I [28F] feel forced by continually flaky people on apps into dating multiple people at the same time, but it goes against my values. What do I do?

I was trying to only talk to one person at a time on the apps. However, I would get ghosted and it just didn't seem to be the "smart" thing to do.

So I decided to just start talking to more guys. Over the past month, I've started significant conversations with 6 people and 3 ghosted me. Out of the remaining 3, I had a date with one of them and the other two have scheduled with me.

I like this guy I went on a date with, but I know that people change their minds all the time, and I do too. It feels stupid to not talk to the other two, just because I had one good date with someone.

However, I feel like if things do start to get more serious, I'm going to feel terrible I was talking/seeing other people during the talking stages. Since I would only end up with 1, I'd feel horrible if these other guys have been investing in me for like a month, only for me to leave.

There just doesn't seem to be one good way to do things. If I was being completely selfish, yes, I would date all three until one asked to be exclusive, but that could take months. It's also... not at all who I am and I feel like a fraud a little. I understand that men do this too, but it's just not what I'm personally comfortable with and I don't want to start a meaningful connection with someone like that. No idea what to do.

Btw, I don't plan on sleeping with all these guys btw. I'm sexually monogamous. I just don't know how to handle the initial talking stage if it's multiple dudes.

Advice??



Submitted December 26, 2022 at 01:03AM

I was trying to only talk to one person at a time on the apps. However, I would get ghosted and it just didn't seem to be the "smart" thing to do.So I decided to just start talking to more guys. Over the past month, I've started significant conversations with 6 people and 3 ghosted me. Out of the remaining 3, I had a date with one of them and the other two have scheduled with me.I like this guy I went on a date with, but I know that people change their minds all the time, and I do too. It feels stupid to not talk to the other two, just because I had one good date with someone.However, I feel like if things do start to get more serious, I'm going to feel terrible I was talking/seeing other people during the talking stages. Since I would only end up with 1, I'd feel horrible if these other guys have been investing in me for like a month, only for me to leave.There just doesn't seem to be one good way to do things. If I was being completely selfish, yes, I would date all three until one asked to be exclusive, but that could take months. It's also... not at all who I am and I feel like a fraud a little. I understand that men do this too, but it's just not what I'm personally comfortable with and I don't want to start a meaningful connection with someone like that. No idea what to do.Btw, I don't plan on sleeping with all these guys btw. I'm sexually monogamous. I just don't know how to handle the initial talking stage if it's multiple dudes.Advice??
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