Wife wants Annulment. Need Help!

So my wife (23F) and myself (28M) have been together for 3 years this upcoming June. We married in December of 2018. I thought we were perfect together. Both of us medical professionals. She comes out of left field last weekend wanting an annulment. She tells me that she is in the darkest depression she has ever been in, because she feels that she can't make me happy. She explains that she can not be intimate with me. We've had sex a total of 6 times since December. I knew something was up, but I had blinders on this whole time. I blamed it on our crazy schedules, she works nights, and I work days. I am constantly traveling for school. She was never in the mood when our schedules lined up. Yeah it was frustrating for me but I never had a doubt that we weren't solid together.

My wife has had intimacy issues since we first began dating. We started sleeping with each other early in our relationship doing everything but penetration. We didn't have penetrative sex until 6 months into our relationship. After our first time having sex, she got a nasty UTI. We had sex a few more times after the UTI incident and then we had a pregnancy scare which convinced us both to not have sex for quite some time because we knew we were not ready for a child at this point in our lives because we were both in school. I think I have unknowingly and knowingly put pressure on her to be intimate in the bedroom. So the few times we have sex, I now know it was out of pity. She doesn't like penetrative sex. It has hurt her in the past with previous partners and it has never gotten any better with me. She tells me that she thought this problem would work itself out on its own after we married. Apparently it has only gotten worse.

I love her with every bit of my existence. During the annulment conversation she told me that she stilled loved me and will always love me. But she is unhappy and it is physically making her sick. After the annulment conversation was over ( which I overreacted, telling her this is all bullshit, I suggested counseling, "you promised we'd always be together") she asked me if I wanted her wedding ring back. I said yes. She goes to her family's place and I go to my family's home. Later that night I drive over to where she is and I give the ring back to her, saying " I love you and I am going to fight for you".

She has barely talked to me since the annulment conversation. I haven't seen her since that terrible night. I am in pieces. I am willing to give up everything for her. She has told me that she is going to go to a counselor. But I feel that she has hardened her heart towards me. I've been talking with her parents, and it sounds like she was reluctant to even seek out counseling. I ask her Mom how she is doing daily. She tells me she is good and eating better. But today she tells me "that above all we'll always be friends" which scared the hell out of me. I've texted her that I love her multiple times and she has yet to reciprocate.

I want to be with her but I don't know if I need to be more proactive or give her time and space to heal? I've already looked into counseling for myself.

This is my first reddit post, forgive me all the errors, I just needed some support

Submitted May 07, 2019 at 01:42AM

So my wife (23F) and myself (28M) have been together for 3 years this upcoming June. We married in December of 2018. I thought we were perfect together. Both of us medical professionals. She comes out of left field last weekend wanting an annulment. She tells me that she is in the darkest depression she has ever been in, because she feels that she can't make me happy. She explains that she can not be intimate with me. We've had sex a total of 6 times since December. I knew something was up, but I had blinders on this whole time. I blamed it on our crazy schedules, she works nights, and I work days. I am constantly traveling for school. She was never in the mood when our schedules lined up. Yeah it was frustrating for me but I never had a doubt that we weren't solid together.My wife has had intimacy issues since we first began dating. We started sleeping with each other early in our relationship doing everything but penetration. We didn't have penetrative sex until 6 months into our relationship. After our first time having sex, she got a nasty UTI. We had sex a few more times after the UTI incident and then we had a pregnancy scare which convinced us both to not have sex for quite some time because we knew we were not ready for a child at this point in our lives because we were both in school. I think I have unknowingly and knowingly put pressure on her to be intimate in the bedroom. So the few times we have sex, I now know it was out of pity. She doesn't like penetrative sex. It has hurt her in the past with previous partners and it has never gotten any better with me. She tells me that she thought this problem would work itself out on its own after we married. Apparently it has only gotten worse.I love her with every bit of my existence. During the annulment conversation she told me that she stilled loved me and will always love me. But she is unhappy and it is physically making her sick. After the annulment conversation was over ( which I overreacted, telling her this is all bullshit, I suggested counseling, "you promised we'd always be together") she asked me if I wanted her wedding ring back. I said yes. She goes to her family's place and I go to my family's home. Later that night I drive over to where she is and I give the ring back to her, saying " I love you and I am going to fight for you".She has barely talked to me since the annulment conversation. I haven't seen her since that terrible night. I am in pieces. I am willing to give up everything for her. She has told me that she is going to go to a counselor. But I feel that she has hardened her heart towards me. I've been talking with her parents, and it sounds like she was reluctant to even seek out counseling. I ask her Mom how she is doing daily. She tells me she is good and eating better. But today she tells me "that above all we'll always be friends" which scared the hell out of me. I've texted her that I love her multiple times and she has yet to reciprocate.I want to be with her but I don't know if I need to be more proactive or give her time and space to heal? I've already looked into counseling for myself.This is my first reddit post, forgive me all the errors, I just needed some support