Am I clingy or is he a ghost?

I (34f) met a man (35m) through online dating about 2.5 months ago. We have a lot in common, divorced, kids, demanding jobs and we get along really really well. He’s the first guy I’ve dated since my divorce that I actually like and could see a future with.

In person he’s amazing, thoughtful, fun, attentive, open. All our dates have been very fun and I feel totally at ease with him. He even planned and executed an over night get away last month that was a blast. Because of our crazy schedules we’ve only seen each other five times. That includes several overnights and the weekend away. This doesn’t bother me, I am half of the scheduling nightmare.

But there’s one problem, the communication between dates is minimal and getting worse. He’s never been a big texter and I don’t want the constant chit chat so that’s fine with me. But as of now the average time to reply is 12-48 hours. Example: I reach out to say I have a weird day off work to see if maybe we could get together, no response for 36 hours until I reach out and ask if things are ok.

He’s really swamped with work and some projects he’s taken on and I totally get that so I am trying to be patient and give him space. BUT it takes what? Two minutes to respond to a message? So earlier this week I reached out saying that I understand he’s got a lot on his plate but it would be really nice to hear from him more. He responded initially kind of defensive (he is very busy right now) but apologized and said he’d do better. I’m not a mind reader and from the outside it felt like I was being ghosted into oblivion. Day to day I have no idea if I will ever see this guy again and it’s wearing me out.

Since that chat I haven’t heard from him. It’s been two and a half days.

I already redownloaded tinder, but haven’t made my profile. I am hopeful but unconvinced. I don’t want to throw away a potential good match for nothing.

Am I being crazy? Have my feelings for him made me a crazy girl? Is he undatable? All perspectives welcome.



Submitted May 17, 2019 at 03:29PM

I (34f) met a man (35m) through online dating about 2.5 months ago. We have a lot in common, divorced, kids, demanding jobs and we get along really really well. He’s the first guy I’ve dated since my divorce that I actually like and could see a future with.In person he’s amazing, thoughtful, fun, attentive, open. All our dates have been very fun and I feel totally at ease with him. He even planned and executed an over night get away last month that was a blast. Because of our crazy schedules we’ve only seen each other five times. That includes several overnights and the weekend away. This doesn’t bother me, I am half of the scheduling nightmare.But there’s one problem, the communication between dates is minimal and getting worse. He’s never been a big texter and I don’t want the constant chit chat so that’s fine with me. But as of now the average time to reply is 12-48 hours. Example: I reach out to say I have a weird day off work to see if maybe we could get together, no response for 36 hours until I reach out and ask if things are ok.He’s really swamped with work and some projects he’s taken on and I totally get that so I am trying to be patient and give him space. BUT it takes what? Two minutes to respond to a message? So earlier this week I reached out saying that I understand he’s got a lot on his plate but it would be really nice to hear from him more. He responded initially kind of defensive (he is very busy right now) but apologized and said he’d do better. I’m not a mind reader and from the outside it felt like I was being ghosted into oblivion. Day to day I have no idea if I will ever see this guy again and it’s wearing me out.Since that chat I haven’t heard from him. It’s been two and a half days.I already redownloaded tinder, but haven’t made my profile. I am hopeful but unconvinced. I don’t want to throw away a potential good match for nothing.Am I being crazy? Have my feelings for him made me a crazy girl? Is he undatable? All perspectives welcome.
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