How do I deal with my SO (33) being disrespectful when given friendly advice about our child?

I can't go for one visit to my mother without my fiance bringing up something that I didn't even think of and never would have. Stuff like "Do you think your mom thinks blabla" "why did your mom say [insert minor detail here that you only find if you are looking]". This happened only after we had our son (1.5 years old now).

Now it all culminated while sitting at the dinner table. Our son took his plate of soup and threw it all over me and I stood up and said "fuckin ay'" and walked off, before dinner started. It had been a long day and I came back after a quick visit to the bathroom to clean myself up. I had no malice towards my son.

My mom tells me every parent can get upset and frustrated and my fiance interjects "snapping at your child is not allowed in this household" my mom, me and everyone at the table tries to tell her that getting frustrated with your child and snapping at it, is not the same thing. She ends up saying "I don't wanna talk to you anymore" to my mom. Now my mom royally fucked up in the heat of the moment by telling her she can't be this sensitive to everything, and I know that hits hard because that's what I keep telling her.

I think she's quite literally ruined their relationship now. My mom has been stepping on egg shells around her because I keep telling her "don't say this" "don't do that" and I'm pretty sure she has no interest in coming over anymore.

What the fuck do I do? I personally feel my fiance is out of line here. Not only in this incidence but almost all, it's like she's looking for reasons for why my mom would be trying to be nasty to her.

We had the same problem a year back, right after the birth, and she said we needed counseling because my mom is obviously ruining our relationship, so I agreed and we had couple therapy, which ended up in the therapist privately telling me that after speaking to both of us in private and in group, she thought my fiance needed some therapy of her own and they did private therapy for a while, which helped, but now it seems it was all for nothing.

The problem isn't even just my mom, it's all her relationships. She doesn't have any friends and if she tries she will abandon them because "they said something" or "insinuated something". I'm starting to think she has paranoid personality disorder.

Submitted May 07, 2019 at 06:57AM

I can't go for one visit to my mother without my fiance bringing up something that I didn't even think of and never would have. Stuff like "Do you think your mom thinks blabla" "why did your mom say [insert minor detail here that you only find if you are looking]". This happened only after we had our son (1.5 years old now).Now it all culminated while sitting at the dinner table. Our son took his plate of soup and threw it all over me and I stood up and said "fuckin ay'" and walked off, before dinner started. It had been a long day and I came back after a quick visit to the bathroom to clean myself up. I had no malice towards my son.My mom tells me every parent can get upset and frustrated and my fiance interjects "snapping at your child is not allowed in this household" my mom, me and everyone at the table tries to tell her that getting frustrated with your child and snapping at it, is not the same thing. She ends up saying "I don't wanna talk to you anymore" to my mom. Now my mom royally fucked up in the heat of the moment by telling her she can't be this sensitive to everything, and I know that hits hard because that's what I keep telling her.I think she's quite literally ruined their relationship now. My mom has been stepping on egg shells around her because I keep telling her "don't say this" "don't do that" and I'm pretty sure she has no interest in coming over anymore.What the fuck do I do? I personally feel my fiance is out of line here. Not only in this incidence but almost all, it's like she's looking for reasons for why my mom would be trying to be nasty to her.We had the same problem a year back, right after the birth, and she said we needed counseling because my mom is obviously ruining our relationship, so I agreed and we had couple therapy, which ended up in the therapist privately telling me that after speaking to both of us in private and in group, she thought my fiance needed some therapy of her own and they did private therapy for a while, which helped, but now it seems it was all for nothing.The problem isn't even just my mom, it's all her relationships. She doesn't have any friends and if she tries she will abandon them because "they said something" or "insinuated something". I'm starting to think she has paranoid personality disorder.