broke things off with fwb because i wanted to find a relationship, now he wants to date?

i (26f) came to the realization that i wanted to focus on finding a relationship, so i decided to (respectfully and politely) shut things down with my fwb (30m). we had a really nice conversation over text where i was honest with him, told him my reason for cutting things off, and let him know i'd be happy to stay friends. he agreed - it was honestly the most mature conversation i've had with a guy in a really long time. basically, in summation, he said that a relationship wasn't top priority for him right now, but he wasn't completely closed off to the idea.

anyway, cut to a few days later, he's texting me more than he's ever texted me before - even when we were fwbs. bantering, kinda flirting. just good chat. he bartends at a local place me and my friends frequent. after i left there the other night (i chatted - and yes, admittedly, flirted - with him and gave him a hug before leaving), he texted me telling me how pretty i looked. i texted him back and asked jokingly if i could get free drinks next time. he said "free drinks are dating privilege only," and keeps texting me asking to hang out "as homies."

i'm a little confused. why wasn't he this interested/responsive when we were just fwbs? getting a text back from him was like pulling teeth, and he only ever reached out when he wanted to have sex. it's almost like i took a kid's toy away and now he's acting super well-behaved to get it back, you know? (weird, analogy, but it's all i can think of) what do you guys think? is he only acting like this to sway me back into a fwb situation, or do you think he's genuinely interested in dating?



Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:02AM

i (26f) came to the realization that i wanted to focus on finding a relationship, so i decided to (respectfully and politely) shut things down with my fwb (30m). we had a really nice conversation over text where i was honest with him, told him my reason for cutting things off, and let him know i'd be happy to stay friends. he agreed - it was honestly the most mature conversation i've had with a guy in a really long time. basically, in summation, he said that a relationship wasn't top priority for him right now, but he wasn't completely closed off to the idea.anyway, cut to a few days later, he's texting me more than he's ever texted me before - even when we were fwbs. bantering, kinda flirting. just good chat. he bartends at a local place me and my friends frequent. after i left there the other night (i chatted - and yes, admittedly, flirted - with him and gave him a hug before leaving), he texted me telling me how pretty i looked. i texted him back and asked jokingly if i could get free drinks next time. he said "free drinks are dating privilege only," and keeps texting me asking to hang out "as homies."i'm a little confused. why wasn't he this interested/responsive when we were just fwbs? getting a text back from him was like pulling teeth, and he only ever reached out when he wanted to have sex. it's almost like i took a kid's toy away and now he's acting super well-behaved to get it back, you know? (weird, analogy, but it's all i can think of) what do you guys think? is he only acting like this to sway me back into a fwb situation, or do you think he's genuinely interested in dating?
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