I was seeing this guy since November & we had been texting non stop every day. We went on another date on Thursday & now he dumped me via text at 9pm on New Years Eve. I feel like shit. Why did he wait until now to tell me? He could have been honest on Friday instead of telling me that he enjoyed our last date as well. It just felt like a slap in the face. Great way to start the new year. Submitted January 01, 2023 at 01:15AM I was seeing this guy since November & we had been texting non stop every day. We went on another date on Thursday & now he dumped me via text at 9pm on New Years Eve. I feel like shit. Why did he wait until now to tell me? He could have been honest on Friday instead of telling me that he enjoyed our last date as well. It just felt like a slap in the face. Great way to start the new year.

As a straight guy I agree with this post a lot. I've always wished I was a sex-repulsed asexual. January 01, 2023 at 12:25AM

Dude im pretty sure you are on the wrong sub. January 01, 2023 at 12:24AM

I (19M) have been at uni since late September this year. When I got there, me and one of my 10 housemates (19F), call her M, seemed to hit it off nicely. We would play video games in the kitchen, sometimes just us late at night. We would lie side by side on the couch and do personality quizzes at the same time for fun (I'm an INFP, she's INTP, if that means anything). A month or so in she invited me to her room (not instigated by me) to watch her play games. Within the first few weeks she also talked to me a bit about how she finds in-person interaction difficult and how she is often emotionally detached from even people she cares about. About 2 weeks in we started watching Netflix on her laptop in her room (most nights a week). We'd watch for about an hour to three hours, depending how late it was. By this point I had realised I was interested in her romantically, and would (probably not as subtly as I thought) adjust myself so that our heads were close together. One tim...

to be fair i'm guilty of this. before i figured out i was ace i would think maybe if i lost weight and became really thin then someone would come along and love me and my life would be like all the other girs my age so i wouldn't be so behind and feel so out of place. this then developed into a full blown ed and even when i lost weight and was underweight my life was still the same. my weight was never the problem to begin with, no ones ever commented on it as ive always been a healthy weight. it's really sad looking back, i remember my reasons to lose weight being "get a boyfriend" "get invited to parties" "have loads of friends" "people finally being happy to see me" "not being seen as annoying anymore" etc etc but i think its all made sense now. ive never wanted to be in a relationship or have sex, i dont see the point and the whole friends thing, well i have social anxiety so thats my own problem i need to fix Dec...

It says I'm a sword ace. I do fencing, and own multiple historical swords. How does it know me so well? December 31, 2022 at 11:11PM

I am deeply attracted to older women and I wish I knew how to approach them without getting myself in danger. I find them better looking, they wear better clothes and nicer underwear than younger women, have better bodies too! I’m 30 and love the age of between (30-50) I would love a relationship with one, how would I go about it? Is there anyone with experience of older women and how they did it? Submitted December 31, 2022 at 01:16AM I am deeply attracted to older women and I wish I knew how to approach them without getting myself in danger. I find them better looking, they wear better clothes and nicer underwear than younger women, have better bodies too!I’m 30 and love the age of between (30-50)I would love a relationship with one, how would I go about it?Is there anyone with experience of older women and how they did it?

I'd honestly consider the use of a slur the biggest sign that this system is full of shit. December 31, 2022 at 12:06AM

I get what youre saying but just like all sexualities, asexuality will be about sexual attraction and not just general sexual desire. Sure, you may try things out to see whether or not you enjoy it but even if asexuals enjoy sex and maybe even desire it, doesnt mean they arent asexual. Asexuals could maybe like/want sex because e.g they enjoy the physical sensations better while still not being attracted to whoever theyre having sex with. Them not being attracted makes them asexual. There are quite a number of other reasons why someone would want sex besides sexual attraction. Its also about instuctual vs learned approach. Attraction should be instictual, it sort of "flares up" sexual desire (emotional arousal) even if the person had no knowlegde about sex and if its supposed to feel good. Asexual cannot in that regard experience sexual desire until they know its supposed to feel nice. December 31, 2022 at 12:06AM

whether you enjoy sex, which part specifically, with whom or your libido all don't matter towards being ace or not have you ever felt an urge to have sex with someone specific? (eg. your bf) December 31, 2022 at 12:05AM

They also used the r slur. December 31, 2022 at 12:05AM

Definitely, gross December 31, 2022 at 12:04AM

Someone I'm dating ended with me as they don't think they can date me as a poly human or be in a poly relationship. While the breakup was totally okay as in no bad blood, I cried a lot and we were both really kind to each other about it and its only been 6 weeks. Its left me wondering.. Did this person person just want exclusivity from me and could I offer that to them. Submitted December 31, 2022 at 12:03AM Someone I'm dating ended with me as they don't think they can date me as a poly human or be in a poly relationship. While the breakup was totally okay as in no bad blood, I cried a lot and we were both really kind to each other about it and its only been 6 weeks. Its left me wondering.. Did this person person just want exclusivity from me and could I offer that to them.

Has anyone with abandonment trauma been able to recover or find a partner who understands? Submitted December 30, 2022 at 01:13AM Has anyone with abandonment trauma been able to recover or find a partner who understands?

Ima flip the question. I don't understand why people care so much on how we identify our sexuality. Does it really bother you that a bunch of virgins (#notall), made a sexuality for themselves so they can potentially find other people who feel the same way? Like truly, why does us feeling little to no sexual attraction really bug you so much that you feel the need to argue with me that we don't exist? I'm not you, this is my life. Kindly, mind your own- to anyone who has done that. December 30, 2022 at 12:23AM

For all my issues with the guy, he literally is, and if he's the professor in the video OP is mentioning then he's also talking within his area of qualification. Jordan Peterson knows what he's talking about with psychology and he does give a lot of good general self-help advice, he just dresses it up in gender-essentialist pseudo-intellectualism that rubs a lot of people (myself included) the wrong way. Like all self-help advice, it communicates the same basic principals in a way that 'speaks to' some individuals and not others (in this case, some aimless young men and women [but mostly men] who identify strongly with their gender and benefit from having a clear map of how to perform it within society). He's just an idiot about everything else, and he has a habit of speaking as an expert on things he's not an expert on by drawing parallels to psychological concepts cherry-picked to support his philosophical beliefs and particular political agenda. It so...

I’ll try to make this short: I (33F) am struggling with feelings for two different men. I’ve been doing the dating thing, and over the last 2 weeks I’ve been torn between a man (34M) who lives in my neighborhood that I’ve been getting to know for a couple months and a man (33M) who just moved back to my hometown an hour away after 10+ years of living across the country. The 33M I’ve known since I was in middle school, and we used to have a thing for eachother, so we have history. While I was getting to know the 34M we stopped talking for 2 weeks because he didn’t want a relationship. During that two week period, the 33M had sent me a message saying he was back in town and was wondering if I wanted to catch up. I go see him and the sparks were instantly back. We ended up getting intimate and I told him I was looking for things to go into the direction of a relationship. Long story short, I realize I rushed him into something with me. A couple days after he and I were intimate and being...

This girl i’ve been talking to called me bro on a few occasions. Each time she apologized, said it felt weird, and said that she wasn’t going to say it again. I assume this means that she says it to others but didn’t want to say it to me, is there a meaning behind that? Submitted December 30, 2022 at 12:15AM This girl i’ve been talking to called me bro on a few occasions. Each time she apologized, said it felt weird, and said that she wasn’t going to say it again. I assume this means that she says it to others but didn’t want to say it to me, is there a meaning behind that?

I looked into aegoromanticism and it’s not a match, I am very into romantic stuff and I like being in a romantic relationship except for the sex part if I don’t have that strong connection yet. Aegosexuality does resonate with me a bit, though I do think that I want to participate in sexual stuff with a person I really trust. Ace-spike sounds like me but my situation is only towards one breathing person. Demi Ace-spike? Demi-aegosexual? December 29, 2022 at 11:21PM

I laughed just reading it December 29, 2022 at 12:42AM

Hi guys, I am really having a hard time contemplating whether or not to seek out dating given my current situation... Two years ago I had a serious heart problem and had to quit school for the entire year. Underwent multiple surgeries and such... This was for my junior year of high school, I lost that entire year and had to make up via online school. I am now at the point where I am about to finish the last semester of high school, however I still have to wait until next fall for college. I already mentioned I am almost 19, not in college, but also do not have a job. I would really like to hear your opinions on my problem. Also, I legally can't work because I am not a legal resident of the U.S. for the time being(no SSN). I should add I am obviously only interested in college girls. Submitted December 29, 2022 at 12:08AM Hi guys,I am really having a hard time contemplating whether or not to seek out dating given my current situation...Two years ago I had a serious hear...

So a little recap of how MM is to me. He's the guy every girl wants. When we met i wasn't over my toxic ex. But we clicked over our first convo. It was so unexpected. He was there for me as a friend. He helped me move on. Respected when i told him that I want to be in a relationship when i can give my 100% which isn't a month after i move on. He waited until i was ready and didn't make me feel guilty in the slightest that he was waiting for me. And things were never weird between us in that time too. He's so so good in the cars back seat ;). Respects that we're not going to take the last step anytime soon. Never complains. Tells me everyday that i am a queen and that he wants to marry me. Can't wait till our degrees are complete so we can get married. Respects my parents so much. When my sister caused trouble for us and i thought he'd leave, he fully supported me and stayed. He makes me smile every time I talk to him. He's my best friend.This is the...

Basically been texting a girl on Instagram and told her I was gonna send her a song I was working on, and if I could have her whatsapp to send it on. Basically messages went something like this: Her: send the song to me however u want, you’re the artist! Her: We all start somewhere, it doesn’t matter if the song isn’t that good Me: Love that positivity! Me: “[Inspirational quote from her instagram bio]” - a wise philosopher Me: I can send you the song on WhatsApp? She now just responded with the following: Her: 🥲🥲🥲 Her: Stop stalking ma profile you creep Her: Sure go ahead Her: [her phone number] Am I overthinking it? What should i respond with because now I feel really bad because I genuinely thought it was a good quote from her bio and don’t want to come across as a creep! I don’t even know if she’s still interested in me because for over a week she only responds after many many hours (she says she barely uses instagram anymore) and she messaged me a few days ago say...

I am an 18F that just wants to find the right guy. It’s hard my age because it seems like most guys my age just want that “one thing” from me and not a committed relationship. I would say previous experiences of most guys just seeking hookups from me has caused trust issues/ uncertainty for future partners I seek. Really making me question if I’ll ever find someone for me. What age have you met your partner? Or started your first serious relationship? Because I know age has a factor in guys just wanting hookups and not something serious, but I’m ready for them to get out of this stage!! Submitted December 29, 2022 at 12:13AM I am an 18F that just wants to find the right guy. It’s hard my age because it seems like most guys my age just want that “one thing” from me and not a committed relationship.I would say previous experiences of most guys just seeking hookups from me has caused trust issues/ uncertainty for future partners I seek. Really making me question if I’ll ever find...

Okay soooo.. I met this girl about a month and a half ago we spoke for alittle bit in person and really hit it off. I followed up a couple days later on Instagram and the conversation went extremely well. In this conversation she mentioned that she is really shy which was a surprise to me since she is really pretty. After about 3-4 days of conversation getting to know each other what not I asked her out, she said she would come but she’s really busy that weekend and followed up by telling me everything she had planned although she didn’t mention a reschedule (possibly the shyness). This is where it becomes so hard to read. After that situation of course the conversation slowly dies off as there’s no face to face interaction and we lose touch. She’s apart of the same local community I’m from so we have bumped into each other on several occasions. On both accounts it was hard to get a conversation going as it just wasn’t the right place or time so a kiss on the cheek and a hello how ...

Some think we are incels, but that is wrong at many levels... December 28, 2022 at 11:36PM

I started talking to a guy on Bumble just over a week ago and last week Thursday, we went on our first date. We’ve been in contact basically every day since we matched and are planning to see each other again for a museum and dinner date in a couple of days. I know it’s so so early but I cannot stop thinking about him. We’ve both expressed how we find each other attractive and how we both clearly like each other a lot. But I’m scared because I know I have gotten attached wayyy too quickly. I’m sick of counting down the days until I feel my feelings will be justified, you know? After our date, the plan is to go over to his and watch a movie. It will likely end up with me sleeping over (something we’ve discussed) but I do NOT plan to have sex with him. Would it be a good idea to discuss what our plans are moving forward this date or should I just let it be? I feel like there’s this weird tension hanging in the air which we have both noticed but none of us want to acknowledge. Any adv...

We've been on 4 dates and have been long distance 'dating' for a while now. He has told me that he will be back for NYE but hasn't mentioned plans yet. I'd like to spend NYE with him but don't want to come across as too much since New Year's can seem like a big deal to some people while early dating. Can anyone give me some tips on how to casually ask him to spend NYE with me without coming across too strong? Submitted December 28, 2022 at 01:15AM We've been on 4 dates and have been long distance 'dating' for a while now. He has told me that he will be back for NYE but hasn't mentioned plans yet.I'd like to spend NYE with him but don't want to come across as too much since New Year's can seem like a big deal to some people while early dating.Can anyone give me some tips on how to casually ask him to spend NYE with me without coming across too strong?

The only thing that cause cause sexual gratification is sex December 28, 2022 at 12:23AM

You literally are it's turning me you on December 28, 2022 at 12:22AM

Someone who doesn’t have any kinks of fetishes lol December 28, 2022 at 12:22AM

Like the title says we have been talking everyday for 2 months and it's going well. Neither of us really want to be in a relationship right now but she had mentioned that she could potentially want a fwb. I want to ask for nudes first and try to take it there but I don't want to ruin what we have right now. I really do enjoy talking to her and would consider dating her but I don't really want a full relationship right now and neither does she. Would politely asking if she would ever send nudes ruin what we have going? Submitted December 28, 2022 at 12:15AM Like the title says we have been talking everyday for 2 months and it's going well. Neither of us really want to be in a relationship right now but she had mentioned that she could potentially want a fwb. I want to ask for nudes first and try to take it there but I don't want to ruin what we have right now. I really do enjoy talking to her and would consider dating her but I don't really want a full rel...

Counterpoint: romantic ace December 27, 2022 at 01:22AM

Should I (19F) ghost this guy (20M) who I started texting bc I met him on Instagram. He asked me for my snap, and we have been texting on there for 3 days now, and we have been having really good conversations. So I asked him to text my number, because I literally never text on snap , literally only for him and he said, “ I hate texting.” I feel like he has a girlfriend because that’s super sneaky to me, like what’s the difference? Submitted December 27, 2022 at 01:12AM Should I (19F) ghost this guy (20M) who I started texting bc I met him on Instagram. He asked me for my snap, and we have been texting on there for 3 days now, and we have been having really good conversations. So I asked him to text my number, because I literally never text on snap , literally only for him and he said, “ I hate texting.” I feel like he has a girlfriend because that’s super sneaky to me, like what’s the difference?

This girl who I had a crush on during school but didn't go after her because she had a bf and I thought when we go to uni it be a clean break. Graduated from uni and I thought I reconnect with her, we only been talking through messenger but idk, how would I proceed forward? Submitted December 27, 2022 at 12:11AM This girl who I had a crush on during school but didn't go after her because she had a bf and I thought when we go to uni it be a clean break. Graduated from uni and I thought I reconnect with her, we only been talking through messenger but idk, how would I proceed forward?

i’ve known him for awhile but just recently have gotten closer to him and started developing a friendship with him. he relentlessly teases me all the time and tries to get a reaction out of me and he doesn’t act this way with anyone else that i’ve seen, with either girls or guys. he’s the type of guy that isn’t necessarily shy, but is reserved and keeps to himself, so i was shocked that he was so playful with me. even friends have said to me that they never see him act like that unless i’m around. there have also been moments where he’s been very sweet to me and compliments me which shocked some people too who had been around him quite a bit because i guess they never saw a side of him like that? i’ve definitely developed a bit of a crush, but i’m not sure if he teases me because he “sees me as one the guys” or because he likes me too. i know it’s not much to go off of, but what do you guys think? Submitted December 27, 2022 at 12:11AM i’ve known him for awhile but just recently...

I’ve (M24) with a girl (F22) for a couple months now. Asked her out after a 1.5 months a couple weeks ago. Things were going smoothly, no fightin, no arguing, nothing. and she came over for Christmas dinner yesterday with my fam and gave gifts to everyone. I’ve seen her parents and fam on FaceTime too. Today I was driving her home, used her phone maps, and all of the sudden there was a message from this guy that contained “blah blah blah 😘 …” on her phone. I said nothing until we got to her place. Then I asked her about it and that I wanted to see the convo. Normally I don’t ask but I feel like I have a right to when I see that to confirm there’s nothing else going on. She told me that’s her ex-coworker that was friends with everyone and sent every girl those kinds of messages. Well she refused to show me, instead she was trying to call that guy or her friend so they could explain the situation or something… I said no I want to see the convo and not talk to anyone. Then 30 mins goes...

St. Ace the Untemptable December 26, 2022 at 11:28PM

I was trying to only talk to one person at a time on the apps. However, I would get ghosted and it just didn't seem to be the "smart" thing to do. So I decided to just start talking to more guys. Over the past month, I've started significant conversations with 6 people and 3 ghosted me. Out of the remaining 3, I had a date with one of them and the other two have scheduled with me. I like this guy I went on a date with, but I know that people change their minds all the time, and I do too. It feels stupid to not talk to the other two, just because I had one good date with someone. However, I feel like if things do start to get more serious, I'm going to feel terrible I was talking/seeing other people during the talking stages. Since I would only end up with 1, I'd feel horrible if these other guys have been investing in me for like a month, only for me to leave. There just doesn't seem to be one good way to do things. If I was being completely selfish, ...

I’m asking Reddit for dating advice. Guess that’s my answer. Jokes aside, I can’t figure out why I’m still alone. I’m good looking, physically fit, financially stable, and have a good personality. I have plenty of attractive hobbies like learning new instruments and painting. I have dreams and passions. I’m going to make something of myself. Still, I can’t seem to find anyone. Some of my female friends have said that they would like to to date me if I wasn’t “me.” I can’t fathom what that means, but it feels disheartening. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing something wrong— like maybe I intimidate people with the way I speak. Maybe I’m just not warm enough. It could even just be circumstance. It feels like I’m doing everything right and still not succeeding. I think there must be something wrong with me that I haven’t figured out. Submitted December 26, 2022 at 01:16AM I’m asking Reddit for dating advice. Guess that’s my answer. Jokes aside, I can’t figure out why I’m still alone. ...

Not indifference so much as fully supportive of both December 26, 2022 at 12:34AM

That sounds like aceflux, perhaps? December 26, 2022 at 12:33AM

I feel like a crazy person, I feel like my brain isn’t on my side and won’t move on. I only dated this person for 5 months and I broke up with them twice during that span. They were great but my mind bombarded me with their negative qualities and I couldn’t mentally overcome it. That was over 2 years ago and I can’t stop thinking about them daily. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. It controls my mood and thoughts. It’s exhausting and I feel like a prisoner. I broke up with this person so I’m not sure why I can’t just let it go? I’ve been with other people since, I’ve journaled relentlessly, I’ve been to therapy, read up on mindfulness, read books on relationships, happiness, attachment, etc. Nothing seems to stop it. I’m defeated. Submitted December 26, 2022 at 12:06AM I feel like a crazy person, I feel like my brain isn’t on my side and won’t move on.I only dated this person for 5 months and I broke up...

I met the most amazing girl. We texted for 2 weeks, and then went on our first date in London. Crazy golf, food, and drinks. It was good. The next day we went on another date and slept together. Third date we went to a cinema and got physical there too. Fourth date we did an escape room, food, and back to her place to hookup the second and final time. We were texting each other pretty much every hour for 6 weeks, and went on 4 dates total. A few days after the 4th and final date she started pulling away. Her texts were few and far between. I knew something was up, and I made the mistake of trying to make up for it. I overwhelmed her with overcaring texts and she pulled away more. After a few more days I tried to arrange a fifth date, and she sent a long text explaining that she enjoyed our time but couldn't see us working in a relationship. It crushed me. We got on so well. We were there in text, on dates, and physically, but still it didn't work out. I didn't do anythin...

Aww so sorry to hear that! Hope your doing ok now. December 25, 2022 at 12:22AM

Seems like every single woman I talk to also has another 10 guys talking to her at the same time. What do I need to do to make myself a better option than those other guys? They seem just as qualified as I am, but clearly they are doing something which is getting women interested, that I am not. Submitted December 25, 2022 at 01:14AM Seems like every single woman I talk to also has another 10 guys talking to her at the same time. What do I need to do to make myself a better option than those other guys? They seem just as qualified as I am, but clearly they are doing something which is getting women interested, that I am not.

I (she/her 20) have been best friends with this guy (he/him 20) for over 8 years. At the start, I had a childhood crush on him but then it just grew into a friendship. We've been a constant in each other's lives: watching each other get in and out of relationships, going to college and helping each other through rough patches. Since the pandemic, we've been hanging out a lot more with different groups of friends. It's been fun! But the more I spend time with him, the more I'm developing deeper feelings. It's a feeling I have never felt with anyone else. Every moment with him just makes me feel content. I adore listening to his passions, thoughts on life and laughing at the stupidest shit. Needless to say, I have fell for him. Hard. (I could ramble about this but I'd like to keep this post short haha) I can't tell if he likes me that way or not. Our friend group has a lot of girls, so I cant tell if he is just being friendly. He has drunkenly said ...

Maybe dying during sex is a kink. Wouldn't be surprised lmao December 24, 2022 at 10:25PM

Sexual attraction is an influence, seeking sex is an action. You can seek sex because you feel sexual attraction, because you want to become or cause pregnancy, because it soothes your libido, or any other number of reasons. However, it doesn’t work the other way around. You can’t feel sexual attraction because you’re seeking sex. If they were the same thing, this wouldn’t be the case. Hope this helps 😊 December 24, 2022 at 10:25PM

HOW DO I SUMMON THEM December 24, 2022 at 10:23PM

My [27F] boyfriend [31M] and I have been together 3 months. All has been going great, I am infatuated with this man. I am, however, starting to struggle with his past. He has had 2 past serious relationships. With his first ex, they had a house together, and with his second (most recent), they lived together and were engaged. They ended up ending things because of something my boyfriend did — which I won’t get into, but he has been very upfront and open with me about his actions, so that isn’t my concern here. I’m starting to struggle with the idea that he was engaged to his most recent ex. The thought that he knew he wanted to spend his life with her and that the reason it ended was because he screwed up — if he hadn’t, he’d be happily with her still, wouldn’t he? I’m terrified of being a back up, or that he still loves her and that I won’t compare to what they had. I’ve only had one relationship prior to him, so the thought of being engaged to someone — even living with my partner ...

This is based on post I’ve seen here where women are wondering how to get men who have actual interest in them, and most of the responses are just centered around lowering your standards for looks and other such things. Well! I’ve tried dating men who I wasn’t physically attracted to and it was very fun. A lot of them treat you the same as the attractive men do. There’s no difference in treatment whatsoever. Occasionally these men are more ready and able to commit but there are also instances where they play the same games as the attractive men. It’s also not fair to them. Like I dated one guy that I couldn’t even stand to kiss. It didn’t help my friends and family would comment negatively on my dating partner’s appearance. No one should be in a partnership with someone they aren’t attracted to. I agree we should be realistic with our standards but I would at least like to be with someone I’m physically attracted to! I don’t think I’m aiming too high either. I’m not asking for a 6’5...

Well, you are not obliged to. It's up to you if you want to come out or not. December 24, 2022 at 12:33AM

Hello. I have a crush on this girl. She was looking to hook up with me a long time ago but I wanted to date her, to which she declined saying she had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to be single. Specifying she didn't wanna date anybody in general, she hasn’t dated anybody since so I don’t believe she was lying to make me feel better. We're still friends and she acts in a pretty flirtatious way to me occasionally so I don't believe it's something completely out of the question when she's ready. Recently she started chatting with an old friend. In general she gives me a lot of attention but on one platform (Bereal) she is constantly commenting on this guys posts and reacting to them more than mine and it makes me extremely jealous and paranoid. It's not overtly flirtatious but it's friendly and playful and seriously gets to me. I don't wanna be like this, we're not dating or anything and she can talk to anyone she wants but despite her ...

Yes, I'm a nonbinary guy as well as aroace, I firmly feel like I'm part of the GRSM/LGBT community December 23, 2022 at 11:37PM

We need more POC ace rep. I love to see it December 23, 2022 at 11:35PM

Orange juice with pulp December 23, 2022 at 01:39AM

I (24F) am dating again for the first time in a long time. My prior experiences with sex are all from when I was 18/19 years old, and were pretty casual. It was basically just me mindlessly or drunkenly hooking up with people from parties, and I never saw any of them more than once. It was fun, but I pretty much just rushed through it and followed the man’s lead. I have in the past year been exploring my own sexuality and can bring myself to orgasm easily, and overall I feel much more comfortable with my body. I just started seeing someone new and for the first time I am being faced with potential intimacy with someone who I care about. I am having a whole lot of trouble getting out of my head and enjoying the experience. We haven’t had sex yet but it’s gotten close, and I feel almost a sense of dread and panic about it, even though I’m very attracted to him and really enjoying our time together. I am realizing that I don’t truly feel sexy or lovable. Any advice for how to become more...

The Big Short is a fantastic biopic about the 2007-09 housing market crash and what caused the recession. Sure, it does have Margot Robbie naked in a bubble bath, but she's explaining how the housing bubble formed. Sure, there is a scene with a stripper in a strip club, but the guy she's with is only paying her to tell him about her mortgage and is complaining about the loud music and trying to get her stop dancing. But there's no sex. December 23, 2022 at 12:32AM

I’m 28F, he’s 28M. We started off as friends and became really close. Three years ago, his fiancé, unfortunately took her own life. (Do not ask why). But I know he carries that guilt with him and he has ever since. He hasn’t had anyone in his life romantically ever since because he feels shame & that it’s like cheating on her in a way. He’s battling the need to move on and move forward, but his habits keep him back. We started to bloom into more than friends, somehow, for about a month. I am a lover of all things beautiful in the world, I love poetry and romcoms. I’m very compassionate, and I try to find the beauty in everyone. He makes fun of me for loving fairytales and romcoms. But he was that guy before… he did have it in him. As things started to progress between us, he gets very uncomfortable talking about real feelings. If I try to jokingly make any kind of moment that would resemble a romcom at all, or any kind of sappy romance, he gets irritated. I’m not trying to upse...

Hey I just got off the phone for the first time with a girl I’ve been talking to for a few weeks over texting. We would’ve talked sooner but have both been busy. Anyways during the call, she seemed very interested and friendly and I could sense that she was also nervous. I noticed 2 big things. She worked my name in occasionally to the conversation. She didn’t ask any questions really. For number 1, I felt bad because not once did I say her name at all and I feel like she was showing interest here and I unintentionally didn’t reciprocate . For number 2, I did the majority of the talking. I asked her questions and would listen keenly. Sometimes when I thought she was done (long pause), I’d talk but she would start at the same time. Whoops! Also I’d comment on her responses and she would respond to my responses and it flowed but during any pauses she didn’t initiate a new topic or didn’t ask questions back. I even joked about hoping I didn’t talk her ear off and she said I wa...

Very pretty. December 22, 2022 at 01:15AM

I once had a girl call me at 2am telling me they were soaking wet. I just looked at the phone, told her it was 2am, not to call me so late, then hung up. December 22, 2022 at 01:13AM

i’m 18f but i don’t think i’ll ever get a bf during college ( anxiety and family religious issues ) maybe when i’m older i’ll want to. but i don’t want to have my first ever date when i’m 22+ since it seems like too late to start the process.. and 22+ is apparently past a woman’s prime, i don’t want to be old and dating.. Submitted December 22, 2022 at 01:11AM i’m 18f but i don’t think i’ll ever get a bf during college ( anxiety and family religious issues )maybe when i’m older i’ll want to. but i don’t want to have my first ever date when i’m 22+ since it seems like too late to start the process.. and 22+ is apparently past a woman’s prime, i don’t want to be old and dating..

I did it over text so idk how he’s feeling. And I’m not talking in person. I already told him the reason when I said it (that I don’t see us moving forward) but he’s saying he’s confused. He said “what? You really mean that? I’m confused” I explained really simply. Just a sentence. But I already know he’s gonna be like “why?” Or “okay so what should I do?” I told him that I mean it but only like 50% so I’m hoping he fixes things… but idk. Idk what he even means by “do you really mean that?” I feel like he’s trying to make me stay and think it over… but maybe that’s just me overthinking. Btw, it’s the same person from my other posts Submitted December 22, 2022 at 12:15AM I did it over text so idk how he’s feeling. And I’m not talking in person. I already told him the reason when I said it (that I don’t see us moving forward) but he’s saying he’s confused. He said “what? You really mean that? I’m confused” I explained really simply. Just a sentence. But I already know he’s gonna...

Sex-repulsed aroace here, and no, I had a super strong urge to have children. So much so, that it consumed my thoughts and emotions for years and years, until I had my son using a donor. Since having that first child I've had no more desire for more children, but that is unrelated to my asexuality. December 21, 2022 at 11:25PM

THANK YOU I was so confused December 21, 2022 at 11:25PM

So I'm going to try to keep this short. This is my first time meeting someone off a dating app. It's not their first time though. I've been alone and single for over the past year. I stopped drinking and faced some bad trauma I was hiding relating to being used sexually. I've l hung out with this person 3 times now and they keep telling me they really like me. Which freaks me out because I feel like people need more time to get to know one another. On our second date we tried to have sex. I had a panic attack and basically was holding back tears. (We were drinking) They stopped right away and gave me space. Wanted me to stay the night and talk about it. After that date they still want to see me.... This person seems like a player though, handsome, talks about how he's dated Instagram models (but that they are mean on the inside). They tell me that they like "nice girls" and that they are usually into heavy people (I'm not that kind of heavy). But...

The edit does help with more info. I respect you trying to save things. Still, I don’t think any of us can really give you an answer. Could she be? She could, it could also be something completely different. Have you tried something like couples counseling? It really sounds like you need someone like that to work with both of you to find out what’s really going on. December 21, 2022 at 12:42AM

"If someone watches The Room by Tommy Wiseau it's because they have no taste in movies" is exactly what you sound like. December 21, 2022 at 12:40AM

What is sad is that a guy who loves his wife. Has a beautiful 18 month baby girl and a home he has worked his ass off to provide for his family. Is here literally begging for some suggestions because his marriage is falling apart, and all i get is berated. It's very easy to tell that some of the responses are dripping with the posters own historical trauma. But i am not your past parter. I'm a genuine guy sincerely trying to keep his marriage together. I don't want to collect my daughter every weekend from a petrol station because i didn't try everything possible. I don't understand what it is you want from us. Say she is asexual, then what? How will that magically fix your marriage. Will you then understand you aren't sexually compatible, (finally) accept it and live happily ever after? December 21, 2022 at 12:37AM

Just curious… why do most guys retreat and internalize if they get stressed? My boyfriend goes silent for days and won’t answer texts or calls if he is stressed. I have communicated with him about him just letting me know he’s okay because he has a very high risk job, but I may as well not exist for a week and then he reaches out like no silence ever occurred. It is very frustrating. Submitted December 21, 2022 at 12:06AM Just curious… why do most guys retreat and internalize if they get stressed? My boyfriend goes silent for days and won’t answer texts or calls if he is stressed. I have communicated with him about him just letting me know he’s okay because he has a very high risk job, but I may as well not exist for a week and then he reaches out like no silence ever occurred. It is very frustrating.

I just graduated college and am a single guy and have gone out a few times with friends. I think it’s safe to say that people go to bars to be social, meet people, make friends and potentially meet a special someone. I noticed sometimes there can be a bit of misunderstanding when someone is looking for something beyond a conversation. For example when I had this idea in a bar there was a girl who had talked to probably 10 guys but her roommate ended up telling me she had a boyfriend. This is completely fine and a woman should be able to do what she wants but this is where the idea sparked What if bars sold bracelets that would light up and you can press a button and the color changes and each color is relating to your status. The two basic colors would be Red means taken, green could mean single open to a conversation. There could also be a few colors and the band of the bracelet could be the bar’s name/design. I know there’s some drawbacks like if a girl has green men can potentia...

I'm worried for you friend <3 Take care of yourself - your boyfriend shouldn't be pressuring you to have sex with any one if you don't want to December 20, 2022 at 12:52AM

i’m in HS, and because of covid i have had absolutely no way to learn how to go about flirting/dating/anything romantic-y IRL. now for my current predicament: there is a guy at my school that i have a semi-crush on, but i’ve never spoken to him before. we run slightly in the same circles (his best friend’s sister is friends with one of my close friends, if that makes sense) and follow each other on instagram, but i don’t know if he really knows who i am. i’ve caught him looking at me in the hallways/at school events, but i don’t super know what that means. i want to get to know him. how do i do that? i was thinking i could DM him a joke or a question or something, but i don’t know if that would creep him out, seeing as it’d be coming from someone that he only had a vague notion of. at this point, i’m shooting for the friend zone. any help is appreciated. Submitted December 20, 2022 at 01:14AM i’m in HS, and because of covid i have had absolutely no way to learn how to go abou...

I broke things off bc he couldn't get it up. I feel really bad about it but hear me out. The first two relationships I'd been in that I'd been intimate with, the sex itself didn't go well. Like ever. The first guy was too big and inexperienced (like me at the time) so it made me very weary of having my cervix smashed. The second relationship was kinda like trying to have sex with a baby carrot that continously disappointed you. Emotionally I felt very strongly for these relationships but was not having fun sexually. My previous "arrangement", it was great. Fantastic. Everything about the sex was perfect and he really knew how to take control and that's what I liked. But outside of the sex he was a straight bastard who would send me mixed signals and treated me like I meant nothing to him. (I got sick of it and ended things, he still didn't care lol). I was um touched as a child and it's made intimacy kinda awkward and difficult for me, I've b...