How do I go about telling a guy I don’t want casual sex after being okay with it up until a week ago?

I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this month and realized I cannot do casual sex. I end up always getting emotionally attached and develop these needs like getting upset if I don’t get a reply for awhile but see him being active on Instagram.

For background: I 24F and 26M have been flirty talking for a few months. We were planning on meeting sometime this month to see each other again and hookup.

Now I’m not one to shy away with talking about sex or dirty talking. I’m normally never ashamed of that either. But I’m trying to break my old habits with him because I want him to take me seriously.

And I’m one to get attached too fast (I am working on it). I want to see him this month and I do want to have sex with him but only if I know he takes me more seriously.

I’m trying to improve myself and create boundaries.

But I feel like a hypocrite if I bring this up. I feel like I’ll be acting too serious. I haven’t seen him in two years and I do like him which is why I hope he doesn’t see me as a whore or something.

For background: he’s in the medical profession and doesn’t know where he’ll be location wise for the next few years so I understand him not wanting a true relationship but I want him to think of me in a more serious way.

He says he likes me a lot and wants to see me despite him being hyperfixiated on his career and not knowing where he’ll be location wise.



Submitted November 27, 2022 at 01:06AM

I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this month and realized I cannot do casual sex. I end up always getting emotionally attached and develop these needs like getting upset if I don’t get a reply for awhile but see him being active on Instagram.For background: I 24F and 26M have been flirty talking for a few months. We were planning on meeting sometime this month to see each other again and hookup.Now I’m not one to shy away with talking about sex or dirty talking. I’m normally never ashamed of that either. But I’m trying to break my old habits with him because I want him to take me seriously.And I’m one to get attached too fast (I am working on it). I want to see him this month and I do want to have sex with him but only if I know he takes me more seriously.I’m trying to improve myself and create boundaries.But I feel like a hypocrite if I bring this up. I feel like I’ll be acting too serious. I haven’t seen him in two years and I do like him which is why I hope he doesn’t see me as a whore or something.For background: he’s in the medical profession and doesn’t know where he’ll be location wise for the next few years so I understand him not wanting a true relationship but I want him to think of me in a more serious way.He says he likes me a lot and wants to see me despite him being hyperfixiated on his career and not knowing where he’ll be location wise.
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