Worried about dating with toddler! [32/F]

Hello!

I am a 32 year old female. Divorced from a serial cheater and abuser (in every way) for almost two years now.

I haven't dated *at all* since the split. I'm over being jaded and bitter, and I finally feel "ready." (I took this whole time to do therapy and learn to "love myself" - sounds lame, but it worked!). I even forgave my ex, and we are co-parenting well. I have primary custody, and he gets every other weekend, when he bothers.

I can honestly say that I feel better than ever and am ready to date again. I've been very lonely lately. However, my ex has had at least 6 "girlfriends" he has introduced my daughter to in the time since our divorce - which is his prerogative (no spending the night allowed, but no other rules about introducing partners)- but our daughter [3yo] really gets upset about meeting his new girlfriends. She says her dad "doesn't pay attention" to her when she visits him.

I have been hit on a ton actually - since the minute my split spread through the grapevine. I haven't really even had any men deterred by the fact I have a daughter (which surprised me honestly) - but I'm scared! I'm so afraid to mess my daughter up even more. She always says she "hates dada's girlfriends." And I'm assuming it's not *them* per se, but rather that she is just getting confused by the revolving door of girls she is meeting (He is 45 and his oldest gf thus far has been his current one - 25. I know, he was 13 years older than me and told me he cheated on me "because I was getting old - true story. Yikes!).... more red flags than a communist parade in China! Anyway, hindsight is truly 20/20.

I have avoided men and dates like the plague due to "working on myself," but I finally feel READY! I sure af know every red flag to look for now lol. How can I start dating without making my kid upset? I'm not like my ex, in that I'm not one to have a revolving door of partners; but I am terrified my kid will either get sad or messed up in the head if I start dating somebody. I don't want to be alone until my child is 18, but for some reason the only thing holding me up from putting myself out there is her and her well-being.

Any single moms or dads with advice? I don't have a dating profile, and I don't even have social media; but I've met plenty of guys I've been interested in IRL. I just can't get past my fear of making my kid upset. The divorce NEVER bothered her until her dad started introducing her to his gfs. I'm afraid if I start dating she won't feel "safe."? Does that even make sense? Anyway, I'm just conflicted and venting I guess. Any advice would be appreciated!

Thank y'all!

Submitted May 27, 2019 at 06:00AM

Hello!I am a 32 year old female. Divorced from a serial cheater and abuser (in every way) for almost two years now.I haven't dated *at all* since the split. I'm over being jaded and bitter, and I finally feel "ready." (I took this whole time to do therapy and learn to "love myself" - sounds lame, but it worked!). I even forgave my ex, and we are co-parenting well. I have primary custody, and he gets every other weekend, when he bothers.I can honestly say that I feel better than ever and am ready to date again. I've been very lonely lately. However, my ex has had at least 6 "girlfriends" he has introduced my daughter to in the time since our divorce - which is his prerogative (no spending the night allowed, but no other rules about introducing partners)- but our daughter [3yo] really gets upset about meeting his new girlfriends. She says her dad "doesn't pay attention" to her when she visits him.I have been hit on a ton actually - since the minute my split spread through the grapevine. I haven't really even had any men deterred by the fact I have a daughter (which surprised me honestly) - but I'm scared! I'm so afraid to mess my daughter up even more. She always says she "hates dada's girlfriends." And I'm assuming it's not *them* per se, but rather that she is just getting confused by the revolving door of girls she is meeting (He is 45 and his oldest gf thus far has been his current one - 25. I know, he was 13 years older than me and told me he cheated on me "because I was getting old - true story. Yikes!).... more red flags than a communist parade in China! Anyway, hindsight is truly 20/20.I have avoided men and dates like the plague due to "working on myself," but I finally feel READY! I sure af know every red flag to look for now lol. How can I start dating without making my kid upset? I'm not like my ex, in that I'm not one to have a revolving door of partners; but I am terrified my kid will either get sad or messed up in the head if I start dating somebody. I don't want to be alone until my child is 18, but for some reason the only thing holding me up from putting myself out there is her and her well-being.Any single moms or dads with advice? I don't have a dating profile, and I don't even have social media; but I've met plenty of guys I've been interested in IRL. I just can't get past my fear of making my kid upset. The divorce NEVER bothered her until her dad started introducing her to his gfs. I'm afraid if I start dating she won't feel "safe."? Does that even make sense? Anyway, I'm just conflicted and venting I guess. Any advice would be appreciated!Thank y'all!