How to be more comfortable with intimacy and vulnerability?

I (24F) am dating again for the first time in a long time. My prior experiences with sex are all from when I was 18/19 years old, and were pretty casual. It was basically just me mindlessly or drunkenly hooking up with people from parties, and I never saw any of them more than once. It was fun, but I pretty much just rushed through it and followed the man’s lead. I have in the past year been exploring my own sexuality and can bring myself to orgasm easily, and overall I feel much more comfortable with my body. I just started seeing someone new and for the first time I am being faced with potential intimacy with someone who I care about. I am having a whole lot of trouble getting out of my head and enjoying the experience. We haven’t had sex yet but it’s gotten close, and I feel almost a sense of dread and panic about it, even though I’m very attracted to him and really enjoying our time together. I am realizing that I don’t truly feel sexy or lovable. Any advice for how to become more comfortable with this kind of intimacy and vulnerability? I feel like I’m going to fuck up this new relationship.



Submitted December 23, 2022 at 12:17AM

I (24F) am dating again for the first time in a long time. My prior experiences with sex are all from when I was 18/19 years old, and were pretty casual. It was basically just me mindlessly or drunkenly hooking up with people from parties, and I never saw any of them more than once. It was fun, but I pretty much just rushed through it and followed the man’s lead. I have in the past year been exploring my own sexuality and can bring myself to orgasm easily, and overall I feel much more comfortable with my body. I just started seeing someone new and for the first time I am being faced with potential intimacy with someone who I care about. I am having a whole lot of trouble getting out of my head and enjoying the experience. We haven’t had sex yet but it’s gotten close, and I feel almost a sense of dread and panic about it, even though I’m very attracted to him and really enjoying our time together. I am realizing that I don’t truly feel sexy or lovable. Any advice for how to become more comfortable with this kind of intimacy and vulnerability? I feel like I’m going to fuck up this new relationship.
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