Can this be salvaged?

I’ll try to make this short: I (33F) am struggling with feelings for two different men. I’ve been doing the dating thing, and over the last 2 weeks I’ve been torn between a man (34M) who lives in my neighborhood that I’ve been getting to know for a couple months and a man (33M) who just moved back to my hometown an hour away after 10+ years of living across the country. The 33M I’ve known since I was in middle school, and we used to have a thing for eachother, so we have history. While I was getting to know the 34M we stopped talking for 2 weeks because he didn’t want a relationship. During that two week period, the 33M had sent me a message saying he was back in town and was wondering if I wanted to catch up. I go see him and the sparks were instantly back. We ended up getting intimate and I told him I was looking for things to go into the direction of a relationship. Long story short, I realize I rushed him into something with me. A couple days after he and I were intimate and being in this new relationship I get a text from 34M (late at night, mind you, which is always when he reaches out) saying he was sorry and wanted to make it up to me, that he liked me and wanted something with me. I was so torn, but decided I’d go with 34M because my heart was still in it with him and there was unfinished business. Before I did anything, I asked 33M if he was feeling rushed and would be ok with scaling back to casual, and he was fine with that. Started hanging out with 34M and felt so weird about talking to two guys at once..asked him what our situation was and he said “casual relationship that was monogamous”. So I broke it to 33M that I couldn’t see him anymore because I had unfinished business to tend to. He seemed hurt, but didn’t say much. It turns out 34M hasn’t really turned a corner with his relationship goals.. he’s just been booty calling and acting super cold. All my friends are saying I need to chill and not talk to either guy for a while, but I really want to make amends with the 33M. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible in this whole process, but I need some perspective on what would be the next right thing….

Submitted December 29, 2022 at 10:48PM

I’ll try to make this short: I (33F) am struggling with feelings for two different men. I’ve been doing the dating thing, and over the last 2 weeks I’ve been torn between a man (34M) who lives in my neighborhood that I’ve been getting to know for a couple months and a man (33M) who just moved back to my hometown an hour away after 10+ years of living across the country. The 33M I’ve known since I was in middle school, and we used to have a thing for eachother, so we have history. While I was getting to know the 34M we stopped talking for 2 weeks because he didn’t want a relationship. During that two week period, the 33M had sent me a message saying he was back in town and was wondering if I wanted to catch up. I go see him and the sparks were instantly back. We ended up getting intimate and I told him I was looking for things to go into the direction of a relationship. Long story short, I realize I rushed him into something with me. A couple days after he and I were intimate and being in this new relationship I get a text from 34M (late at night, mind you, which is always when he reaches out) saying he was sorry and wanted to make it up to me, that he liked me and wanted something with me. I was so torn, but decided I’d go with 34M because my heart was still in it with him and there was unfinished business. Before I did anything, I asked 33M if he was feeling rushed and would be ok with scaling back to casual, and he was fine with that. Started hanging out with 34M and felt so weird about talking to two guys at once..asked him what our situation was and he said “casual relationship that was monogamous”. So I broke it to 33M that I couldn’t see him anymore because I had unfinished business to tend to. He seemed hurt, but didn’t say much. It turns out 34M hasn’t really turned a corner with his relationship goals.. he’s just been booty calling and acting super cold. All my friends are saying I need to chill and not talk to either guy for a while, but I really want to make amends with the 33M. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible in this whole process, but I need some perspective on what would be the next right thing….