Advice Please: She's over 30, I'm not

TL;DR m23 seeks advice on next move to make after a rare spot of romantic success with 40something lady.

I had an epic night on Friday when at a friends birthday party. I'm usually more antisocial but the whole party was so drunk and merry, I was actually quite on form. Since the start of the night I had been bantering with one of the "Grown Ups" at the party. She must've been around mid-40s, but she knew how to have fun and we spent a long time joking around over cigarettes, and gradually becoming more flirty. Anyone who knows me would confirm that the flirting stressed me the F out! I can always hold conversations but I struggle to flirt because hey rejection isn't fun. Soon though the flirting became a bit more overt, and I became a lot more stressed. The alcohol was obviously helping, but never enough to convince me to shoot my shot at my friends-moms-friend, because in my mind I'd probably been misreading all the signs anyway. Until a bit later we were on the dance floor and myself and this lady grinded for very brief moment. She turned around, grabbed my face and gave me a peck on the lips, and then walked away. So that gave me a bit more confidence but still... could be misreading the signs you know? Turns out I maybe was... the next time we were dancing we had a slightly more spirited grind, before she whispered into my ear "We can't do this"... So I'm like "Ah well. Fair enough, can fully understand" and we just keep bantering/flirting until she wants to leave. So then I offer to walk her out to her Uber and she says yes. Then as we're saying goodbye I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she just turned and pulled in. Best kiss of my life, hands down. My heart was going at like quadruple pace by then, even with the alcohol calming my nerves. I somehow managed to remain a human long enough to get her number though. And this is now where I need advice. I'm really quite into this whole situation so I'd love to see her again. But tbh I'm shit scared of calling/messaging her and I also have no idea what to say. My best thought so far would be to message her and just say I'm free for a coffee if she's keen, else I'll disappear off her radar.

Any advice on how I can proceed please?



Submitted May 26, 2019 at 07:54AM

TL;DR m23 seeks advice on next move to make after a rare spot of romantic success with 40something lady.I had an epic night on Friday when at a friends birthday party. I'm usually more antisocial but the whole party was so drunk and merry, I was actually quite on form. Since the start of the night I had been bantering with one of the "Grown Ups" at the party. She must've been around mid-40s, but she knew how to have fun and we spent a long time joking around over cigarettes, and gradually becoming more flirty. Anyone who knows me would confirm that the flirting stressed me the F out! I can always hold conversations but I struggle to flirt because hey rejection isn't fun. Soon though the flirting became a bit more overt, and I became a lot more stressed. The alcohol was obviously helping, but never enough to convince me to shoot my shot at my friends-moms-friend, because in my mind I'd probably been misreading all the signs anyway. Until a bit later we were on the dance floor and myself and this lady grinded for very brief moment. She turned around, grabbed my face and gave me a peck on the lips, and then walked away. So that gave me a bit more confidence but still... could be misreading the signs you know? Turns out I maybe was... the next time we were dancing we had a slightly more spirited grind, before she whispered into my ear "We can't do this"... So I'm like "Ah well. Fair enough, can fully understand" and we just keep bantering/flirting until she wants to leave. So then I offer to walk her out to her Uber and she says yes. Then as we're saying goodbye I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she just turned and pulled in. Best kiss of my life, hands down. My heart was going at like quadruple pace by then, even with the alcohol calming my nerves. I somehow managed to remain a human long enough to get her number though. And this is now where I need advice. I'm really quite into this whole situation so I'd love to see her again. But tbh I'm shit scared of calling/messaging her and I also have no idea what to say. My best thought so far would be to message her and just say I'm free for a coffee if she's keen, else I'll disappear off her radar.Any advice on how I can proceed please?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more