Unsure of diagnosis, unsure of what to do

I'm in an extremely new relationship with someone I suspect is bipolar. He had mentioned that he took mood stabilizers every morning but didn't elaborate and I didn't press him, planning to ask him about it at a later time.

We got together super fast... he asked me to be his girlfriend after a few incredible dates in and I happily accepted, aware that it was probably too immediate, but our connection was amazing and I was really feeling it. I have NEVER gotten with anyone this fast, but he made me happy, so I decided to go with it. I got the attention I wanted. The good morning texts, the frequent communication,seeing each other frequently despite our distance from each other. Awesome few weeks there...

And then last week, I started to feel him being distant. Slow on replies, not reaching out. I called him out on the behavior and he admitted it. Said he was really focused on work. A few days after that he admitted being distant, but it wasn't personal, that work was beyond stressful. He said he was used to being alone and taking care of his problems and that though he knows he has me now, it's not easy to let me in, it's not like he can be a switch. ( which I absolutely do understand) However,during the course of the week, it went from slow and less frequent replies to almost nonexistent communication. I haven't talked to him on the phone in a week. He texted me a longer message on Tuesday and told me that he missed me, that he was sorry, couldn't believe he was treating me the way he was, that he was isolating himself from everyone, locking himself away in his room only to leave for work and that I deserve so much better than what he could offer. I replied back, thanking him for letting me know what was happening. I told him that from his text that I was getting the impression that he wanted to let me go. I do not give up on something that I want easily, but I cannot fight for something that my partner no longer wants to fight for, so if that's the case, then I will give that to you. If you are willing to talk things out after you in a better position, I will give you the space you need and wait for you. No response from him. Yesterday I reached out and told him I was thinking about him and to be kind and patient with himself. He replied back, "that's exactly why you deserve better than me". I responded "Please stop that. I want you and only you. You are worth the wait." No response.

I really just don't know what to do anymore. Should I just give him complete space and not check in with him every day? Should I just let him be the one to reach out to me? I don't want to give him any additional pressure. Since I don't know exactly what his diagnosis is, I'm also thinking maybe this is just his way of eventually ghosting me, but I honestly don't feel that's the case. Is this something that occurs frequently with people who are bipolar? Do they pretty much "ghost" and come back? I really do like him and believe we have a great connection, but we are so new and this is a lot to take in. I just wish he would be a bit more open... At this point, I assume I'm not going be able to get that, or a confirmation on a diagnosis, until he is in a better place mentally.

Submitted May 16, 2019 at 08:09PM

I'm in an extremely new relationship with someone I suspect is bipolar. He had mentioned that he took mood stabilizers every morning but didn't elaborate and I didn't press him, planning to ask him about it at a later time.We got together super fast... he asked me to be his girlfriend after a few incredible dates in and I happily accepted, aware that it was probably too immediate, but our connection was amazing and I was really feeling it. I have NEVER gotten with anyone this fast, but he made me happy, so I decided to go with it. I got the attention I wanted. The good morning texts, the frequent communication,seeing each other frequently despite our distance from each other. Awesome few weeks there...And then last week, I started to feel him being distant. Slow on replies, not reaching out. I called him out on the behavior and he admitted it. Said he was really focused on work. A few days after that he admitted being distant, but it wasn't personal, that work was beyond stressful. He said he was used to being alone and taking care of his problems and that though he knows he has me now, it's not easy to let me in, it's not like he can be a switch. ( which I absolutely do understand) However,during the course of the week, it went from slow and less frequent replies to almost nonexistent communication. I haven't talked to him on the phone in a week. He texted me a longer message on Tuesday and told me that he missed me, that he was sorry, couldn't believe he was treating me the way he was, that he was isolating himself from everyone, locking himself away in his room only to leave for work and that I deserve so much better than what he could offer. I replied back, thanking him for letting me know what was happening. I told him that from his text that I was getting the impression that he wanted to let me go. I do not give up on something that I want easily, but I cannot fight for something that my partner no longer wants to fight for, so if that's the case, then I will give that to you. If you are willing to talk things out after you in a better position, I will give you the space you need and wait for you. No response from him. Yesterday I reached out and told him I was thinking about him and to be kind and patient with himself. He replied back, "that's exactly why you deserve better than me". I responded "Please stop that. I want you and only you. You are worth the wait." No response.I really just don't know what to do anymore. Should I just give him complete space and not check in with him every day? Should I just let him be the one to reach out to me? I don't want to give him any additional pressure. Since I don't know exactly what his diagnosis is, I'm also thinking maybe this is just his way of eventually ghosting me, but I honestly don't feel that's the case. Is this something that occurs frequently with people who are bipolar? Do they pretty much "ghost" and come back? I really do like him and believe we have a great connection, but we are so new and this is a lot to take in. I just wish he would be a bit more open... At this point, I assume I'm not going be able to get that, or a confirmation on a diagnosis, until he is in a better place mentally.