To Marry Or Not To Marry

Not sure if I should be going further in this relationship or not. I'm dating someone and have been for several years. Six months into it we took some time off - their choice, not mine. The reason being is because I had to work out of town M-F and wasn't home enough to make it feel like we were together. After 4-5 months we got back together and have been ever since. Gone on trips, moved in, yada yada yada. While we were not officially dating we still were together as much as possible on weekends and talked on the phone damn near every evening when I was out of town for work so there was still a lot of communication and interaction - just nothing physical. After we got back together I learned they had been hooking up with another person while we weren't dating. When I was home on the weekends I would be with the two of them just hanging out or in larger group settings not knowing that anything was going on between them. The third person was fully aware that we had been dating prior to me having to go out of town. I was even asked by my faux partner to go pick up the other person on several occasions because they didn't have a car so that they could join in whatever activity our friends were doing.

Once this all came to the top I was really mad/upset/felt stupid. I was told by my real-faux-real partner that I couldn't be mad at them because we weren't together. This is 100% correct. We weren't dating but again, we still had phone conversations daily, texted all the time and on weekends we were never apart. I was still considering the relationship as exclusive because I wanted to show that they mattered so much to me that even if we were apart for 5 days that they were the only thing I could think of and what got me through the week to the weekend until I could see them again. As soon as I stopped going out of town we got back together.

I haven't been able to really shake this even though it's been 2 years since I found out. Should the relationship continue? Also, before we were dating we were pretty much doing everything together and hooking up regularly but then after we got together officially I learned that they had also hooked up with my roommate at the time prior to us dating but while the two of us were very involved with each other. The roommate thing was a one time thing which I think was still shitty on both parties.

I'm a guy and she's a girl for what it's worth.



Submitted May 14, 2019 at 08:31PM

Not sure if I should be going further in this relationship or not. I'm dating someone and have been for several years. Six months into it we took some time off - their choice, not mine. The reason being is because I had to work out of town M-F and wasn't home enough to make it feel like we were together. After 4-5 months we got back together and have been ever since. Gone on trips, moved in, yada yada yada. While we were not officially dating we still were together as much as possible on weekends and talked on the phone damn near every evening when I was out of town for work so there was still a lot of communication and interaction - just nothing physical. After we got back together I learned they had been hooking up with another person while we weren't dating. When I was home on the weekends I would be with the two of them just hanging out or in larger group settings not knowing that anything was going on between them. The third person was fully aware that we had been dating prior to me having to go out of town. I was even asked by my faux partner to go pick up the other person on several occasions because they didn't have a car so that they could join in whatever activity our friends were doing.Once this all came to the top I was really mad/upset/felt stupid. I was told by my real-faux-real partner that I couldn't be mad at them because we weren't together. This is 100% correct. We weren't dating but again, we still had phone conversations daily, texted all the time and on weekends we were never apart. I was still considering the relationship as exclusive because I wanted to show that they mattered so much to me that even if we were apart for 5 days that they were the only thing I could think of and what got me through the week to the weekend until I could see them again. As soon as I stopped going out of town we got back together.I haven't been able to really shake this even though it's been 2 years since I found out. Should the relationship continue? Also, before we were dating we were pretty much doing everything together and hooking up regularly but then after we got together officially I learned that they had also hooked up with my roommate at the time prior to us dating but while the two of us were very involved with each other. The roommate thing was a one time thing which I think was still shitty on both parties.I'm a guy and she's a girl for what it's worth.
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