Is my luck just bad or am I missing something?

I was reading the post about how people think about their exes and it got me thinking. The last couple of women I dated (2 LTRs from 22-32) I remember fondly. We had a ton in common, did lots of stuff together etc etc. On the surface, seems like everything should be great.

But then it occured to me, that when I met both of them, neither of them really DID much of anything. One just hung out with friends, pretty average I'd say. But the second had pretty much no social life and no friends outside of me. I'd often ask both for input on things to do, places to go etc, but was always met with some form of "Oh whatever you want to do".

Now, I'm a huge motorcycle buff, I work on all my own bikes, I own many of them, and I'm just generally all around passionate about racing and motorcycles. #1 took a liking to my sport bikes I was riding at the time. Rode late with the group I rode with and pretty much abandoned her old friend circle. That ended in disaster when she decided to cheat. So bullet dodged-ish.

2nd came along from an OLD match and we got to talking, hanging out and what not. In pretty short order she was riding her own bike, we'd go riding and so on. Again, at the time it looked like we had a bunch in common. Ultimately it ended for other reasons (I lost a job and couldn't get a grip on things).

But now that I'm thinking about it. Does it seem like I actually had anything in common with this people? I always made sure never to force the issue if they didn't want to do something and was, and still am, always interested in meeting people and doing other things. It's just starting to seem like I didn't really share a passion because they both just jumped on mine. Did I completely wiff on finding a real connection because I mistook them having my huge passion in common for them just going with the flow?

Submitted April 10, 2019 at 06:11AM

I was reading the post about how people think about their exes and it got me thinking. The last couple of women I dated (2 LTRs from 22-32) I remember fondly. We had a ton in common, did lots of stuff together etc etc. On the surface, seems like everything should be great.But then it occured to me, that when I met both of them, neither of them really DID much of anything. One just hung out with friends, pretty average I'd say. But the second had pretty much no social life and no friends outside of me. I'd often ask both for input on things to do, places to go etc, but was always met with some form of "Oh whatever you want to do".Now, I'm a huge motorcycle buff, I work on all my own bikes, I own many of them, and I'm just generally all around passionate about racing and motorcycles. #1 took a liking to my sport bikes I was riding at the time. Rode late with the group I rode with and pretty much abandoned her old friend circle. That ended in disaster when she decided to cheat. So bullet dodged-ish.2nd came along from an OLD match and we got to talking, hanging out and what not. In pretty short order she was riding her own bike, we'd go riding and so on. Again, at the time it looked like we had a bunch in common. Ultimately it ended for other reasons (I lost a job and couldn't get a grip on things).But now that I'm thinking about it. Does it seem like I actually had anything in common with this people? I always made sure never to force the issue if they didn't want to do something and was, and still am, always interested in meeting people and doing other things. It's just starting to seem like I didn't really share a passion because they both just jumped on mine. Did I completely wiff on finding a real connection because I mistook them having my huge passion in common for them just going with the flow?