/u/dbmaj7_ on What were signs of asexuality that you showed before you knew you were asexual?

To me, the thought of having sex always felt, for lack of a better word, unnatural. I couldn’t imagine myself trying it, much less enjoying it. When I was asked to go to an end-of-school dance by a girl I didn’t dislike (but with whom my relationship I considered strictly platonic), I sort of just changed the subject, because I didn’t want to have a relationship that anything more than a friendship. That was when I was 15. I’m 23 now and I consider that to be the first sign of my asexuality that I can at least remember, as that feeling never left.

I could never get into porn, either. I’ve tried watching videos in the past, searching for things I figured I would have a chance of enjoying, but it always felt weird that people could actually like what I was seeing. I ended skipping through most of it and looking at random details to scrutinise out of either distraction or boredom.

Whenever anyone talks about finding someone sexy, or about anticipating/wanting to have sex with someone, I felt really out of place in that conversation for not being able to relate. I wondered if it was because I hadn’t found the “right person” yet, but if people can potentially be attracted a whole different gender of 4 billion people then the idea of there being a “right” person made no sense to me. On the subject, I have always been, and still get, baffled by people who cheat. It’s weird to me that people will go into a relationship in which they want sex, HAVE sex and yet still want to have sex with someone else. I can’t even begin to process how I would respond if I were in the situation of finding out I was cheated on. Literally, I cannot even imagine what I would say.

Ultimately - sex, attraction and relationships have always been a kind of foreign concept to me. My dad doesn’t know I’m ace and for a little while used to ask more frequently than I think he intended when I would consider finding a girlfriend (I’m a man, btw). I wouldn’t know how to respond, so I just said I preferred being single. Not technically a lie XD

Edit: Added two paragraphs because I accidentally pressed post before I was done because I’m a moron

December 01, 2022 at 02:47AM