he said “naw.” This is 6 months in to dating. He said he was joking and he meant truly nothing by it. She also sent some sexually suggestive messages to which he mind of along among with. I was/am obviously devastated and betrayed but i knew i had to tell him what i did/saw. So I did. We fought but resolved it. So i wrote it off because he said it meant nothing and i TRUST him. Anyway, a few weeks later he said he wanted a break. We have barely spoken despite my efforts and apologizing for reading this messages. However he’s shown not a lot of remorse for what i saw, claiming it’s my own fault for looking. He said he doesn’t want to break up but needs to think about if he can get over it. Yet won’t say “i want to break up.” is this something we should be able to get over? Am I wrong to believe the messages meant nothing? What steps would you take to regain that trust?

Edit 1: Yes, we were exclusive as he asked me to be in december. We are in our 30s. This is not a FWB situation.

TL;DR: I looked at my boyfriends phone and wonder how I can rebuild trust.

Submitted May 16, 2019 at 01:38AM

Yes I did it. Yes I know it was wrong. I’ve apologized profusely and it’s not something I’ve ever done before, or plan to do again. I’m 29. He’s 32. That said, I found weird messages between my bf and his friend on Instagram. They’ve known each other for 10 years, so he said they were friendly and chatted about life etc. But she asked if we were official and he said “naw.” This is 6 months in to dating. He said he was joking and he meant truly nothing by it. She also sent some sexually suggestive messages to which he mind of along among with. I was/am obviously devastated and betrayed but i knew i had to tell him what i did/saw. So I did. We fought but resolved it. So i wrote it off because he said it meant nothing and i TRUST him. Anyway, a few weeks later he said he wanted a break. We have barely spoken despite my efforts and apologizing for reading this messages. However he’s shown not a lot of remorse for what i saw, claiming it’s my own fault for looking. He said he doesn’t want to break up but needs to think about if he can get over it. Yet won’t say “i want to break up.” is this something we should be able to get over? Am I wrong to believe the messages meant nothing? What steps would you take to regain that trust?Edit 1: Yes, we were exclusive as he asked me to be in december. We are in our 30s. This is not a FWB situation.TL;DR: I looked at my boyfriends phone and wonder how I can rebuild trust.