Should I feel guilty for joining the navy and leaving my wife at home alone for the time (both 23)? (TL;DR).

It’s been almost 5 months since I left home to be in the navy, which has been a dream of mine since I was a child. When we met I told her straight up that this is what I wanted, and that after being eligible again to join after not being able to when I was 19 yrs old due to an ACL injury, I was not going back. We’ve been together for about a year, but ever since I left it’s been hard for her. She’s already suffering from your typical depression and anxiety, and the loneliness has been stressing her out. While I’m in A school, I was able to get an apartment for her to stay close to base while I’m in school, so that I can visit her on weekends that aren’t duty days. While FaceTiming, she’s constantly talking about how sad she is, and how I left her all alone. The last time we were able to spend time was when I graduated, and while together she asked if we could be in an open relationship, which I 100% disagreed. At first it freaked me out, but after time passed I returned calm and competent. I told her to do whatever you needed to do to survive, Because I’m not there for her or may not be there for her, but to just know that I won’t be able to love you like I do. If we would have to split up, I’ll still support her until she’s stable. The way she’s always sad and crying, makes me feel as if I did something wrong, but it’s been something I’ve always wanted in life, and told her from the start.

I do love her, but I told her to do what you must to survive if I’m gone. I’ll be ok.

Extra info to note: We married fast because she’s Vietnamese, and doesn’t hold citizenship yet, as she’s on her student visa.

Submitted May 27, 2019 at 03:00AM

It’s been almost 5 months since I left home to be in the navy, which has been a dream of mine since I was a child. When we met I told her straight up that this is what I wanted, and that after being eligible again to join after not being able to when I was 19 yrs old due to an ACL injury, I was not going back. We’ve been together for about a year, but ever since I left it’s been hard for her. She’s already suffering from your typical depression and anxiety, and the loneliness has been stressing her out. While I’m in A school, I was able to get an apartment for her to stay close to base while I’m in school, so that I can visit her on weekends that aren’t duty days. While FaceTiming, she’s constantly talking about how sad she is, and how I left her all alone. The last time we were able to spend time was when I graduated, and while together she asked if we could be in an open relationship, which I 100% disagreed. At first it freaked me out, but after time passed I returned calm and competent. I told her to do whatever you needed to do to survive, Because I’m not there for her or may not be there for her, but to just know that I won’t be able to love you like I do. If we would have to split up, I’ll still support her until she’s stable. The way she’s always sad and crying, makes me feel as if I did something wrong, but it’s been something I’ve always wanted in life, and told her from the start.I do love her, but I told her to do what you must to survive if I’m gone. I’ll be ok.Extra info to note: We married fast because she’s Vietnamese, and doesn’t hold citizenship yet, as she’s on her student visa.