Not asking for advice. But in my experience, real love is almost unshakeable. And even if all you want to do is shake it off, you can’t.

I had a dream of sex with my ex last night. We broke up 3 years ago, dated for 4. It was the most vivid dream Ive had in a long time. I can remember all of it. The slowness with which everything started... putting my hand around the side of her head and feeling her ear... I can’t remember how it ended and I guess Im grateful for that. But why do I have to be? Why is it that I can miss her so badly with everything inside me, and also want to never see her again for what she put me through. I haven’t been able to hold a legitimate conversation with a girl ever since I left. Been in a few small relationships but nothing serious.

Why do I have to miss her so badly? She got pregnant three months after we broke up and just had her second. Why can I not get over her? This pain has led me to become someone I never thought Id be. Every day is more gray and confusing than the last. I haven’t seen her face in three years but I saw it last night like it was the realest thing ever. I hate this so much. And as a guy, none of my friends seem to understand what Ive been going through.

Idk if this will ever end. But all I know, is I wish I would have done more to keep her from acting out on me instead of just being a lazy asshole. If you have something good, hold on to it. Its more rare than you think.



Submitted May 27, 2019 at 03:45AM

I had a dream of sex with my ex last night. We broke up 3 years ago, dated for 4. It was the most vivid dream Ive had in a long time. I can remember all of it. The slowness with which everything started... putting my hand around the side of her head and feeling her ear... I can’t remember how it ended and I guess Im grateful for that. But why do I have to be? Why is it that I can miss her so badly with everything inside me, and also want to never see her again for what she put me through. I haven’t been able to hold a legitimate conversation with a girl ever since I left. Been in a few small relationships but nothing serious.Why do I have to miss her so badly? She got pregnant three months after we broke up and just had her second. Why can I not get over her? This pain has led me to become someone I never thought Id be. Every day is more gray and confusing than the last. I haven’t seen her face in three years but I saw it last night like it was the realest thing ever. I hate this so much. And as a guy, none of my friends seem to understand what Ive been going through.Idk if this will ever end. But all I know, is I wish I would have done more to keep her from acting out on me instead of just being a lazy asshole. If you have something good, hold on to it. Its more rare than you think.
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