How do I learn how to date and find a relationship, otherwise how could I improve my method of finding one

I genuinely don’t understand it. I ask for advice and it seems my view on the whole subject is incorrect or that I apparently approach things poorly.

I’ve only been on a date with maybe 2 people at most and in online dating, have maybe tried to plan something only to be ghosted or I was given a last minute excuse by several people. Maybe 3 ish people have said to me that they only like me as a friend out of those I’ve tried to build a relationship with who I’ve met in person. It’s weird to me how some people regularly get dates or are so successful in even trying to date a smaller amount of people.

My current methods for testing waters with people to see if they would be interested are: 1. I’ll usually find the opportunity to talk to them and get to know them, usually as friends (why would I date someone I don’t want to be friends with?) 2. If we get along, and it turns out I’m growing feelings, I’ll try to see if I can find any hint that they might feel the same, or I’ll ask them to go out/hang out, etc. 3. If 2 goes well, Find a good opportunity to say that I’m catching feelings and if they’d want to go out.

Maybe I don’t get things or this sounds like a bad approach, but I really can’t see myself just blinding asking someone out or for their social media until I’ve talked to them for a bit or built up some form of baseline relationship. It feels awful and so wrong to me to try to add someone and only a little while after possibly remove them or not talk to them anymore because the only thing in mind was to try to date them.

How should I change my approach with my thought process in mind, otherwise, how can I improve my whole “friendship first, if I like them during the process then I like them and will see if it’s possible, otherwise stay friends” method?

Submitted November 26, 2022 at 12:11AM

I genuinely don’t understand it. I ask for advice and it seems my view on the whole subject is incorrect or that I apparently approach things poorly.I’ve only been on a date with maybe 2 people at most and in online dating, have maybe tried to plan something only to be ghosted or I was given a last minute excuse by several people. Maybe 3 ish people have said to me that they only like me as a friend out of those I’ve tried to build a relationship with who I’ve met in person. It’s weird to me how some people regularly get dates or are so successful in even trying to date a smaller amount of people.My current methods for testing waters with people to see if they would be interested are: 1. I’ll usually find the opportunity to talk to them and get to know them, usually as friends (why would I date someone I don’t want to be friends with?) 2. If we get along, and it turns out I’m growing feelings, I’ll try to see if I can find any hint that they might feel the same, or I’ll ask them to go out/hang out, etc. 3. If 2 goes well, Find a good opportunity to say that I’m catching feelings and if they’d want to go out.Maybe I don’t get things or this sounds like a bad approach, but I really can’t see myself just blinding asking someone out or for their social media until I’ve talked to them for a bit or built up some form of baseline relationship. It feels awful and so wrong to me to try to add someone and only a little while after possibly remove them or not talk to them anymore because the only thing in mind was to try to date them.How should I change my approach with my thought process in mind, otherwise, how can I improve my whole “friendship first, if I like them during the process then I like them and will see if it’s possible, otherwise stay friends” method?