it can work BUT IT MAY NOT. some aces are very possessive of their partners and want no open relationships. i saw people here who reacted pretty poorly to their partners even suggesting it. TLDR: depends entirely on the person. talking about things is always better i think. just don't forget the "i want to stay with my partner" part - basically the reason why you want to try 'open' stuff in the first place. September 01, 2022 at 12:48AM

When i told my ex boyfriend i am ace and probably never want sex he said “thats not gonna stop me continuing to ask for it” September 01, 2022 at 12:48AM

'So, you hate sex?' Nope. Hecking love it. Still ace. September 01, 2022 at 12:48AM

Anyone who thinks its their business to judge or even comment on what other people do in their spare time, as long as its not harmful, is shit in my opinion. Don't like sex for yourself? Cool. Think its kinda gross? Same. But once it stops involving your own personal being, shush. Being "antisex" (not used in the context of sex repulsed) has nothing to do with asexuality. September 01, 2022 at 12:45AM

As someone on the autism spectrum... how is being ace a 'symptom' of autism? I'm genuinely curious how people came to that conclusion. September 01, 2022 at 12:45AM

I decided to call it quits with a guy [34] I was seeing [30] casually. He wanted exclusive FWB and I wanted actual dates. We parted really well and even did a small gift exchange of things we had already bought each other right after splitting. He told me to let him know if I ever wanted to hang out as friends. I kicked this back to him because if he had actually ever been willing to hangout in addition to sex, I would have kept seeing him. Didn't hear anything back, which I wasn't suprised by. Cut to a bit later. Was open to a hookup. Messaged him good luck on his upcoming vasectomy in a few days and basically indicated I'd be interested in hooking up if he was.... He messaged back that he was on no activity orders on the days leading up to the vasectomy but after recovery he'd be interested in celebrating. Now, having had an ex have a vasectomy while I was with him, I didn't fully believe this because there was no restriction leading up to the vasectomy and had...

Report him, that’s inappropriate to say in a work place🤢 August 31, 2022 at 11:41PM

I 23F have been seeing this guy 29M for 2 months now. So far it’s been good & we’ve done a lot of stuff together. He has really been putting in a lot of effort into me and taking me places, spending on me and spending lots of time with me. I wanted to plan something for him or take him out on a date or something. Men , what are some things you would like a woman to do for you that you think all men would love? I thought of a sunset picnic where we can eat, play games to get to know each other more & paint together . I also thought of just taking him out to eat … This weekend I’m giving him a massage, facial and I’m gonna make him dinner. Any ideas please??? Submitted August 31, 2022 at 12:10AM I 23F have been seeing this guy 29M for 2 months now. So far it’s been good & we’ve done a lot of stuff together. He has really been putting in a lot of effort into me and taking me places, spending on me and spending lots of time with me. I wanted to plan something for him or ...

so basically i’ve been talking to this woman for a couple of weeks, we had dinner a week ago and she brought her 2 year old kid with her. i did not mind at all since we were just having dinner. but a few days later theres been sexual advances and i suggested we should get a motel room since non of us cant at our places. she agreed but says she has to bring her kid even thought we are supposed to have sex i said it wasn’t a good idea and that we should work something out for some other day without her kid but she insists she cant any day unless she brings her kid. her idea is that the child will nap while we do it so i just declined and said we would talk later. what should i honestly do or should have done? Submitted August 31, 2022 at 12:05AM so basically i’ve been talking to this woman for a couple of weeks, we had dinner a week ago and she brought her 2 year old kid with her. i did not mind at all since we were just having dinner.but a few days later theres been sexual adv...

God, I feel you so much. When I was around your age I would be soooo bothered by the social norm of having a bf, that I didn't stop to ask myself if I even wanted one. But since no one attracted me - I just didn't find the right person to date. Long story short, now at 26 I can confidently say, I am very much on the ace spectrum, and all I have ever done is kiss a few guys. Don't shut down to experiencing new things, but do remember, your feelings are valid and you don't need to push yourself to anything you don't want. August 30, 2022 at 11:28PM

I think sex talk is to teens as butt jokes are to middle school lol. I never got it either August 30, 2022 at 11:28PM

MEEEEE!! August 30, 2022 at 11:26PM

There was this one dude I was talking to and we were becoming friends and everything was nice then he said "I love you" but I was like "ok wtv" but then we ended up texting again a few days later and he said that he would get me pregnant, so I blocked him. August 30, 2022 at 11:26PM

Where can I find the FAQ 😭 August 30, 2022 at 11:25PM

I believe there is an exact description in the FAQ of how sexual attraction feels physically, but it's important to note libido ≠ attraction. You can feel the physical need for sex without having anyone around. If someone specific makes you feel that, tho, than it might be sexual attraction. (And as for genitals, from conversations with allo people, most of them also find it to be the least attractive human feature, so not necessarily xD) August 30, 2022 at 11:24PM

I (30F) use a few different avenues for dating, including niche sites (reddit, fetlife etc) where face pics aren’t always shared up front. Usually face pics are shared after a bit of chatting (though I share mine early). I’m finding often, though we “click” I’m just fundamentally not attracted to them after the face pic is swapped; but I feel like an asshole just cutting it there. How do I approach this without being an ass? Submitted August 30, 2022 at 12:05AM I (30F) use a few different avenues for dating, including niche sites (reddit, fetlife etc) where face pics aren’t always shared up front.Usually face pics are shared after a bit of chatting (though I share mine early).I’m finding often, though we “click” I’m just fundamentally not attracted to them after the face pic is swapped; but I feel like an asshole just cutting it there. How do I approach this without being an ass?

First of all, I just wanted to say I've started dating only a few months ago so I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to this subject lmao So basically there's this girl I like and who comes off as quite shy (just like me), who accepted going on a second date with me next week. On our first date I invited her to an outdoor picnic and we ate and talked for around 2 and half hours. I felt really nervous at first but it got better eventually. Now for a second date I proposed that we could go watch a movie. I know it's not an ideal choice for a second date, but I thought we already talked a lot on our first date and as we both are rather introverted, I thought she would also prefer something which involves less talking. Just my opinion though. And my question is: Is there a way to still turn this into a somewhat intimate encounter taking in consideration that we would probably just stare at a screen for like, 2 hours? I'm not talking about doing anything that woul...

Yeah totally.. and probably even more fun, there are no spoilers haha August 29, 2022 at 11:33PM

Actually a lot of sex repulse aces can relate to this curiosity, myself included. My asexuality heavily influences my thoughts have one day having kids, and since I do not like to have sex adoption is a very real possibility. I think you’re reading into this too much, it’s just to see if there are like minded aces and to see if any of them have similar thoughts to OP. No one’s bashing bio kids or adopted kids August 29, 2022 at 11:33PM

This whole thread just made me realize I really am an Ace, so thanks for that! Also, welcome back? August 29, 2022 at 11:28PM

Smh August 29, 2022 at 11:26PM

How down bad does someone have to be to say shit like that? August 29, 2022 at 11:25PM

I'm gonna link a comment where I've talked about how I personally experience sexual attraction here . Hopefully that helps! August 29, 2022 at 12:31AM

i (26f) came to the realization that i wanted to focus on finding a relationship, so i decided to (respectfully and politely) shut things down with my fwb (30m). we had a really nice conversation over text where i was honest with him, told him my reason for cutting things off, and let him know i'd be happy to stay friends. he agreed - it was honestly the most mature conversation i've had with a guy in a really long time. basically, in summation, he said that a relationship wasn't top priority for him right now, but he wasn't completely closed off to the idea. anyway, cut to a few days later, he's texting me more than he's ever texted me before - even when we were fwbs. bantering, kinda flirting. just good chat. he bartends at a local place me and my friends frequent. after i left there the other night (i chatted - and yes , admittedly, flirted - with him and gave him a hug before leaving), he texted me telling me how pretty i looked. i texted him back and aske...

I (F20) recently started hooking up with this new guy (M26). I thought it was strange that we always met up at hotels and never his place. One day when we were both drinking I asked why and he said that his wife died six months ago from sepsis. The wife’s sister lives with him and it sounds like she is a little crazy so he does not want to bring me there. Later I started to notice he would get calls and texts while we were hanging out from “My Beautiful Wife”, I asked him about it and he said his wife’s sister now has her phone and he doesn’t have the heart to change the contact name. I became more suspicious and googled his wife’s obituary. I could not find anything. He has never posted anything on social media about her death and neither have any of her friends that I found. My friends think that he is lying. What should I do? Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:03AM I (F20) recently started hooking up with this new guy (M26). I thought it was strange that we always met up at hot...

Last night I(M22l met a cute girl(F25) at a night club . She seemed kinda shy and introverted but for the most part , she seems to be a pretty chill person overall. I know for a fact i wouldnt want to date this girl because she has 3 kids but I would like to hangout with her as friends . Do you think it is possible for me to be friends with her ? What should I text her ? Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:09AM Last night I(M22l met a cute girl(F25) at a night club . She seemed kinda shy and introverted but for the most part , she seems to be a pretty chill person overall. I know for a fact i wouldnt want to date this girl because she has 3 kids but I would like to hangout with her as friends .Do you think it is possible for me to be friends with her ?What should I text her ?

I'm struggling to understand what it is that makes me so repulsive to women. I've been told I'm not bad-looking (although I disagree), and I don't think I have a particularly unpleasant personality. Yet I could count on one hand the number of occasions that somebody has shown interest. Meanwhile, literally everybody else my age has been in and out of relationships for their entire adult lives. Even if I were to identify and address whatever the problem is, it would be too late for me to start dating anyway, since a 29yo with no prior relationships is surely a massive red flag. Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:10AM I'm struggling to understand what it is that makes me so repulsive to women. I've been told I'm not bad-looking (although I disagree), and I don't think I have a particularly unpleasant personality. Yet I could count on one hand the number of occasions that somebody has shown interest. Meanwhile, literally everybody else my age has been ...

For reference, I’m 26f, Puerto Rican, from NYC. I have dated 3 men seriously in my life, we lived together and everything. All 3 of them abused me one actually held me hostage and tried to kill me multiple times. I’ve been cheated on by them as well as men I’ve dated casually. I’ve been in therapy for years and really wanna date someone seriously but it’s like everyone is just “looking for vibes” or they lie about being in a relationship or they have kids or are drug addicts etc I can go on and on. I’ve tried dating apps, I’ve tried going to bars but I don’t drink, I meet friends of friends and friends of family etc I’ve joined groups and taken social classes with others and done meetups. But, no one wants anything serious. I’m starting to think I’m hideous. I have some health issues but one being and autoimmune disease, if I catch certain STDs I can die. Men won’t even take an std test for me. I can’t do casual/fwb/hookups bc men usually sleep with multiple women and that increases ...

I'm orchidsexual and I don't feel sexual attraction with the same intensity or frequency as an allo. I've only felt it a handful of times in my life. It's different than a sex-repulsed allosexual where they would still feel sexual attraction like a sex-positive allosexual. August 28, 2022 at 11:45PM

People have told me in the past I "have no game", a girl I'm seeing at the moment has also said it, we like each other and we're meeting again soon but she just said I've got no game, I asked why and she said I just don't know how to flirt sometimes, how do I change this and how do I get game? Submitted August 28, 2022 at 01:08AM People have told me in the past I "have no game", a girl I'm seeing at the moment has also said it, we like each other and we're meeting again soon but she just said I've got no game, I asked why and she said I just don't know how to flirt sometimes, how do I change this and how do I get game?

He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit August 28, 2022 at 12:37AM

28 yr old female here... i've dated maybe 10-20 guys lasting more than a couple months. Been on dates with maybe 100 by now. Out of all of them, only 2 did I care about, get along with, nice, made me happy, and the feelings where mutual. Only one of them was a real love... with things perfecr for both of us. But cultural differences prevented us from having a future. I am having a really hard time imagining I will find someone who was worth even a quarter of what he was to me. It has been a year since I talked to him, and I am still madly in love with him. I have been doing me best to work on myself, focus on everything else. Working out, business ideas, trying to form friendships, work, therapy. Started dating again, but nothing is working for me. I guess, I may just have to accept, someone may come, but more likely I will never find anyone that will turn into marriage for me, unless I decide to settle for less, and I have tried that the 10-20 times and know it will not work...

My (25F) bf (25M) has me conflicted because of his values. (Relationship of 4 months) Conflicted over my bfs traits Opinions on my [23F] bf [25M]? He’s probably a 5/10. Is from Oklahoma, very manly. Makes $60,000 a year in some kind of construction job. Works 5AM-8:00PM and comes home around 9PM. Works 5 days a week. Has a house that I live with him in. He’s very capable of protecting me, he trained Judo before getting this job a year ago. Here’s some things I don’t like though: He thinks it’s a red flag if a woman in her 20s hasn’t had a job before Thinks my friend[21F] had it coming when she slapped a teenage boy at the park and he slapped her back. Says he wouldn’t date a “fat” woman (example: 5’4” woman weighing above 160. Gets mad at me for “not doing anything around the house” it’s his house and I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be his mom. Thinks I should get a job if I don’t want to be a pickmeisha who does everything for him. He doesn’t pay any attention to me w...

Double demi! August 27, 2022 at 10:59PM

those posts show up every month or two and they always alternate which group is feeling hard done by, thereby proving that there isn't actually a problem at all August 27, 2022 at 02:04AM

If you are considering switching medications, research them first...The first mood stabilizer I ever tried actually gave me a higher sex drive, which I wasn't expecting because I'd previously only taken SSRIs. August 27, 2022 at 02:00AM

Basically I got this app called CougarD and got some messages from women who were in their later 20’s which led to me getting their Snapchat. (I’m 20) turns out, they’re all into hooking up with me apparently they’ve all been sending me nude pictures of themselves they’re all so hot. This is in the Bay Area, I moved here from somewhere else I want something exciting being in California. Are these legit people doing this or compete scams? Basically it needs your credit card info to verify your identity, I just don’t think it feels right because I’m not paying for anything. And I know normally needing a credit card is a scam. It’s supposed to make the hookup culture safer apparently, this is how multiple of these women explain it. I really wanna hook up with these fine women if they’re legitimately looking to hook up safely. I will not be scammed though. Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:40AM Basically I got this app called CougarD and got some messages from women who were in their ...

Aces and aros might not get as much discrimination, but holy fuck the amount of bigotry they can get from some people. I think that's enough to be part of the lgbtq+ community. August 27, 2022 at 12:39AM

I rejected this guy not once but twice. Before you guys crucify me, I had good reason. The first time I was getting close to a friend I had crushed on for months and who was totally my type. It made logical sense to try. We has only been on 4 dates. The second time was 3 months later. We reconnected when he played a gig at my hometown (we met in college and both spent our summers in our respective hometowns). I was so excited to see him again and was considering trying again after we spent hours catching up and kissing and cuddling. Sober me noped out. We definitely have incompatibilities- he had started smoking again this time (I hate smoking) and he drinks more than I like. He has admitted to getting into the odd drunken fight. I hate that. I told myself that despite this connection, I could find this in someone else and you can't change someone, there are too many obstacles. But there really isn't anyone like him. He's not perfect but we just click? When I turned him do...

people who inspired you to make this post aren't even reading it - they are busy hating everything on their 10-ish dedicated communities. i highly recommend to ignore them completely. (i'm a hypocrite, and for that i have suffered) August 26, 2022 at 01:03AM

Basically what the title says. For context I was at the gym, saw a girl I've seen around once before like a month ago and went to say hello. We chatted for about 2 mins and exchanged names. And that was that. It was a pleasant interaction on both ends. Believe me when I say talking to a girl and ending pleasant is a new record for me. I'm kicking myself for not asking for the number, but at least next time it will be easier to talk to each other. In the future, should you go for the number right away? Or would it be better to gauge the likely hood you'll see them again and wait Submitted August 26, 2022 at 01:11AM Basically what the title says.For context I was at the gym, saw a girl I've seen around once before like a month ago and went to say hello.We chatted for about 2 mins and exchanged names. And that was that. It was a pleasant interaction on both ends.Believe me when I say talking to a girl and ending pleasant is a new record for me.I'm kicking m...

Iced coffee! I love a tall glass of cold brew! August 26, 2022 at 12:11AM

so the guy I’m (22F) seeing is an electrical engineer and he sent me a meme that basically says “my reaction when no one has thought to attach a generator to the wheels of electrical vehicles, so they never have to be charged” he then added “new invention idea?” I don’t have much knowledge of engineering and was just going to reply with “sounds like a ground breaking invention to me 👀💡🔥” or “yesss 🫡💡🔥” Would this be fine? TL;DR: Not sure how to respond to this text… need advice Submitted August 26, 2022 at 12:02AM so the guy I’m (22F) seeing is an electrical engineer and he sent me a meme that basically says “my reaction when no one has thought to attach a generator to the wheels of electrical vehicles, so they never have to be charged”he then added “new invention idea?”I don’t have much knowledge of engineering and was just going to reply with “sounds like a ground breaking invention to me 👀💡🔥” or “yesss 🫡💡🔥”Would this be fine?TL;DR: Not sure how to respond to t...

I’m not obsessed with social media. But I had noticed with a boyfriend that he never interacts with me on social media. Has never once liked my pics. But he IS very private online. He posts nothing personal. There are no pics online of himself. When I asked him about not liking or interacting with me, not putting in relationship with me by name, he said he’s weird about online stuff and prefers to be anonymous. He has gone to great lengths to not have pics of himself online etc. And I believed that. Bc I can see he doesn’t post things. There’s no pics online yeats and years back. BUT he has liked other peoples pics and posts in the past few years. Including women. And even since dating me the last year he likes men and womens posts and pics. But never ever mine. Not one single time. It’s be a year and a half relationship. Is that weird? It makes me suspicious. Bc I believed his reasoning for lack of social media involvement. But it appears he keeps anonymous, yet IS involved… just ...

There is this woman I'm (m21) starting to like. We have texted a few times last month for a uni project, but also a couple of times just talking about our hobbies. I'm not sure if she is interested, but I still wanted to try to take her out. Just to get over the fear of it all, for once. I planned to text her tomorrow to ask her out. Something along the lines of "It's a shame I didn't have a good chance to get to know you better during those stressful exams. Do you want to go play pool next week in order to catch up/make up for it?" My question is... Is it a good way to go or does that sound weird? Like is it weird to say that I haven't gotten to know her, if we did in fact talked a bit to each other? If it isn't obvious, I get really confused when I try to think about how I want to communicate sth. And I was pretty satisfied with this text at first, but now I'm starting to overanalyse it... Submitted August 25, 2022 at 12:20AM There is...

i(19m) met someone(18f) on tinder that I recognized from a few years ago early on in high school. When we matched she told me not to expect anything. after our first time hanging out a few days later she confesses her feelings for me and suggest we start a relationship. I tell her that I’m not wanting to jump into something yet and that I wanted to get to know her some more. We end up hanging out almost everyday for a solid week and I think things are going great. unfortunately it did not last as the very next week I stop getting responses from her, and she is going over to a male friends house. I’ll admit I can be jealous but this situation was a bit different as the male friend in question is 32 years old. after the week of almost nothing we have a conversation where she reassured me of her feelings and reassures me that nothing has happened between her and her friend. She also tells me she will put in more effort. I want to trust that but the behavior continued and she stood me up ...

I’m in my final year of university and still a virgin and never had a girlfriend. A girl made out with me a few times out of pity. I have a very boring personality, so I have trouble making friends and keeping a girls interest. I don’t really think there’s much I can do to change this, it’s been this way since I’ve been a child. I don’t think it’s a case of being unlucky, I literally just don’t have the brain functionality to keep a girl attracted to me. How do I stop feeling like I’m missing out on such a big part of life? I’m literally bombarded by sex and relationships constantly, social media, TV, music, peoples conversations etc. People on the internet like to act like it’s no big deal but if it wasn’t such a big deal I wouldn’t be hearing about it 24/7. I’m taking a high dose of antidepressants in the hope that it can eliminate my sex drive but it still bothers me. Submitted August 25, 2022 at 12:23AM I’m in my final year of university and still a virgin and never had a...

Probably would be missionary to allos, but on the flip side, I absolutely cuddle people I 100% feel comfortable with in a "69" position if you will. (Each persons feet by the others head) When laying together on a couch, it's surprisingly effective. Granted I mostly do it with one friend because she gets over stimulated by touch easily and hates the feeling of people breathing on her, so that is more comforting of a position for her. So really you can flip em both to ace or allo perspectives August 24, 2022 at 11:32PM

And I envy their confidence August 24, 2022 at 11:30PM

Do you have pets? August 24, 2022 at 11:24PM

It IS nice but have you tried cake 🎂? LOL, in all seriousness, the trick it to enjoy those moments and then remember all the wonderful benefits you get for being aroace. I've been ace for 22 years (and single for most of that). I've learned to relish being alone when I am but also take risks and be social. The. When I'm social I enjoy that. August 24, 2022 at 11:24PM

Every time I see stuff like this, I'm like "damn... how'd it take me 24 years to figure it out" Very relatable 😅 August 24, 2022 at 11:23PM

My Mum yelled back to one "I would be bored & you would be confused". August 24, 2022 at 12:20AM

I decided to make the mature thing and send a guy I went on three dates a text explaining that I did not think we were compatible because he doesn’t give me enough attention. He left me on fucking read. The least he could have done is say good luck to you too. WTF now I wish I ghosted him. Submitted August 23, 2022 at 11:49PM I decided to make the mature thing and send a guy I went on three dates a text explaining that I did not think we were compatible because he doesn’t give me enough attention.He left me on fucking read. The least he could have done is say good luck to you too.WTF now I wish I ghosted him.

I went on three dates with a guy snd he tried to call me earlier so I texted him back just being saying that I wanted to be honest with him, that I didn’t really see a future/connection and I just wanted to be open and honest. I was trying to come up with the right words because yesterday he was telling how much he really liked me and going on so I felt i needed to be honest. After I told him that he goes well, I am not really looking for a relationship anyways and i know you girls need to be in one because your on the clock and thats not something i need to worry about. So I was still the bigger person and said Ok! Well I wish you the best!! But i felt like that was an attack towards me because I am 33? Like i dont know why it goes farther than it needs too! Submitted August 23, 2022 at 11:52PM I went on three dates with a guy snd he tried to call me earlier so I texted him back just being saying that I wanted to be honest with him, that I didn’t really see a future/connection ...

I (30M) recently met a girl (28F) through a mutual friend. We recently went on a date that started off as coffee, turned into dinner, and then we continued to chat into the evening until I dropped her off at her place. We hit it off really well and I got no impression that she wasn't interested in me. We've been texting each other the past few days, just flirting and laughing, but it was clear we both wanted to see each other again. We both have conflicting work schedules so finding time was proving to be difficult. She told me earlier this week that Tuesday was her day off indicating that she wanted to see me again. I made plans with her and we both seemed happy about it. So far no problems. Then Tuesday rolls around and I'm checking in with her throughout the day, seeing what she's up to and making chit chat up until a couple hours before I get off work. I sent her a text message asking if we're still on for tonight and wanted to know what time I could pick her u...

M26. Single from almost 10 years. 10 years ago i dated for 3 months and it was my first relationship which didn't went well. I was truly happy that I had my 1st gf. I remember those days. But now I find it difficult to date. I don't socialize so I don't have many friends few they are busy. I'm an introvert, who wants to speak as little as possible. Upon that i'm not an native english speaker, all my collegues are I sometimes don't get accents.. some words just bounce over my head. So I can't get into the circle.. I worked at my work place for 7 minths I still feel like a outsider. I think i'm a good looking person. But I never got time to approach girls online/offline. I don't know how other guys approach girls and they get girls..getting girls in the sense i mean getting into relationship. Few friends who are always busy with work. No female friends, my phone is like a dummy. I get calls from my family that's it. I just read posts on reddit.....

I (23m) am completely burnt out. Last year around this time, I went on a 2 month long business trip in a different country. My ex gf went to Vegas with her friends during this period. Without warning, she told me she wanted to take a break. She started posting pics on IG and Snap of her at clubs with other dudes. I knew she was trying to make it “okay” to cheat on me. I dumped her and never talked to her again since that day. Blocked on all social media. She texted me every month saying “I don’t know what I did wrong…I miss you…” blah blah blah. I’m not stupid. So I’ve been back into the dating scene for 8 or 9 months now and I’m just completely burnt out. It’s exhausting to have to talk to new people every night, ask the same questions, get the same responses. Im bored with it honestly. It’s not the thrill that it used to be. I just don’t care about dating. Another factor at play is I don’t want to be vulnerable. I do not handle heart breaks well. I was so down the few months afte...

Nice! August 23, 2022 at 11:34PM

I met him on a dating app and had been talking to him for almost 2 months before meeting. But then, when we went on our second date he mentioned about wanting to work remote and live in different countries. I really like him and we are compatible, but I can’t help but understand there’s a time limit to our relationship. Should I end it before it gets too serious? Or should I talk to him about it and see where it goes? Submitted August 23, 2022 at 04:10AM I met him on a dating app and had been talking to him for almost 2 months before meeting. But then, when we went on our second date he mentioned about wanting to work remote and live in different countries. I really like him and we are compatible, but I can’t help but understand there’s a time limit to our relationship. Should I end it before it gets too serious? Or should I talk to him about it and see where it goes?

All you just gotta do is go up to one at a social event say hi and try to have a conversation with her and if she doesn’t want to have a conversation with you then you can leave her alone. I was freaking out over nothing. Submitted August 23, 2022 at 04:14AM All you just gotta do is go up to one at a social event say hi and try to have a conversation with her and if she doesn’t want to have a conversation with you then you can leave her alone. I was freaking out over nothing.

I never said they were on the same level. I said it was a need, and I said it's usually described by comparing it to hunger. "Kinda like but not as urgent" is still a comparison. Have you talked to many allo people about this? Have you had relationships with any? I'm married. The vast majority of my friends are allo, and I've never been particularly cagey about being ace, so attitudes towards sex has come up often. It varies from person to person, but it's been pretty consistent that for the vast majority of allos, lack of sex results in degraded life satisfaction. There's absolutely nothing wrong with people saying they need sex if they need sex. You keep saying "it's bad" to say that, but you have yet to give any valid reason why . August 23, 2022 at 02:47AM

Personally not comfortable sharing system info like that on Reddit, sorry. It just gets kinda personal and doesn’t really benefit much. August 23, 2022 at 01:30AM

This guy I met off of tinder doesnt have my phone number saved. We’ve seen each other pretty consistently for the past 2-3 weeks, and have even hooked up. He’s texted me everyday. Only thing is the last time I saw him, I sent him a message while he was asleep, and his phone was next to me, I glanced over, and saw that my number wasn’t saved. He was the one who initiated us texting and asked for my number to begin with. I dont know, just seems a little strange. I dont know if I have the right to feel a little weird about it being that I’m not exactly looking for a relationship with him. Maybe just a fwb situation. Any advice? Submitted August 23, 2022 at 02:23AM This guy I met off of tinder doesnt have my phone number saved. We’ve seen each other pretty consistently for the past 2-3 weeks, and have even hooked up. He’s texted me everyday. Only thing is the last time I saw him, I sent him a message while he was asleep, and his phone was next to me, I glanced over, and saw that my ...

Homebody here. I do like to get out but I honestly don’t have anyone to get out with. My family is reserved and picky. And I don’t have any friends. Just some work associates. I have dated a few men recently that seemed to be very outgoing and spontaneous and they seem to not be very interested in me. I can carry on a good conversation and whatnot so it’s not like Im quiet as heck. And I have a very good sense of humor. I can dance and I love karaoke and can even party a little even though it’s not exactly my scene. I also consider myself attractive. I don’t think I’m just all that but I don’t believe I’m remotely unattractive at all by most. I’m not sure what it is but I’m starting to think I’m just too boring. I do desire a man that is outgoing and talkative and gets out often. Perhaps that is what those men desire in a woman as well? Not sure. But I’m starting to think I’m just too boring to be dating. Is this a thing? Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:50AM Homebody here. I do ...

Soo I've had some bad exs. one in particular seems to baffle me every time. So here it is!! Let's call her ava for this post lol. So ava apparently broke up with me because of her parents saying I'm too old. I asked her friend and she said there was more to it. She wanted to continue being friends but that nvr ended up happening. I ignored her, and she got pretty weird. Making Pie charts about me. Talking shit when I was right by her. I confronted her later with my friends and she denied it. i asked her friends and they confirmed my side of the story. She Threatening to report my friends to school. She snitched me out to the school for having lean at a basketball game, twice, same day. When the school couldn't find it on me I went out to my friends car to stash it. Went home and she had actually gone in the car to take it, and give to the school. My old mutal friend between me and ava who is now my ex lol, asked her why she broke up we me. And she said it was because...

Ah, I see the bread. Many thanks to you. 🤝 August 22, 2022 at 12:20AM

I everyone, I'm 22 (M) and no, I've never been in a relationship at all, I've never even kissed yet unluckily. I'm here to figure out why. My condition of kissless virgin is making me uncomfortable because while some years ago it wasn't a problem, now that all my friends talk about relationships related stuff I always feel out of context and jealous of what they have and I still don't have. Ok, I've already understood that many of them are in a relationship only because they are afraid of being alone, and I'm happy that I luckily can or I wouldn't have come this far in life ahahahah, but still I somehow envy them. I don't think my problem comes in confidence: I'm introverted and shy by nature but my friends all agree that I'm a genuine and pleasant person, I'd even consider me not the less interesting guy in the world, since I have various interested (I'd rather call them obsessions). I'm not the most handsome person in the w...

Golf, like any sport, is fun to play but boring to watch. Edit:I half jest. I don't think I have ever met anyone who like watching golf. August 21, 2022 at 11:27PM

The question is a bit rhetorical but lately I’ve been wondering. I’m 26M living in a large city in the south. I’m college educated, have a good job, own my own home, work out almost everyday, would say I’m attractive I guess. I’m social, play a lot of sports and have a large group of friends. I’ve been in therapy since early 2019 and I’m pretty consistent with it. I’ve been single since March 2020 after my last relationship ended. I took time to myself after that relationship ended and didn’t start dating until around November 2020. I’ve spent the last almost two years actively dating. I’ve used dating apps (not religiously) and been on a lot of good dates from there— it just never leads anywhere. I’ve met people through friends and activities— but it never leads anywhere. Most of the time I call it off because I don’t ~feel~ anything. Even when they have all of the things I’m looking for, are a great person and enjoy spending time with them.. I feel something missing. After all this ...

Homemade rhubarb crumble.... With fresh homemade custard none of that powder eggs crap from Birds mmmmmmm Edit it does also go well with a scoop of vanilla ice cream if for a rare occurrence its hot out! (In Scotland) August 20, 2022 at 11:27PM

really sad but i've heard of vets giving doggos some chocolate right before they're euthanized so they're able to pass away with the taste of one of the yummiest treats of all time for the first time in their life. kind of a beautiful tradition. August 20, 2022 at 11:26PM

Bc sex changes the way a person sees the world August 20, 2022 at 11:26PM

This vaguely reminds of FNAF. August 20, 2022 at 11:17PM

Unfortunately I don't have any recommendations but I must say this is exactly why I don't seek a relationship August 20, 2022 at 11:16PM

No,don't exactly enjoy it.The idea of soulmates in general just seems rather too much.You don't need somebody else to be complete,but the joy and feelings you'd get when you find somebody that just gets it must be brilliant.Instead of soulmates,I like when two characters are talentedand smart,just not when they are around each other.Like the moment they are put in a room the IQ within a five miles radius drops to negative numbers. Not necesserelly romantic,just two people who play off each other well and enjoy having fun.Or something like a Tom and Jerry dynamic is always fun,but the roles are interchangeable. August 20, 2022 at 11:15PM

"add me on SEX" Nah, I prefer VIDEO GAMES August 20, 2022 at 11:11PM

Well. I'd say, just identify as gray ace until you see something that definitely indicates you need to change. Labels won't capture anything. August 20, 2022 at 12:25AM

I just feel like there’s so many labels that i’m not even sure which one i fit in. Aegosexual always felt the closest but i feel like aegosexual isn’t the exact definition of what i feel. That’s why sometimes i feel like i could be gray ace since that’s quite a wide spectrum that’s easier to identify as but still. I feel like i don’t feel enough sexual attraction to be a gray ace :/ August 20, 2022 at 12:12AM

That's the real one. August 20, 2022 at 12:09AM

Hi everyone. I'm a bit new to dating so I feel like I'm more prone to overthinking things, I could really use some advice though. Last Thursday (8/11) I went on a fourth date this this guy I met from Tinder. I really like him a lot and I thought it had went well, we even scheduled a fifth date for the following weekend and he seemed really into it. When I got home, I thanked him for a great time. While he's not big on texting, we had texted each other after all our dates, so this wasn't out of the ordinary. He didn't respond for five days though. I honestly thought he was ghosting me but he finally texted me back on Tuesday night - he apologized, cancelled our plans for Sunday because he said he'll be traveling, and instead proposed a new time for next Wednesday, which I agreed to. I was happy and decided to look at his Tinder profile because ngl, sometimes I like to look at his photos lol. But I noticed he had added a new one. We've had no talks about ex...

thank) I drew it myself) I have the full version in my posts somewhere August 19, 2022 at 11:39PM

I agree with all the others. If you do use something like tinder, put asexual in your bio and have that conversation as soon as you feel ready or like the relationship is heading in that direction. Personally, I have a base conversation about it over text because it’s easier for me to say no and not get tongue tied when I’m not on the spot. Dating other aces can be a good option like knightfenris said although I haven’t dated any so I can’t give you specifics on that. I feel you though it sucks but keep trying it’s just like finding a match for you and other ways you’ll find someone it might just take a bit. August 19, 2022 at 11:36PM

Has to do with shifting hormones around that time. Apparently for some people (including me apparently) the uptick is associated with a rise in testosterone levels that occurs during your period. August 18, 2022 at 11:32PM

I recently went on a date with someone which seemed to go well. I was genuinely interested in getting to know him better and I felt it was reciprocated. The end of the date he mentioned he’d like to take me to dinner and we exchanged numbers and talked the day after. It’s been almost a week since the date now and he’s slowly fading I feel like. What am I missing here? I am just curious what’s behind this behavior. Submitted August 18, 2022 at 11:45PM I recently went on a date with someone which seemed to go well. I was genuinely interested in getting to know him better and I felt it was reciprocated. The end of the date he mentioned he’d like to take me to dinner and we exchanged numbers and talked the day after. It’s been almost a week since the date now and he’s slowly fading I feel like.What am I missing here? I am just curious what’s behind this behavior.

Thoughts on this? I am a shy girl and said no. What does it mean? Lol Submitted August 18, 2022 at 11:50PM Thoughts on this? I am a shy girl and said no. What does it mean? Lol

Is drinking a dealbreaker for those of you in the dating pool? As in, if you drink, your partner has to as well, or if you don’t drink, you want to find someone who also doesn’t? Same applies for smoking, etc. Submitted August 18, 2022 at 11:52PM Is drinking a dealbreaker for those of you in the dating pool? As in, if you drink, your partner has to as well, or if you don’t drink, you want to find someone who also doesn’t? Same applies for smoking, etc.

You tell me I’ve been dodging you all these years we finally get on the stage where we are talking on the phone but mostly texting but the day I have a bad day it’s just doesn’t bother you? You didn’t bother to ask what was wrong or anything. But to be quiet honesty I think he wants to just fuck me. I’m just body I guess. Submitted August 18, 2022 at 11:53PM You tell me I’ve been dodging you all these years we finally get on the stage where we are talking on the phone but mostly texting but the day I have a bad day it’s just doesn’t bother you? You didn’t bother to ask what was wrong or anything. But to be quiet honesty I think he wants to just fuck me. I’m just body I guess.

So basically I've (16m) been messaging a girl (16f) I have a crush on for around 2 weeks and it's been going well. For context we both have ADHD and I'm also personally dealing with insecurity but that's healing. I'm trying not to be creepy and push when not interested. A while back we thought of playing Minecraft together and recently we planned to play Wednesday. She ask, when I wanted to play and I responded but then she didn't get back until the next day and said sorry. So I asked when she said she wasn't sure because she was busy and then I told her I had to go to a theme park (I didn't remember what time/day we were leaving and was hoping I could play before but it's clear it wasn't working) and later she relied she agreed it wouldn't work. Then even later in the day I asked what time tomorrow works and she hasn't gotten back yet but does live 6 hours ahead and sometimes does that so not too off. I'm concerned if she doesn'...

She's just being a bitch about it, no excuse August 18, 2022 at 11:31PM

I’ve been dating my GF for 2 months and just wanted to ask since I’m not sure. Currently she’s on her period and this morning during our facetime call that she wasn’t feeling well. So I wanted to ask you guys would it be better to text/call her in advance or surprise her with takeout + some of her favorite snacks/drinks? Submitted August 17, 2022 at 11:45PM I’ve been dating my GF for 2 months and just wanted to ask since I’m not sure.Currently she’s on her period and this morning during our facetime call that she wasn’t feeling well.So I wanted to ask you guys would it be better to text/call her in advance or surprise her with takeout + some of her favorite snacks/drinks?

So I (m21) am texting this girl (f21) and idk what to think. You see we're pretty good friends irl and I've developed a crush on her. We're talking just fine irl and I think there's even some game going on. But idk with texting. I'm trying to spark some convo but it's hard. We don't have much in common. So I'm trying just those generic questions or just bulshitting around to find a common topic. Not much luck yet. What's the main problem is respond time. On very rare occasions she replies immediately. Usuallly it's a few hours to a day. Someitmes even 2 days or she doesn't repsond at all. She replies sometimes with text and I can't read much from that. But sometimes it's a voice message where she sounds happy to speak to me. Idk how to describe it but it's this sort of happy voice with a giggle here and there. On the other hand we have a group chat with a few friends her included. And as I'm waiting for her repsonse I can...

Is it common to be attracted to a person of the same race. I find women that are white more attractive, and the women that have found me attractive are white too. Do you see the same in most cases? Submitted August 18, 2022 at 12:00AM Is it common to be attracted to a person of the same race. I find women that are white more attractive, and the women that have found me attractive are white too. Do you see the same in most cases?

i've been talking to this guy for almost 3 months and we live about 5 hours away from each other driving. i saw him in person about 2 weeks ago. a while ago he mentioned visiting my city and recently i brought it up again -- specifically to come in the next few months. he said he had a busy travel schedule with family and wouldn't be sure if he could visit in the next 2 months. but he said he would pay for me to travel to his city. i've never been in a relationship for context ( i am over 18) so idk if this is normal for people to do (in terms of offering to pay for travel) -- so i was wondering if this is typical for long distance relationships and relationships in general? Submitted August 18, 2022 at 12:04AM i've been talking to this guy for almost 3 months and we live about 5 hours away from each other driving. i saw him in person about 2 weeks ago. a while ago he mentioned visiting my city and recently i brought it up again -- specifically to come in the nex...

she’s cute as hell, but I no longer hit on women at their workplace; just no longer believe it’s the right thing to do, regardless of my attraction level 🫠. Submitted August 18, 2022 at 12:04AM she’s cute as hell, but I no longer hit on women at their workplace; just no longer believe it’s the right thing to do, regardless of my attraction level 🫠.

How do you tell the difference between a girl treating you as a fling vs a girl dating you? We are both 20M & 20F and work together. We have been going on dates for almost 2 months. First two dates were romantic but after that they have been more sexual. She has been creating the sexual tension and initiating all sex-related acts. She is touchy, sometimes in a romantic way and sometimes in a sexual way, but isn’t afraid of PDA. We do talk a lot on our dates but have not had any serious conversations yet. Outside of dating and work, we occasionally text but they are usually to set up dates. She does not initiate text convos to ask about my day. She likes spending time with me but if I get flirty or share feelings she gets kinda cold. Maybe this isn’t a fling? She did make future plans to see me (We are both going away for school but not far apart) But her actions during dates feel too sexualized (I’m ok with it but I don’t want it to be just sexual) so I am unsure if I am jus...

Same, imo I'm a really loving person but yea could be seen in a way I don't intend August 17, 2022 at 11:32PM

I'd say yes. You may experience sexual attraction, but it's not consistent. When you shake it out, your behavior is the same as a typical sex repulsed asexual. I don't feel like there's a point in forcing you into your own little empty cardboard box when we have a perfectly serviceable hotel with plenty of room for you. August 17, 2022 at 11:32PM

It’s not just you I get very frustrated at people constantly conflating the two, and I’m aroace ! I hate that people use me as an example of asexuality without separating the aro component of my orientation. August 17, 2022 at 12:15AM

No worries, I don't think your answer is harsh and I kinda agree with you. I really didn't mean to say that the LGBT+ community is dangerous and toxic, that's why I tried to nuance by saying that the support provided by some people is really cool (and there are many more positive aspects). Tbh, I never heard about the term "exclusionists" before today. I really thought that most people didn't care about the problems in the community because I've never seen anyone talking about it (except maybe talking about aphobia in this sub). I think I'm only seeing the negative aspects of the community because it's the most noticeable. Oh and FYI, I don't really hang out in groups, I just see posts on social medias sometimes that kinda make me lose faith in humanity xd My bad if it's already a well-known issue, I didn't know about it and I simply wanted to know if anyone felt like me about this topic. Oh and btw I know it's the same for ev...