How do I actually date??

For reference, I’m 26f, Puerto Rican, from NYC. I have dated 3 men seriously in my life, we lived together and everything. All 3 of them abused me one actually held me hostage and tried to kill me multiple times. I’ve been cheated on by them as well as men I’ve dated casually. I’ve been in therapy for years and really wanna date someone seriously but it’s like everyone is just “looking for vibes” or they lie about being in a relationship or they have kids or are drug addicts etc I can go on and on. I’ve tried dating apps, I’ve tried going to bars but I don’t drink, I meet friends of friends and friends of family etc I’ve joined groups and taken social classes with others and done meetups. But, no one wants anything serious. I’m starting to think I’m hideous.

I have some health issues but one being and autoimmune disease, if I catch certain STDs I can die. Men won’t even take an std test for me. I can’t do casual/fwb/hookups bc men usually sleep with multiple women and that increases the risk of me dying basically. I feel so lost. Ive been trying to find someone for a few years now and I haven’t had sex in a year now bc I’m so scared. Where are people meeting each other?? How do you find someone real??



Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:10AM

For reference, I’m 26f, Puerto Rican, from NYC. I have dated 3 men seriously in my life, we lived together and everything. All 3 of them abused me one actually held me hostage and tried to kill me multiple times. I’ve been cheated on by them as well as men I’ve dated casually. I’ve been in therapy for years and really wanna date someone seriously but it’s like everyone is just “looking for vibes” or they lie about being in a relationship or they have kids or are drug addicts etc I can go on and on. I’ve tried dating apps, I’ve tried going to bars but I don’t drink, I meet friends of friends and friends of family etc I’ve joined groups and taken social classes with others and done meetups. But, no one wants anything serious. I’m starting to think I’m hideous.I have some health issues but one being and autoimmune disease, if I catch certain STDs I can die. Men won’t even take an std test for me. I can’t do casual/fwb/hookups bc men usually sleep with multiple women and that increases the risk of me dying basically. I feel so lost. Ive been trying to find someone for a few years now and I haven’t had sex in a year now bc I’m so scared. Where are people meeting each other?? How do you find someone real??
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