Sexual incompatibilities- how do I either get over this or let him down gently? Does size (of any kind! Matter?)

I realise I may sound like an incredibly shallow person for this post. I don’t know, I’m sanity checking myself and I’m properly wrestling with this! I am fully expecting to be torn apart for this, but I don’t really know where else to turn and maybe you can set my head straight. Help. No one talks about this stuff.

There are all kinds of incompatiblities like desire/frequency, gentle vs rough to what each person is in to. I’ve also noticed with a couple previous partners that we just didn’t fit together well, is that normal?

Not the first time this has happened to me, one was online dating but this one is at work so I can’t just claim we’d be better as friends and then just slow fade out. I don’t want anyone to get hurt!

I met a guy and he seems pretty great! Don’t know him all that well yet. We’ve only been on a few dates. Lots of chemistry. Recently we had sex though. And I discovered not for the first time that he was underwhelmingly packing. At eyeball maybe 3-3.5 inches. Same as the previous guy. I’m used to much bigger, like double so maybe the problem really is me. But I didn’t enjoy the penetration part of sex which is the part I like the most with a man. It wasn’t great, I couldn’t really feel it and that’s the part I enjoy the most.

Do I just soldier on and see if it grows on me, pun intended. Or do I find some way to politely extract myself and if so how do I do that without hurting his feelings? It’s not like it’s something he can change. Im sure there are women who like a guy on the smaller size? A friend of mine has certainly said she’d be scared of a guy 6inches plus came at her. I’m just not one of them?

Or am I just a horrible person?



Submitted May 17, 2019 at 01:14PM

I realise I may sound like an incredibly shallow person for this post. I don’t know, I’m sanity checking myself and I’m properly wrestling with this! I am fully expecting to be torn apart for this, but I don’t really know where else to turn and maybe you can set my head straight. Help. No one talks about this stuff.There are all kinds of incompatiblities like desire/frequency, gentle vs rough to what each person is in to. I’ve also noticed with a couple previous partners that we just didn’t fit together well, is that normal?Not the first time this has happened to me, one was online dating but this one is at work so I can’t just claim we’d be better as friends and then just slow fade out. I don’t want anyone to get hurt!I met a guy and he seems pretty great! Don’t know him all that well yet. We’ve only been on a few dates. Lots of chemistry. Recently we had sex though. And I discovered not for the first time that he was underwhelmingly packing. At eyeball maybe 3-3.5 inches. Same as the previous guy. I’m used to much bigger, like double so maybe the problem really is me. But I didn’t enjoy the penetration part of sex which is the part I like the most with a man. It wasn’t great, I couldn’t really feel it and that’s the part I enjoy the most.Do I just soldier on and see if it grows on me, pun intended. Or do I find some way to politely extract myself and if so how do I do that without hurting his feelings? It’s not like it’s something he can change. Im sure there are women who like a guy on the smaller size? A friend of mine has certainly said she’d be scared of a guy 6inches plus came at her. I’m just not one of them?Or am I just a horrible person?
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