To me, the thought of having sex always felt, for lack of a better word, unnatural. I couldn’t imagine myself trying it, much less enjoying it. When I was asked to go to an end-of-school dance by a girl I didn’t dislike (but with whom my relationship I considered strictly platonic), I sort of just changed the subject, because I didn’t want to have a relationship that anything more than a friendship. That was when I was 15. I’m 23 now and I consider that to be the first sign of my asexuality that I can at least remember, as that feeling never left. I could never get into porn, either. I’ve tried watching videos in the past, searching for things I figured I would have a chance of enjoying, but it always felt weird that people could actually like what I was seeing. I ended skipping through most of it and looking at random details to scrutinise out of either distraction or boredom. Whenever anyone talks about finding someone sexy, or about anticipating/wanting to have sex with someone, ...

Pretty much the title, I’m being dumb and can’t tell. I’m 24F, she’s 30F. It was intense while it lasted but we are not close friends and have kept in touch since last year, but at a polite distance and only once in a blue moon/over text. Submitted December 01, 2022 at 02:14AM Pretty much the title, I’m being dumb and can’t tell. I’m 24F, she’s 30F.It was intense while it lasted but we are not close friends and have kept in touch since last year, but at a polite distance and only once in a blue moon/over text.

I've been seeing this girl long distance for half a year now. I'm 31, she's 26. She told me quite early on that she had two serious relationships before. One when she was a teenager, and one only a few years ago. This last boyfriend, she was together with for 2-3 years or something. Last time i visited her, around a month ago, we talked about exclusivity, and at that point she told me that she had some issues with trusting guys, and it had mainly to do with the fact that her previous boyfriend cheated on her. She said that he had cheated very early on in the relationship and lied to her about it for probably almost two years or something (don't know the exact details). She said she gave him several chances of coming clean, but he didn't until she finally confronted him. She told me about how angry it made her (she's a very calm and shy person). She told me that she wanted me to be completely honest with her, and that i had to tell her if i was hiding something...

Well respected sex-researcher has an ama - check out her top comment (and no, don't look at the downvoted comments) December 01, 2022 at 12:40AM

I’ve been talking to this girl for three months and we’ve gone on a handful of dates. I really enjoy her company and I could see myself in a relationship with her. However, she’s recently started to become less engaged and less responsive (it feels like she’s olaying games). I don’t want to appear needy or smother her. So would it be wrong for me leave her on read when I have nothing to say? Could that inadvertently spike her interest level? Submitted December 01, 2022 at 12:10AM I’ve been talking to this girl for three months and we’ve gone on a handful of dates. I really enjoy her company and I could see myself in a relationship with her. However, she’s recently started to become less engaged and less responsive (it feels like she’s olaying games). I don’t want to appear needy or smother her. So would it be wrong for me leave her on read when I have nothing to say? Could that inadvertently spike her interest level?

Cupiosexual November 30, 2022 at 01:32AM

So I have been struggling with this mentally as of late and feel like typing it out, if nothing else I’ll at least be able to get it out of my system. So I matched with this girl on tinder a few months ago, we both go to the same university. We talked for about a month, perhaps a little more before actually meeting up. It just never worked out with timing and vacations and such, nonetheless when we did hang out it was really fun. We watched movies, talked, and made out in the end. I feel like we had a genuine connection, which I don’t think I’ve had with a girl yet, and it made me feel really warm inside. That was around 3 weeks ago, and since then we hung out once more and then went on vacation which we just got back from. While on vaca we texted back and forth, some days more than others cause she isn’t a great texter which is okay. We also FaceTimed once throughout the week. So there are key points of why I’m worried about this. The first is that I know we aren’t technically excl...

What is QPR? I’m intrigued November 30, 2022 at 12:44AM

i matched with this boy on tinder today and he messaged first and was pretty nice. i’m trans and it says it in my bio and he shockingly asked if i’ve started hrt yet. a man has never asked me that before so it was pleasant for someone to care about something like that but also a small red flag to me for some reason. we were talking more about my transition but then i decided to check his instagram and he follows a ton of porn actresses and girls with onlyfans. now i’m definitely supportive of sex workers and don’t hold anything against pornography but this definitely made me apprehensive to continue conversation… and for a straight man like him to know about hrt tells me he might look at trans women as porn categorey like a lot of them do… am i overthinking?? Submitted November 30, 2022 at 12:16AM i matched with this boy on tinder today and he messaged first and was pretty nice. i’m trans and it says it in my bio and he shockingly asked if i’ve started hrt yet. a man has never a...

For sure that makes sense! Maybe I’ll just come out individually to some of my family so they don’t feel like out of the loop and just come out to my friends when it naturally comes up November 29, 2022 at 11:30PM

What age should I be dating. I am 35 year old male. Should I date older than me or younger? Submitted November 29, 2022 at 01:15AM What age should I be dating. I am 35 year old male. Should I date older than me or younger?

Welp, this isn't a place to make jokes I see. My bad. November 29, 2022 at 12:09AM

I always thought aroaces have spades because the tip of the spade looks like a black, upside down heart (with a stick through it), so it's like the opposite of romance. That's how I always saw it. November 29, 2022 at 12:09AM

I think the good ones rely less in lust. Once I heard some guy talking to his friends about his gf saying "dude I don't even want to fuck her I just want to make her happy". And they are still together and happy after many years. I think, in general, love wins over in good healthy relationships and lust less so? Idk. As personal experience lust for me is one more need that feels good to take care of from time to time, like a vampire that doesn't need to sleep but still likes to do it because of the dreams and because it feels nice. So I don't have a context for relying on lust. On love yes. November 29, 2022 at 12:08AM

So about a year ago I finally realized my partner of 11 years was a toxic shitty person and ended it. I spent a year by myself starting grad school, losing weight, working on self improvement. I realized recently that I want to start dating again, but I’ve never dated before. I start dating my partner as a teenager, (i’m 28F) so I don’t really know how any of this works. When I ask around everyone says they either met in college or on a dating app. I don’t feel great about apps, I feel like I have a RBF in all my pictures, and every interaction I’ve had is just like sex please? (I’m up for casual sex, but I need to meet someone first before I know I want that). I don’t know if I want a relationship yet, but I do want to date around and see what’s out there. I’ll take any and all advice, I have no idea what I’m doing. Submitted November 29, 2022 at 12:15AM So about a year ago I finally realized my partner of 11 years was a toxic shitty person and ended it. I spent a year by mysel...

You're welcome! 💜 November 28, 2022 at 11:26PM

Some friend groups are like this. They're just very immature and have sex on their mind WAY too often. November 28, 2022 at 01:35AM

It may be alterous attraction. Doesn’t make you any less ace. You might want to look into queerplatonic relationships and ask her about them. It might be the type of relationship you want to pursue. She may not reciprocate, but human relationships are messy like that. November 28, 2022 at 01:32AM

I know that there isn't really any sign a girl likes you that is basically confirmation, other than her telling you that she does. But what are some signs that make it very unlikely that she is just being friendly, signs that you can be pretty confident means she likes you. Submitted November 28, 2022 at 01:09AM I know that there isn't really any sign a girl likes you that is basically confirmation, other than her telling you that she does. But what are some signs that make it very unlikely that she is just being friendly, signs that you can be pretty confident means she likes you.

I (F21) and someone (M25) have a date 6 days away. We met in person at an event last Friday and we were both attracted to each other and connected. We met again the next day (last Saturday) and our connection was even better. We planned the date for next Saturday but haven’t been talking as much this whole time. I’m afraid he is losing interest but don’t want to overthink it. I’ve heard some people say it’s a red flag to not talk as much before the first date while others have said the complete opposite. What is the appropriate amount of times one should communicate before a first date? I’m very new to the dating scene. Thanks! Submitted November 28, 2022 at 01:12AM I (F21) and someone (M25) have a date 6 days away. We met in person at an event last Friday and we were both attracted to each other and connected. We met again the next day (last Saturday) and our connection was even better. We planned the date for next Saturday but haven’t been talking as much this whole time. I’m ...

brains just be like that, dont think about it too much. youre still a very valid ace November 28, 2022 at 12:45AM

I went on a coffee date today with a girl I met from Hinge. I thought the date went great; conversation was very natural with no awkward pauses and she complimented me on some of my physical features (i.e., that I had nice skin and told me I look like an actor who is attractive). The whole date was about 2ish hours. The ending of the date was a little awkward after I walked her to her car; it seemed like we both wanted to hug each other but no one knew how to make the move. She told me it was nice meeting me and that we should try to get dinner this week once she checks her schedule. She texted me again about 30 minutes later that it was nice meeting me and thanked me for the coffee. I brought up that I had a nice time and about going to this restaurant we discussed on our date. She said that she would check her schedule tomorrow and see if there was a good day. Thoughts? I think I might be over thinking it and should just wait and see lol. TIA! Submitted November 28, 2022 at ...

I've been best friends with this guy for 7+ years. I truly have the best time with him and we have an amazing friendship. My family loves him and they always make comments about wanting me to go for it. He gets along great with my nieces, my parents, my siblings and everyone. But I'm scared of going for it, things not working out, & then losing a really great friend. I value our friendship so much I don't want to risk it. Should I just go for it? If I do go for it, how do I go about that? We've only ever been strictly friends. It's not something that really gets brought up. But i feel like if he knew I was interested he would be too. Idk. Help. Submitted November 27, 2022 at 12:52AM I've been best friends with this guy for 7+ years. I truly have the best time with him and we have an amazing friendship. My family loves him and they always make comments about wanting me to go for it. He gets along great with my nieces, my parents, my siblings and ever...

My coworker recently asked for my phone number he is 22 and I am 21. I had thought he was attractive for a while so I was excited when he did. We texted normal for a couple of days and all of a sudden he seems disinterested he replied to my text with a like (the feature on iOS) and it was a message that warranted a response. I don’t understand why would he go through the trouble of asking for my number then acting uninterested? I will add that when we texted we took a while to respond to each other, the kind of thing u do to not seem too desperate when pursuing someone new. Submitted November 27, 2022 at 01:11AM My coworker recently asked for my phone number he is 22 and I am 21. I had thought he was attractive for a while so I was excited when he did. We texted normal for a couple of days and all of a sudden he seems disinterested he replied to my text with a like (the feature on iOS) and it was a message that warranted a response. I don’t understand why would he go through the...

I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this month and realized I cannot do casual sex. I end up always getting emotionally attached and develop these needs like getting upset if I don’t get a reply for awhile but see him being active on Instagram. For background: I 24F and 26M have been flirty talking for a few months. We were planning on meeting sometime this month to see each other again and hookup. Now I’m not one to shy away with talking about sex or dirty talking. I’m normally never ashamed of that either. But I’m trying to break my old habits with him because I want him to take me seriously. And I’m one to get attached too fast (I am working on it). I want to see him this month and I do want to have sex with him but only if I know he takes me more seriously. I’m trying to improve myself and create boundaries. But I feel like a hypocrite if I bring this up. I feel like I’ll be acting too serious. I haven’t seen him in two years and I do like him which is why I hope he does...

i just saw your post about some dude calling you “straight lite” and i hate that this needs to be said but you are fucking VALID. if you are aspec, you are aspec and nothing people say can stop that from being the truth. Have fun, be nice, and eat some garlic bread. November 27, 2022 at 12:32AM

Nice or fun shirt paired with pants, footwear of your choosing, and add some jewelry bling if you're into that! Makeup is NOT required, and neither are dresses. I've started doing the above for weddings. Also a suit is very acceptable! November 27, 2022 at 12:30AM

So i was at this party with a bunch of my friends, but there were a few people i didn't know. One of these people was this girl. We were all just having a good time and sat talking around the table, playing games etc, so i didn't really talk that much with her 1 on 1. But she seems very sweet and nice etc etc and theres just something about her i really liked. I kinda got the feeling she might be eyeing me too cuz i felt she was looking at me a lot. When i talked to her or she said something, or if anyone said something funny, i tried looking at her and smile (which sounds kinda weird, but i dont think it was), just to like laugh with her if that makes sense, to show i was interested in her i guess. But at the same time im very insecure and such so theres no chance i would like ask for her number or anything, especially since there wasnt a point there werent like 5 other friends around. Anyways, the party ended and she was headed home so was i, and i never got her number or a...

I honestly get more extreme reactions when I tell people I don’t drink than when I tell them I don’t date, it’s wild. The party planning committee (including the head of my department) at work a few years ago called me into a meeting to ask what I’d suggest at a Christmas party at a brewery, and I suggested a non-alcoholic option for people who didn’t want to drink, and they were like, “Oh, hadn’t thought of that. Does that mean you don’t drink?” “Yup.” “How come?” “I just don’t.” “No, but why?” “Just don’t.” “No, but why?” “Well my dad drank himself to death, so there’s that.” “………..” “…” “Okay, thanks!” To his credit, my boss has since been very careful to not so much as mention booze in front of me, even though I’ll honestly nurse a single beer all night, but I’ve never been drunk. I casually came out as ace to one of the dudes demanding answers about alcohol, and he didn’t even question it or make a big deal of it. November 26, 2022 at 01:18AM

Hey guys, I’m a 29 f and my boyfriend is 29 as well. I have known him since we were 16 years old and have been dating since 2016 and we share a child. In the whole relationship he doesn’t like to eat me out, he doesn’t like to have sex much only when he is horny … he is not romantic AT ALL. But, he will hang out with friends, he loves to hang out with his mom and he just isn’t very into me. And idk why!! I have asked, begged, pleaded..:: and he always says he loves me. But I can’t take the boring relationship. It’s driving me insane. Help? And yes, I have tried to spicy it up, i even asked for an open relationship… like I have tried everything. Idk why he doesn’t like me but won’t let me go? Submitted November 26, 2022 at 01:16AM Hey guys, I’m a 29 f and my boyfriend is 29 as well. I have known him since we were 16 years old and have been dating since 2016 and we share a child. In the whole relationship he doesn’t like to eat me out, he doesn’t like to have sex much only when he...

But my first boyfriend from highschool dated for nearly 3 years 16-18ish and it ended kinda rough he moved two hours away the last bit and I really have the urge to talk to him but I’m pretty sure the last time we talked we got so mad at eachother we both blocked eachother and I can’t remember his phone number and it doesn’t seem he uses his social media anymore bc he doesn’t interact with anyone on them or post anymore… should I just give it up at this point I feel like we’ve probably milked it dry at this point Submitted November 26, 2022 at 12:08AM But my first boyfriend from highschool dated for nearly 3 years 16-18ish and it ended kinda rough he moved two hours away the last bit and I really have the urge to talk to him but I’m pretty sure the last time we talked we got so mad at eachother we both blocked eachother and I can’t remember his phone number and it doesn’t seem he uses his social media anymore bc he doesn’t interact with anyone on them or post anymore… should I j...

I genuinely don’t understand it. I ask for advice and it seems my view on the whole subject is incorrect or that I apparently approach things poorly. I’ve only been on a date with maybe 2 people at most and in online dating, have maybe tried to plan something only to be ghosted or I was given a last minute excuse by several people. Maybe 3 ish people have said to me that they only like me as a friend out of those I’ve tried to build a relationship with who I’ve met in person. It’s weird to me how some people regularly get dates or are so successful in even trying to date a smaller amount of people. My current methods for testing waters with people to see if they would be interested are: 1. I’ll usually find the opportunity to talk to them and get to know them, usually as friends (why would I date someone I don’t want to be friends with?) 2. If we get along, and it turns out I’m growing feelings, I’ll try to see if I can find any hint that they might feel the same, or I’ll ask them t...

Well you see, if someone really and truly wants to be with you, then compromise to make you comfortable as you are will be included in the relationship; I would say so long as you’re not sex repulsed and you’re willing to do it occasionally (we might once or twice a month most time), the right person would be willing to overlook that they’re not being physically intimate as much as they might like. You’ve already got the right idea by saying you don’t understand their desires, but the same goes vice versa; most allo partners are gonna have to be willing to do some research and some serious understanding to make it work. We’ve found (we’re still together here, just got married and we’re going on 9 years) that a lot of intimate contact can be a good substitute in place of sexually intimacy; it really fills the physical deficit, lots of hugging/kissing/reaffirmation for the allo partner. I would say most Allo people feel like sex completes the relationship because of tying sexuality to ...

Idk I'm demi but i said birommantic cus I guess if I do feel attraction it doesn't matter what gender November 25, 2022 at 11:24PM

I (24f) live in a pretty small college town, so most of the guys I see on OLD live in bigger cities around me that are almost an hour away. The few I’ve been talking to on hinge almost immediately start talking about a date (it must be a thing on that app?). There’s hardly anything to do in my town, so of course most of the date ideas are for where these guys live. There’s no halfway point for us to meet, just even smaller towns between us lol. Submitted November 25, 2022 at 01:04AM I (24f) live in a pretty small college town, so most of the guys I see on OLD live in bigger cities around me that are almost an hour away. The few I’ve been talking to on hinge almost immediately start talking about a date (it must be a thing on that app?). There’s hardly anything to do in my town, so of course most of the date ideas are for where these guys live. There’s no halfway point for us to meet, just even smaller towns between us lol.

I don’t FaceTime, and I’m not really a talker, so unless the other is carrying/initiating it I’m often little clueless at times on how to maintain a long call. Any cute things you guys do, what you talk about, or just ways to keep the vibe going? Submitted November 25, 2022 at 01:08AM I don’t FaceTime, and I’m not really a talker, so unless the other is carrying/initiating it I’m often little clueless at times on how to maintain a long call. Any cute things you guys do, what you talk about, or just ways to keep the vibe going?

Hi everyone, I (24F) was dating someone (35M) for about 2.5 months. We shared the same values, and he was incredibly consistent with me - we would call everyday for 1-2 hours and he would travel down by car just to see me almost twice a month (it's a 6hr drive!). We were not physical with each other due to our religious convictions however we shared a deep emotional bond with each other. Until he dropped the bomb on me and told me he was just not ready for a commitment. He offered to stay friends in the mean time "to see if his mind will change". I told him that while I understand his decision, I cannot stay friends with him at the moment as it would be difficult for me to move on. I unfollowed him on instagram, deleted his contact info, and all our pictures together, etc. He has not reached out since. I am quite sad as he's such an amazing guy regardless of this. Was I rash in my decision? Or was it right of me to do? Should I move on? Or hope that he will reach...

At the beginning of the year I (F21) met my friend’s friend (M22). He asked for my number and I gave it to him but ended up…ghosting him. I was dumb I know. I met that guy again a month ago. He seemed nice so I texted him. We started chatting and went out. Those times were amazing, he is so considerate, intelligent and interesting. And physically he’s like TOTALLY my type, no really the way he’s soooo fine is insane… Now! I have a bit of a problem coz obviously I appreciate the time we spend together (basically we can talk for 5 hours non stop). But on our last meeting he said “I struggled to find a place to meet because it’s my first time going out with a female FRIEND”. Each time we went out none of us tried anything romantically. Plus we don’t really text each other, but spend more time going out to try new spots. This week I realized I have a crush on him (which can seem dumb considering the amount of time we’ve spent…). I feel like I friend zoned myself…idk what to do to make ...

I'm not sex repluse I do get you need it and it is important ( my husband is allo and I know how important it is to him) But I've seen relationships fall because one can't give sex. Either because lace of time, stress, or medical. You should love someone more than just sex. It should be a benefit and enjoyed experience with your lover. If you have to so you don't loose your lover I think there's a problem. That might just be me. November 24, 2022 at 11:29PM

You might be adexsexual ? It kind of is the opposite of aegosexuality, as in it's a very self-centric. The focus is on you and your sensations. November 24, 2022 at 11:27PM

Physics November 24, 2022 at 11:24PM

My boyfriend invited me to move in with him. He owns his apartment. He is older and has a much higher paying job. I am going back to school to further my career. I agree with splitting rent equally in regards to utilities (cable, internet, heat and electricity, etc) since we are both using these expenses equally. In regards to splitting his mortgage payments. We are not sure how to split this. I do not think it is fair I pay half of his mortgage. Especially since it is a decent amount more than I am currently paying. How do we decide how much rent I pay? Does this include his strata fees? He was thinking half of his strata and mortgage payments. Or 80% of that half. Which is still more than I am paying now. How do we come to a fair agreement? Submitted November 24, 2022 at 01:01AM My boyfriend invited me to move in with him. He owns his apartment. He is older and has a much higher paying job. I am going back to school to further my career.I agree with splitting rent equally in...

So I don’t even know how to begin this post but I’m looking for advice. Ive gotta give some backstory for this to make sense. I have a very good friend, we’ll call her Megan, who I met 7 years ago while I was dating a dumb guy whose best friend Megan was dating. Our boyfriends were also roommates so we saw each other a lot and became very close. The boyfriends didn’t last long but we remained very close after. This ex boyfriend of mine was a rebound after I dumped my long term boyfriend of 5 years. Long term boyfriend and I dated all through college and a little after. I broke up with him because I didn’t know what i wanted in life yet and he was ready to settle down. Long term boyfriend and I talked about doing our own thing and possibly reconnecting down the road so we didn’t leave things on bad terms. Fast forward five years and long term boyfriend gets hired in the city where I live so we see each other a lot. I knew the person who hired him and put in a good word for him. I start...

Agreed! Also for hair, I love bald or loooooooooong hair haha November 24, 2022 at 12:37AM

I have a crush on this friend that we only hang out bc of our mutual friends. When we first started hanging out I was pretty open with him, initiated conversation, made jokes etc (despite the fact that i’m an introvert) and felt like we were vibing but nothing ever happened. Fast forward now (after more then 6 months of this on/off) I feel like my social batteries have run out and I kinda started to ignore him because it feels forced to be playful, for lack of a better word. I still like him and want to let him know but my girlfriends say I shouldn’t straight up tell him and flirt instead. One of them that’s in our friend group basically told me she couldn’t possibly tell I like him by the way I’ve acted, even though I thought I was pretty obvious.. so, Males, pls help. Would you be put off if someone straight up told you they liked you? Or is it better to flirt in a more obvious way and test for sparks? I should mention he is also a bit shy, tho friendly and kind. Submitted Novem...

Tell him hes sexually attracted to dogs and stand by that November 23, 2022 at 11:08PM

Voices, if that counts. November 23, 2022 at 11:08PM

I know right. Like I know it sounds unrealistic (and I hate that it does in this world) but if I could just have a best friend to share a home with, someone that would cuddle up when it's cold, to go shopping with, to cook for, and if I explain all these things to someone they will say "bro you want a girlfriend" ... No not really I just want SOMEONE! non romantic (or maybe semi romantic idk) but just someone stable in my life that I can put energy into and that can do the same.. it's soooo hard to get that into people's heads. I've heard the term life partner I few times and ya I guess that I what I'm getting at. Someone who is just on the same page as me, saying there is no label, we are just us and we are happy. But nope. November 23, 2022 at 12:52AM

I totally feel that!!! November 23, 2022 at 12:50AM

I met this girl a couple of days ago for the first time at another friend's birthday party. We both knew that we existed since I actually hit her up through messenger AGES ago (we have mutuals, used to be in the same student association and study the same thing in uni) but we had never seen each other or met in person, or at least I had never seen her but kept seeing her profile. The initial chat over messenger was okay but just led her kind of ghosting me (typical) and it was just really simple, frank conversation about uni, the association and what we did. We met at the party and also talked there but nothing really special materialised; basic convos, played a bit of that table soccer/football game and did grow to be fond of each other but she was relatively shy, she only knew one other person really closely there and stuck with her but I had been hanging with her for a while that she felt comfortable around me, started following me around when I went somewhere etc. We said o...

Lol I know how sad that sounds. I’ve been on Hinge and lately actually been putting effort in. Swiping right as much as I can and actually messaging first. In my mid-twenties it was so much easier, a lot of dudes messaged me. It feels like since I turned 30 it’s a lot harder. Dunno if this is in my head. I’ve been out of the dating scene for several years now (got diagnosed with a life long disease was a big part of that) and I have no idea what I’m doing trying to get back into it. Any general advice?? Are there other apps I should be using?? Anyone have anything “bad” on their profile they didn’t realize was turning people off? Lol help me xD 31F, 170lbs, 5’6”. I would say I’m pretty average in terms of looks - my face is cute. Submitted November 23, 2022 at 12:09AM Lol I know how sad that sounds. I’ve been on Hinge and lately actually been putting effort in. Swiping right as much as I can and actually messaging first.In my mid-twenties it was so much easier, a lot of dud...

FWIW, Hagrid says 'yer' not 'ya'. I mean you can imagine Hagrid saying it if you like, just know that that's not how he sounds at all XD November 22, 2022 at 11:24PM

Yeah I would id as queer too. Its just q bit easier to explain, also being panromantic, id like to include that sort of non-straight explanation at least November 22, 2022 at 11:23PM

I love giving, while receiving is really not my thing. I love to please someone and not expecting anything in return. November 22, 2022 at 01:07AM

I’m a 31 year old man. Never had a girlfriend or a relationship. It’s not for lack of trying either, I’ve been trying to find that mutual interest for years now but it just does not exist, I’m not anyone’s type, despite being the best version of myself I can be and improving year after year Still, the worst part is realizing that everyone notices how much of a failure you are when it comes to the most basic thing humanity has done continuously for millennia No one vocally says anything atleast not yet, but you feel it more and more as you get older I’ve been trying to find things I enjoy to distract myself with but it’s been so difficult realizing that I’m never going to have the chance at love or to give someone all this affection I have, or to have a family of my own that I can hold close when my mom and dad are gone The second worst part is that once you’re past the college phase, and you’re a working adult, basically any hopes of finding that are slim to none. There’s no way ...

I have been talking to someone for a few months. We have good chemistry and nice convos. We were in talks of meeting up and promised it was a surprise. It never happened. One day we talking and asked me to get something. I was perplexed after they reneged on the surprise. I asked them can you get it? It was a awkward silence. The person flipped it on me by saying I'm a team player and expects everything from someone. Needless to say, I had experiences with people letting me down after I did stuff for them. I just don't want to get through that again. I explained to them about it and thought it was an excuse. Sound I give in to what they want from me without meeting the promise or wait afterwards or keep it moving? Submitted November 22, 2022 at 01:13AM I have been talking to someone for a few months. We have good chemistry and nice convos. We were in talks of meeting up and promised it was a surprise. It never happened. One day we talking and asked me to get something. ...

haha exactly!! 😂 and I mean .. at least in The Fault in Our Stars they had a reason to be depressive.. 😶‍🌫️ but the „cigarette metaphor“ - I still can’t 💀😂😂😂 gotta say I actually prefer Looking for Alaska as well as Papertowns A TON tho Looking for Alaska absolutely ended me🙃 and I think the series adaptation was actually pretty good as well surprisingly 🤔 (I only would’ve casted Alaska different I guess but apart from that the cast and almost everything was spot on! Just like I imagined it in my head) so in case you haven’t seen : I can recommend November 22, 2022 at 12:08AM

I'm a guy and my boss Is a woman in her mid 20's. I know she is attracted to me and lately the sexual tension at work has been building up. There's just so many obstacles here, first she's my boss. Second, I already dated another girl from work that didn't work out. So don't want people thinking I'm jumping from girl to girl at work. ​ Anyway for my own manhood I'd like to address it with her so she doesn't think I'm an inexperienced virgin or anything like that and say stuff to others about how clueless I am to her advances. (She has already told her sister about crushing on me who works with us.) ​ I do not want to date her at work. But that conversation would make me into an asshole (yeah I like you, but not enough that I want to date you). What's the most tactful way to bring up in a conversation that I don't date co-workers, but if we were not... I would totally date her? Submitted November 22, 2022 at 12:13AM I'm a gu...

Its funny November 21, 2022 at 12:25AM

Im aroace and happily engaged! November 21, 2022 at 12:23AM

Same. Like I get being hurt but I'll get over it in a week or so. I've also realized I'm good at compartmentalization of my feelings and that may play into it. November 21, 2022 at 12:21AM

Go out and meet new mfs November 21, 2022 at 12:21AM

I don t and never felt the need. I m a very curious person and i watched porn before. Is like a movie. At the beginning i felt disgust but now i don t feel nothing. Also i read smut mangas, but for kisses. I feel like kisses are more intimate and shows more your feelings than doing the deed. November 21, 2022 at 12:20AM

I (22F) would like to get online and try the apps again…cause to be honest I don’t get much action in real life. I heard a dating coach say that he thinks women on dating apps look desperate and that it’s normal for men to look desperate but with women, you can expect to be treated worse from it. That you should meet men in person and if you can’t, then it’s not your time yet. Do you men agree? Do women on the apps look desperate? Like you assume there’s something wrong with them so they had to get online to date? Or do you just see it as the new norm and don’t give it a second thought? Last year when I was online dating, a guy asked me why I got on Hinge. I told him a friend recommended it…which is sort of true because my friend met her fiancé on there but it was mostly because I don’t get approached much. Didn’t want to say that though. Honest opinions please. Submitted November 21, 2022 at 12:13AM I (22F) would like to get online and try the apps again…cause to be honest I d...

A man took me out on a "date". I was really excited, blew off a work project, got new heels, a dress, and was excited to be wined and dined. I really did put in a lot of time, money, and energy trying to impress him and be good company. I didn't ask him about whether he was paying and expected him to pay since he asked me out. When the bill came, he just gave me a blank stare. I asked him if he was taking care of it and he just said "No". I got visibly upset and he started bragging about other women that wanted him, then threatened to get up and leave if I didn't pay. I panicked about being left with the whole bill. He said we could split it and we both put in our cards. Turns out, he had actually LOCKED his card. The waitress came back and said "I'm really sorry, his card didn't work" and she told me my card got charged for BOTH meals. Wanting to be "nice", I didn't complain, I just said that's okay and signed the ch...

We are decided to make it official today.She doesn’t have any prior relationship experience. As for me I have been in a few relationships but my first one was heartbreaking and traumatising.It was full of lies,gaslighting and betrayal. But I don’t want my gf to go through what I have been through.I want to give her best time of her life with me that she can remember fondly. How can I give it to her? Edit:We are both 20 Submitted November 21, 2022 at 12:14AM We are decided to make it official today.She doesn’t have any prior relationship experience. As for me I have been in a few relationships but my first one was heartbreaking and traumatising.It was full of lies,gaslighting and betrayal.But I don’t want my gf to go through what I have been through.I want to give her best time of her life with me that she can remember fondly. How can I give it to her?Edit:We are both 20

No, a person's reaction to sex due to trauma is completely separate from their sexuality. While becoming averse to sex is definitely a normal response to trauma, it's just that, a trauma response. Someone who's demi would be demi regardless of whether they were traumatized. It's the same as any sexuality; I'm technically bi, but due to trauma I don't trust men and won't date them, but I'm not a lesbian because trauma doesn't dictate attraction. I experienced trauma too, before I realized I'm ace and it made me confused for the longest time. I don't remember where I read it, I think it was an ace website, maybe asexuality dot org. Reading about other aces helped a lot. 💛 November 20, 2022 at 01:19AM

I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship. Every time I meet someone I like, it never works out. Living in a small town doesn't help. I'm gay, and the dating pool is extremely small. Never made a connection with any of the locals, and whenever someone new shows up, it's like everyone is on them. I hate it. Submitted November 20, 2022 at 01:06AM I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship. Every time I meet someone I like, it never works out. Living in a small town doesn't help. I'm gay, and the dating pool is extremely small. Never made a connection with any of the locals, and whenever someone new shows up, it's like everyone is on them. I hate it.

I’m glad this worries you and that you are searching for advice. It doesn’t seem like your partner is sex-repulsed, which is a big benefit for the way your relationship appears to be structured. I’m sex repulsed, but it seems like both your partner and I might be similar in the sense that we just see sex as another activity. In my case, it’s an activity that I don’t want any involvement in. For her, it seems like she’s fine with it. That’s important, because when I was much more naive, I thought I could “compromise” too. But if you do not want sex , there isn’t really a safe way to compromise, is there? Learned that the hard way. Before I give my main advice, I want to disclaim it with this: imo, your ages make a big difference here. If you’re both established adults, your partner is likely a lot more realistic about consent and her sexual identity. Supported by your respect for her and her boundaries, she’ll likely know how to compromise without getting hurt. If, on the other hand...

Sure! Tbh, I'm still figuring out my romantic label. But basically, the relationship started as many do: with a crush. We had crushes on each other and it developed and we have a really great relationship now. As sexuality and romance are spectrums and can change, I think that's what is happening to me. I'm not sure I feel romantic feelings anymore. But I'm not going to break up with him, I still love him and want to spend my life with him. He's also one of my best friends, and maybe my feelings are just slightly stronger than normal "friend feelings." He makes me happy, he makes me laugh and smile, and he's perfect for me. Maybe that is romantic love, I'm honestly not sure. Also, I haven't had a crush in forever, which would make me think I'm starting to become aro. Crushes are common for most people, right? Currently I identify as idemromantic. November 20, 2022 at 12:14AM

This anology really helped me It's like cake. Sex is the act of 'eating' the 'cake'. Sexual attraction is seeing a 'cake' and thinking 'damn, that's a nice cake, im experiencing urges to eat that'. Libido is 'craving' something 'sweet' but not necessarily 'cake'. Asexual people that enjoy sex are, in this metaphor, people who don't necessarily see a 'cake' and feel the urge to 'eat' it, but they might like the 'taste' or the 'texture' etc. Those who want sex are those who don't 'crave' the cake in particular eithet, but know from experience that they like 'eating' it. It 'tastes' good. They might also be 'craving' something sweet, and whilst 'candy' is enough, 'cake' is also sweet, so why not? Maybe their partner made it for them (pleasing their partner), maybe they wanna know what its like to eat cake (curiosity) etc. November ...

We agreed to go to a movie at 8:30 and that she to be picked up at 8. She then proceeded to move it back to 9:30. She then told me that she doesn’t need to be picked up at 8 anymore and that her mom will take her instead. I don’t know why but I’m getting a feeling in my stomach that I might just be used for a free movie and meal and then get ghosted. Do you think this is a likely outcome? Or am I being paranoid. Submitted November 20, 2022 at 12:04AM We agreed to go to a movie at 8:30 and that she to be picked up at 8. She then proceeded to move it back to 9:30. She then told me that she doesn’t need to be picked up at 8 anymore and that her mom will take her instead. I don’t know why but I’m getting a feeling in my stomach that I might just be used for a free movie and meal and then get ghosted. Do you think this is a likely outcome? Or am I being paranoid.

I haven’t gone out in the dating world in a while. This was my first time stepping back out there and I was nervous as hell meeting him in person. We matched on bumble and chatted for a week-ish before meeting… it was literally perfect. We wouldn’t stop texting each other. Fast forward to date #1, it was more than what we thought it could be. We clicked so well and he gave every single sign that he was into me. He straight up told me he wanted to introduce me to his friends one day and was gushing about how his heart kept racing all fast… we kissed and made out and it was just sparks and all. He even said so too. That night was just perfect. We went on date #2 and that was even more perfect. Cooked me dinner and everything. Opened up about our past. It was just great. Then last week he just starts texting less and being distant out of nowhere. I knew something was off. So I asked him and he said everything was fine. But yesterday he was MIA and I officially knew that something was ...

(M15) First off let me start by saying that this is the first time I decided to man up. I have very bad social anxiety and im very introverted and trapped in my own bubble at home and I have some attachment issues, possible agarophobia too but im not diagnosed with that yet. I am a pretty average looking dude, not ugly, I've had the privilege to be asked out by 2 girls. One from my class and one that I met in a shopping mall. And guess what, even tho they were pretty as hell, not only did I reject them, but ghosted them too. Now, I started High School. On the second day a pretty girl told me she liked my shirt. I thought to myself that it was just her being nice since it was a band tee and she might've liked it. Next day I get a letter (a little old fashioned but it was very cute to me), she wrote that I seemed nice and that she liked my style etc. She wrote her snap and number too. (SHE DID ASK ME IF I WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND) But what seems suspicious to me is that ever sin...

For your first question, I'm not 100% sure about a legal issue, but it's definitely something that your partner should not be doing if that's what makes you uncomfortable. Second, you could totally disregard thay experience as your first kiss because it made you uncomfortable, and instead you could think that your future partner will be your first kiss. You were not comfortable with it, so I wouldn't really count it. If you were comfortable enough with said new partner, that is something you could address to them. It's really up to you what you count as your first. Hope that helps! :) November 19, 2022 at 12:26AM

Yes, I’m sex-favorable ace and people always assume I’m bi November 19, 2022 at 12:24AM

So I (26m) started a job nearly a year ago where I met a coworker (21f) that I admittedly developed a severe crush on. I don’t really date or anything like that, and I hardly prioritize such things over work at the moment, so situations like this are rare for me. I became friends with her and her other coworkers who are also her friends over a short period. Anyway, about a month in and I finally get the nerve to ask her out. She rejects me, albeit softly, saying she doesn’t really hang out with coworkers. I take my lumps and chalk it up to a “oh well, what can you do?” I initially remain distant until I believe she notices that I’m becoming such and I step in just to make sure she knows I’m not giving her the cold shoulder or anything, but just avoiding awkwardness. She laughs and we get along just fine and make jokes. A few days later one of her and I’s friends comes up to me and teases me that I asked her out, stating “yeah, she just doesn’t like anybody.” I kind of felt taken abac...