Guy [23] I dated for 2 months ‘broke up’ with me because of distance during summer.

I’m (21F) studying abroad full time and plan to stay in this country for an undetermined time. Two months ago, I met a guy from my university (his roommate is my classmate) and we started dating. We immediately liked each other a lot and he texted me every day, we went on multiple dates a week, saw each other at uni. In this time he also slept at my place a couple of times. It basically felt like we were in a relationship. When we found out, however, that during the summer there will basically be no opportunity for us to see each other (I’m doing a full time internship in my home country and he will be going on 5 or 6 different vacations/trips), we were a bit confused on how to continue. After he took some time to think he decided it’s better if we stop seeing each other now, with these 3 or 4 months of distance ahead. He told me he had tried this before in other relationships and suffers a lot from being away from the person he loves, and (rightfully) thinks that our 2 month base might not be strong enough to survive these 4 months with scarce meetings and opportunities to talk. We were both very sad and hurt by the situation and he told me many times how he has feelings for me and he hates doing this. He told me I’m a good and beautiful girl in terms of character and looks, and he was very happy during the time we dated. He even said that if the timing was different, he would have wanted me as his girlfriend..

Now on our last meeting I asked him if he thought there would be a chance for all this to continue after summer. He told me that we can see, but we don’t know what will change.. He also told me we can keep in touch but on a casual and scarce basis (maybe ask each other some times how the other is doing, but not texting daily/weekly). I can’t get this out of my mind and I feel like I just lost a person that could have been a very important part of my future.

I don’t know how to go about this situation. People are telling me to stay positive and ‘forget it’ for the coming months, because there is nothing I can do. I understand, but am I stupid to secretly hope for a continuation of this story after summer? I can text him some times to show my interest and ask him how he is doing, but besides that I have no idea how to deal with the situation. I also understand that during the summer he is free to do whatever he wants and accept this, as the relationship’s survival chances would have probably been worse if we decided to continue over summer. I live with this fear of him forgetting the connection that we had, and not wanting to see me anymore after summer. I understand a lot can change and time will only tell, but since the chances that either of us (with our summer schedules) end up in a relationship are very minimal.

I don’t know what I’m expecting, maybe just some words of encouragement, but anything will do..

edit: the relationship between his roommate and him (and my classmate and me) is not strong enough at this moment to ask her for any support or involve her in any way due to personal problems they encountered.

Submitted May 14, 2019 at 08:57PM

I’m (21F) studying abroad full time and plan to stay in this country for an undetermined time. Two months ago, I met a guy from my university (his roommate is my classmate) and we started dating. We immediately liked each other a lot and he texted me every day, we went on multiple dates a week, saw each other at uni. In this time he also slept at my place a couple of times. It basically felt like we were in a relationship. When we found out, however, that during the summer there will basically be no opportunity for us to see each other (I’m doing a full time internship in my home country and he will be going on 5 or 6 different vacations/trips), we were a bit confused on how to continue. After he took some time to think he decided it’s better if we stop seeing each other now, with these 3 or 4 months of distance ahead. He told me he had tried this before in other relationships and suffers a lot from being away from the person he loves, and (rightfully) thinks that our 2 month base might not be strong enough to survive these 4 months with scarce meetings and opportunities to talk. We were both very sad and hurt by the situation and he told me many times how he has feelings for me and he hates doing this. He told me I’m a good and beautiful girl in terms of character and looks, and he was very happy during the time we dated. He even said that if the timing was different, he would have wanted me as his girlfriend..Now on our last meeting I asked him if he thought there would be a chance for all this to continue after summer. He told me that we can see, but we don’t know what will change.. He also told me we can keep in touch but on a casual and scarce basis (maybe ask each other some times how the other is doing, but not texting daily/weekly). I can’t get this out of my mind and I feel like I just lost a person that could have been a very important part of my future.I don’t know how to go about this situation. People are telling me to stay positive and ‘forget it’ for the coming months, because there is nothing I can do. I understand, but am I stupid to secretly hope for a continuation of this story after summer? I can text him some times to show my interest and ask him how he is doing, but besides that I have no idea how to deal with the situation. I also understand that during the summer he is free to do whatever he wants and accept this, as the relationship’s survival chances would have probably been worse if we decided to continue over summer. I live with this fear of him forgetting the connection that we had, and not wanting to see me anymore after summer. I understand a lot can change and time will only tell, but since the chances that either of us (with our summer schedules) end up in a relationship are very minimal.I don’t know what I’m expecting, maybe just some words of encouragement, but anything will do..edit: the relationship between his roommate and him (and my classmate and me) is not strong enough at this moment to ask her for any support or involve her in any way due to personal problems they encountered.