My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 years. She wants to change her life and isn't sure if I'll fit into the equation. How can I show her that she can trust me to grow with her?

My girlfriend [Female] and I [Male] are both 21 year old college students. We have known each other for years and have been living together for the past 7 months. Ever since high school, we haven't really fit into the standard mold of the average student. We do fine academically (her more than me), but we haven't ever been extremely social. It's always been just her and me for the most part, but she's been getting depressed about not having many friends. She's had friends in the past, but after moving to our college town some of those relationships just aren't as strong as they once were. I know she's great and very lovable, so I've been supporting her in her effort to get out there more. She's been doing better overall and has made a few friends, but she still feels like she could be living a different life overall.

Then, during Spring Break, she went home to visit her family. The problem here is that during a special birthday visit, her mom told her that she was falling out of love with her husband. I think this resonated with my girlfriend and after a week of vacation, she comes home and tells me that she isn't sure if she still wants to be together. Her main concern is that we're going to one day look at where we are and realize that it's just not meant to be.

The thing that really mucks this whole situation up is that we both still love each other and don't want to end our relationship. She doesn't know where to go from here though because she isn't happy with how we've been for the last few years and she feels like the new life she wants might not work out with me in it.

I'm not going to pretend that the past few years have been perfect -- we've grown fatter than we once were, we haven't been very socially active, and we don't really do a whole lot other than sit around and play games/watch TV -- but we've been happy being together this whole time. We've been planning on working out and doing better for a few months, but we never really stuck with it.

For the most part, I want to go down the same path with her. This whole thing has really lit a fire under me and now I want to be a better person for both me and her (but mostly her).

I still think that she's the love of my life, so that's why I really want to make this work. I've asked her to give me a chance to see if I can be the kind of person that can fit in with her vision of the future, but she's not entirely sure that there's room for anyone in the new life she wants.

I'm not normally too keen on listening to strangers on the internet, but I really love my girlfriend and I want to show her that she doesn't need to cut me out in order to achieve her goal. What, if anything, can I do to show her that I can still be the same boyfriend I've always been while also being a part of her new life? I'm going to start working out/being healthier while also doing lots of the other things that we've always talked about like hiking, taking trips, and being more social. I just want to know if there's anything else I can do to show her that I can grow with her. We've grown so much together over the last few years, and I think that this could be the start of a something good if it works out.

I want to clarify before people hit the "She's just not into you" button. I've been very open with her on how I feel about this. No matter how much it's going to hurt, I let her know that she can move on without me if she feels like that's what she wants. She says that she still wants to be together, but she just doesn't know if it will work out down the road. After some talking, we've reached an accord that we are just gonna keep living our normal lives (while improving on all that stuff) until she has a better idea of what she wants in her future.

TL;DR Long term gf wants to be a different person and thinks that person might not have a place for me in their life, but I disagree. Therefore, I am asking for help in effectively conveying my willingness to improve too and be a part of that new life.

Submitted April 06, 2019 at 07:49AM

My girlfriend [Female] and I [Male] are both 21 year old college students. We have known each other for years and have been living together for the past 7 months. Ever since high school, we haven't really fit into the standard mold of the average student. We do fine academically (her more than me), but we haven't ever been extremely social. It's always been just her and me for the most part, but she's been getting depressed about not having many friends. She's had friends in the past, but after moving to our college town some of those relationships just aren't as strong as they once were. I know she's great and very lovable, so I've been supporting her in her effort to get out there more. She's been doing better overall and has made a few friends, but she still feels like she could be living a different life overall.Then, during Spring Break, she went home to visit her family. The problem here is that during a special birthday visit, her mom told her that she was falling out of love with her husband. I think this resonated with my girlfriend and after a week of vacation, she comes home and tells me that she isn't sure if she still wants to be together. Her main concern is that we're going to one day look at where we are and realize that it's just not meant to be.The thing that really mucks this whole situation up is that we both still love each other and don't want to end our relationship. She doesn't know where to go from here though because she isn't happy with how we've been for the last few years and she feels like the new life she wants might not work out with me in it.I'm not going to pretend that the past few years have been perfect -- we've grown fatter than we once were, we haven't been very socially active, and we don't really do a whole lot other than sit around and play games/watch TV -- but we've been happy being together this whole time. We've been planning on working out and doing better for a few months, but we never really stuck with it.For the most part, I want to go down the same path with her. This whole thing has really lit a fire under me and now I want to be a better person for both me and her (but mostly her).I still think that she's the love of my life, so that's why I really want to make this work. I've asked her to give me a chance to see if I can be the kind of person that can fit in with her vision of the future, but she's not entirely sure that there's room for anyone in the new life she wants.I'm not normally too keen on listening to strangers on the internet, but I really love my girlfriend and I want to show her that she doesn't need to cut me out in order to achieve her goal. What, if anything, can I do to show her that I can still be the same boyfriend I've always been while also being a part of her new life? I'm going to start working out/being healthier while also doing lots of the other things that we've always talked about like hiking, taking trips, and being more social. I just want to know if there's anything else I can do to show her that I can grow with her. We've grown so much together over the last few years, and I think that this could be the start of a something good if it works out.I want to clarify before people hit the "She's just not into you" button. I've been very open with her on how I feel about this. No matter how much it's going to hurt, I let her know that she can move on without me if she feels like that's what she wants. She says that she still wants to be together, but she just doesn't know if it will work out down the road. After some talking, we've reached an accord that we are just gonna keep living our normal lives (while improving on all that stuff) until she has a better idea of what she wants in her future.TL;DR Long term gf wants to be a different person and thinks that person might not have a place for me in their life, but I disagree. Therefore, I am asking for help in effectively conveying my willingness to improve too and be a part of that new life.