Coping mechanisms vs living life

I'm 32f, I was in a relationship in my late 20s that didn't work out and I've been single since.

Over the last few years I've done a lot to deal with singlehood. I've done pretty much everything suggested here such as therapy, meetups, make friends, OLD, gym, diet, group classes. Recently I booked a trip to a dream country. I live by myself and I don't complain. But I can't shake the feeling I'm doing all this as coping mechanisms. I feel heavily unloved.

I look around and a lot of people seem to be "living". My friends celebrated their 5th anniversary. A teammate recorded her kid's first steps and another got engaged. I hear my neighbors having sex every night lol.

I know I might be comparing (it's weird cuz I'm not on social media but my mind compensates for it). But when I look at my past few years since my breakup, I don't have many memories or milestones. It's like I'm coping and distracting myself to pass my years. I still go on dates occasionally but I feel kinda dead and unloved inside, despite all these coping activities.

How do I deal with the mindnumbing loneliness and coping mechanisms? Are there ways to "live" despite the fact that I might be alone for the next 10, 20 years or till whenever I die? How does one cope with endless unsatisfied cravings for a relationship?

Submitted April 06, 2019 at 06:52AM

I'm 32f, I was in a relationship in my late 20s that didn't work out and I've been single since.Over the last few years I've done a lot to deal with singlehood. I've done pretty much everything suggested here such as therapy, meetups, make friends, OLD, gym, diet, group classes. Recently I booked a trip to a dream country. I live by myself and I don't complain. But I can't shake the feeling I'm doing all this as coping mechanisms. I feel heavily unloved.I look around and a lot of people seem to be "living". My friends celebrated their 5th anniversary. A teammate recorded her kid's first steps and another got engaged. I hear my neighbors having sex every night lol.I know I might be comparing (it's weird cuz I'm not on social media but my mind compensates for it). But when I look at my past few years since my breakup, I don't have many memories or milestones. It's like I'm coping and distracting myself to pass my years. I still go on dates occasionally but I feel kinda dead and unloved inside, despite all these coping activities.How do I deal with the mindnumbing loneliness and coping mechanisms? Are there ways to "live" despite the fact that I might be alone for the next 10, 20 years or till whenever I die? How does one cope with endless unsatisfied cravings for a relationship?