Advice on Anal? (queer couple, pegging)

Hey! I’m 20, agender (they/them), and dating an absolutely wonderful person (also 20, for what it’s worth). All in all our sex life is pretty damn fabulous, barring the fact that we both have roommates so we don’t frequently have time to hook up. I’m AFAB and can’t do vaginal sex due to dysphoria, but luckily my partner (AMAB, but not cis- using he/him pronouns currently but will edit if that changes!) is into receiving anal. This is great for me cause the feeling of a strap on gives me intense feelings of gender euphoria, and he really enjoys it. This is where things get a little difficult though. The first few times we had anal sex with the strap-on it went just fine, he really enjoyed it, I really enjoyed it, but recently it’s been more difficult to get it to work, at least from a... logistical perspective? I have a hard time maintaining any sort of rhythm or lasting for extended periods of time when fucking him from behind because my joints are weak and I get sore quickly. We’re both relatively inexperienced in this field, and he has a hard time articulating exactly what he wants me to do, and even when he can I have something of a hard time executing it because while the strap feels really good to wear, I can’t actually feel it :/ Cowgirl style has been fine, but he seems more interested in other positions, which I want to do as well, but like I said, it can be hard to do, as I often can’t maintain a position for long or the strap will slip out without me noticing. My hips are still sore from our last unsuccessful attempt. I’m struggling with this as it is frustrating not to be able to provide this particular facet of satisfaction to my partner, and it also aggravates some of my (usually minor) genital dysphoria. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Submitted April 15, 2019 at 05:36AM

Hey! I’m 20, agender (they/them), and dating an absolutely wonderful person (also 20, for what it’s worth). All in all our sex life is pretty damn fabulous, barring the fact that we both have roommates so we don’t frequently have time to hook up. I’m AFAB and can’t do vaginal sex due to dysphoria, but luckily my partner (AMAB, but not cis- using he/him pronouns currently but will edit if that changes!) is into receiving anal. This is great for me cause the feeling of a strap on gives me intense feelings of gender euphoria, and he really enjoys it. This is where things get a little difficult though. The first few times we had anal sex with the strap-on it went just fine, he really enjoyed it, I really enjoyed it, but recently it’s been more difficult to get it to work, at least from a... logistical perspective? I have a hard time maintaining any sort of rhythm or lasting for extended periods of time when fucking him from behind because my joints are weak and I get sore quickly. We’re both relatively inexperienced in this field, and he has a hard time articulating exactly what he wants me to do, and even when he can I have something of a hard time executing it because while the strap feels really good to wear, I can’t actually feel it :/ Cowgirl style has been fine, but he seems more interested in other positions, which I want to do as well, but like I said, it can be hard to do, as I often can’t maintain a position for long or the strap will slip out without me noticing. My hips are still sore from our last unsuccessful attempt. I’m struggling with this as it is frustrating not to be able to provide this particular facet of satisfaction to my partner, and it also aggravates some of my (usually minor) genital dysphoria. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!