When someone that you ask out says they can't make it because of a prior commitment/busy, and they don't give you an alternate day, what do you do?

I recently matched with a woman on Bumble who had pics of her taken at a geek bar that I also frequent. We were chatting about comics and other geeky things, and I brought up how the referenced bar was having a Tolkien-themed night on Friday in honor of the upcoming movie. I said that since I am a huge fan of second breakfast that I would be going to it, and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She wrote back saying that it sounded tempting but that she had a birthday that night, and she didn't know what a Tolkien was. I wrote back saying that I would be more than happy to show her the wonders of Middle Earth and Second Breakfast, and I asked her what day would work better for her. No response to that.

When you ask someone out, and they say that they already have something planned and they don't offer a different date or event, what do you do? Do you leave it as is and unmatch, or do you ask what day would work better, and if it's the latter, how would you word it? Or, would it be better to simply state "let me know when you're free?"



Submitted May 15, 2019 at 09:19PM

I recently matched with a woman on Bumble who had pics of her taken at a geek bar that I also frequent. We were chatting about comics and other geeky things, and I brought up how the referenced bar was having a Tolkien-themed night on Friday in honor of the upcoming movie. I said that since I am a huge fan of second breakfast that I would be going to it, and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She wrote back saying that it sounded tempting but that she had a birthday that night, and she didn't know what a Tolkien was. I wrote back saying that I would be more than happy to show her the wonders of Middle Earth and Second Breakfast, and I asked her what day would work better for her. No response to that.When you ask someone out, and they say that they already have something planned and they don't offer a different date or event, what do you do? Do you leave it as is and unmatch, or do you ask what day would work better, and if it's the latter, how would you word it? Or, would it be better to simply state "let me know when you're free?"
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