If I didn't find love in my twenties...where does that leave me now?

It seems everyone else my age has had heir big love, been married, and had kids - I feel completely left behind, like there's something wrong with me. I'm about to turn 36. I don't care about marriage but I'd like a long-term monogamous relationship, I could argue I've the rest of my life to find love but I also want a child so time is running out for me.

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I'd say I'm attractive but getting older means losing my looks, thus even less chance of finding someone. It's difficult for me to even meet people let alone find dates, the idea of finding a suitable partner seems like a million to one chance - it's no just finding someone where you both like each other, but even if you lower your standards it feels like it's difficult to find someone this age as many have major deal-breakers like unresolved emotional issues leading to their being abusive.

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I've had long-term relationships (just five years) but never found anyone I've felt came close to someone I'd want to have children with or want to marry (I don't believe in marriage, but I'm referring to that sort of long-term commitment), to me that people can feel that way just seems foreign to me...I'm not even sure I've ever felt loved. I don't want to give up hope of a partner and child, that's what I want and I'm not sure how I could live the rest of my life without this, but I'm staring to think I have to accept there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and I'm at an age I stand no chance.



Submitted April 06, 2019 at 05:56AM

It seems everyone else my age has had heir big love, been married, and had kids - I feel completely left behind, like there's something wrong with me. I'm about to turn 36. I don't care about marriage but I'd like a long-term monogamous relationship, I could argue I've the rest of my life to find love but I also want a child so time is running out for me.​I'd say I'm attractive but getting older means losing my looks, thus even less chance of finding someone. It's difficult for me to even meet people let alone find dates, the idea of finding a suitable partner seems like a million to one chance - it's no just finding someone where you both like each other, but even if you lower your standards it feels like it's difficult to find someone this age as many have major deal-breakers like unresolved emotional issues leading to their being abusive.​I've had long-term relationships (just five years) but never found anyone I've felt came close to someone I'd want to have children with or want to marry (I don't believe in marriage, but I'm referring to that sort of long-term commitment), to me that people can feel that way just seems foreign to me...I'm not even sure I've ever felt loved. I don't want to give up hope of a partner and child, that's what I want and I'm not sure how I could live the rest of my life without this, but I'm staring to think I have to accept there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and I'm at an age I stand no chance.
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