are these red flags?

So I'm going to try to keep this short.

This is my first time meeting someone off a dating app. It's not their first time though.

I've been alone and single for over the past year. I stopped drinking and faced some bad trauma I was hiding relating to being used sexually.

I've l hung out with this person 3 times now and they keep telling me they really like me. Which freaks me out because I feel like people need more time to get to know one another.

On our second date we tried to have sex. I had a panic attack and basically was holding back tears. (We were drinking) They stopped right away and gave me space. Wanted me to stay the night and talk about it. After that date they still want to see me....

This person seems like a player though, handsome, talks about how he's dated Instagram models (but that they are mean on the inside). They tell me that they like "nice girls" and that they are usually into heavy people (I'm not that kind of heavy). But apparently they are looking for something more serious.

Last night they told me they were seeing someone else from the dating app but it fizzeled out. They mentioned how they were glad it did because they didn't know how to tell me about it. Also last night, I found another person's pubic hair on the couch and a long hair in the bathroom (not mine or theirs, no roommates).

They are respecting my space so far though (regarding sex) but they keep wanting to see me. Like visit me at work. And I think it bothers them I am still on the dating app (they did not pressure me to delete it though).

I don't get how someone could "really like" someone after only meeting them 3 times. I'm nervous they are using me and it's freaking me out. What do you think?

Submitted December 21, 2022 at 01:16AM

So I'm going to try to keep this short.This is my first time meeting someone off a dating app. It's not their first time though.I've been alone and single for over the past year. I stopped drinking and faced some bad trauma I was hiding relating to being used sexually.I've l hung out with this person 3 times now and they keep telling me they really like me. Which freaks me out because I feel like people need more time to get to know one another.On our second date we tried to have sex. I had a panic attack and basically was holding back tears. (We were drinking) They stopped right away and gave me space. Wanted me to stay the night and talk about it. After that date they still want to see me....This person seems like a player though, handsome, talks about how he's dated Instagram models (but that they are mean on the inside). They tell me that they like "nice girls" and that they are usually into heavy people (I'm not that kind of heavy). But apparently they are looking for something more serious.Last night they told me they were seeing someone else from the dating app but it fizzeled out. They mentioned how they were glad it did because they didn't know how to tell me about it. Also last night, I found another person's pubic hair on the couch and a long hair in the bathroom (not mine or theirs, no roommates).They are respecting my space so far though (regarding sex) but they keep wanting to see me. Like visit me at work. And I think it bothers them I am still on the dating app (they did not pressure me to delete it though).I don't get how someone could "really like" someone after only meeting them 3 times. I'm nervous they are using me and it's freaking me out. What do you think?