didn’t think someone like her existed

so basically, we met through mutual friends and were both going through the lowest points in our lives because we had both gotten dumped a couple months prior to us becoming friends. we always had tension between us bc we were physically attracted to each other and everyone in our friend group wanted us to hook up but we were both 1. still in ‘love’ with our previous partner and 2. were too scared and insecure to actually go through with it. but, eventually our closest mutual friend got sent away to a boarding school and so we were left alone because with her leaving, her boyfriend promptly left the friend group and our other friend and i had a falling out so we were left with only each other. now, we had been hanging out alone a bit by then but nothing more than friendly stuff and talking about our ex’s (trying to get over them). this was strange bc she’s a shy person and i’m a pretty outgoing person but i wasn’t always that way and so i had to MAKE myself outgoing and so i had to make conversation and all that. but, when the group fell apart all we had was each other and we began hanging out every day and growing closer and closer as friends. she knew my ex bc i had brought her around a lot (in an attempt to win her back) but nothing more than that, and she was completely cool with it even though her and i both knew my ex was very toxic but i was a desperate teenager who was seeking instant gratification. so, past that we hung out literally every single day of summer 2018 and by the end of it we had made out a couple times and attempted to hook up but we were just too awkward and scared to make it happen (didn’t help our only place of trying was my VW Jetta which is a pretty small car) but soon, summer ended and senior year started. we still hung out every day after school and our hang out spot evolved into her room and we would just chill there and watch hours and hours youtube and all that good stuff. eventually, we attempted to hu once more but i wasn’t comfortable enough and it ‘wouldn’t work’ due to a number of reasons. but we did other things and eventually we did end up hooking up and that started to be a regular thing. flash forward a little bit and i was suddenly realizing i had feelings for her but i had absolutely no idea how to approach this situation because i was terrified of 1. losing her as a friend (she was my best friend) and 2. because i wasn’t quite sure she was totally over her ex yet as i was (finally). i had a multitude of conversations with quite a few people as i began to realize my feelings for her because i needed to get it out and get advice from others bc i couldn’t stand the thought of losing her as a friend if for whatever reason she was weirded out by my feelings. this was tearing me up inside and i had no idea what to do. so we continued hooking up for a couple of more months and it began to be like we were dating but just without the title. whenever we went out with my friends we’d show PDA and she didn’t mind (of course i always asked before trying anything to avoid anything being uncomfortable for her) but i didn’t wanna ask in front of her friends out of fear that she might feel pressured and do something she didn’t wanna do. we were very close by this point, we’d been VERY close for a while now but it was evolving super fast and i began to assume she had feelings for me too but couldn’t be quite sure and didn’t wanna jump the gun and ruin my one shot at this. after a bit we had multiple conversations talking about how “we know we aren’t dating, but we’d lowkey be hurt if we got with anyone else.” things got very real around january and i finally one night got the balls (after many MANY hype talks with my homies prior to this) to tell her i had feelings for her on one of my big long talks of everything that was on my mind. she waited for me to finish my complete thought and then busted out with the fact that she had feelings for me too. holy shit i cant even express to you how great that felt. but then later that night we officially began dating with a title and all and literally nobody was surprised because everybody knew it was bound to happen. you don’t just spend damn near every waking moment of your life with somebody and NOT catch feelings in some way. anyways, long story short we’ve been dating for about 3 months now and i’ve graduated high school (she’s still in school) and we’ve been doing very well. now i’m not one to be over dramatic, i keep shit very real and i have a good sense of reality and am very self aware so when i say this i am not exaggerating in the slightest, this girl is my soulmate. i tried convincing myself my ex was the love of my life for so long but completely glossed over the things i didn’t like about her. this girl.. is like nothing i could of ever wished for. she is so much more. i have absolutely no idea what i did to deserve this gift straight from God because i have been a complete piece of shit the last couple years of my life. i have never met somebody who listens to all my bullshit, cares about my mental state, puts me first, values me just as much as i value her, and puts up with all my drug ‘habits’. it took me far too long to trust her completely because i have major trust issues from past experiences that have now been a part of my every day life but i have never had somebody i could genuinely trust with my very life. i cannot express my love for this girl and how thankful i am to have her in my life. this isn’t some puppy love that i’m hyped over, this is true love man. she is the epitome of the woman i never thought actually existed. she’s incredibly smart, loyal as all holy hell, absolutely stunning in every possible way, understanding, a GREAT listener, mature, secure with herself, she truly gets me which is so fucking rare, the most trustworthy person i have ever known, and best of all, she’s mine. i’m a little fucked in the head to say the least, and she takes it all in and accepts it and gives me real, educated and thought out responses. she truly digests everything i say and knows i don’t mean them in any sort of bad way. i have never known a girl (they’re out there obviously, but have never met one until now) that doesn’t get offended by anything you say, knows how to take and give a harsh joke, secure with herself and our relationship, has true, non crazy REAL LOGIC, is practical, so fucking smart it’s unreal, understands if you said something stupid you didn’t mean it and doesn’t freak out, i mean this girl hates drama just as much as i do we have never fought a single time and we’ve spent multiple nights together in a row and not a single complaint. i have genuinely never been annoyed or mad at her once and the same goes for me. it’s almost too smooth, like it’s too perfect. i can not say enough about her. which is a good reason for why i came here, bc i tell her this shit ALL the time so she knows how much i value her and love her i just can’t go on and on about her to other people bc nobody wants to hear that mushy shit. but i thought maybe here at least one person will read a very short version of our story and get a warm feeling in their heart. this is a very sappy post but just i cant not talk about her. absolutely perfect. i genuinely thought i’d forever have to deal with girls that are just so sucked up in drama and bs and freak out and argue and just insane shit but no. i’m sorry if i’m coming off degrading, i don’t mean to. to everyone who’s waiting for somebody to pop up in their life that is truly their soulmate and understands you and loves you for your faults and your glories trust me, they’re out there. i didn’t think somebody like her existed until i met her. she’s helped me through so much shit and puts up with my embarrassing mental/emotional breakdowns and makes sure i feel no shame in showing her that weak side of me. she is the most important person in my life and that’s coming from a HUGE mommas boy who refused to ever let a girl come anywhere close to her level of importance. i just can’t express with words my genuine love for this girl. if i ever lost her idk what the hell i would do with myself and that’s why i swear to God himself that i won’t do a damn thing to ever let anyone or anything come between us. but, if the day came and she had to leave me i would understand and cope with it however i could and could never ever hurt her. she could fuck me over worse than anyone ever has and i would still love her to death. i can never forget her mentally, but physically she’s also left her mark. she gave me a stick and poke for my first tattoo on my leg that says L☹️VE in honor of lil peep who’s gotten me through everything as well who is damn near equally important to me and it symbolized that my ex had taught me the first lesson of becoming a man which was to love and lose, but she came nowhere near how important this girl is to me. the tattoo now has a new meaning, that this girl has taught me what TRUE love is. i know this sounds really dramatic and over the top for a high school relationship and i completely realize how this looks to the naked eye but i can’t even express to you how serious i am. this girl is my home and my family. without her i am nothing but a corpse floating through existence with absolutely no emotion. and the best part about it all is she feels the exact same way. and it’s insane to me that ANYONE could like me but let alone love me and trust me as much as this girl does. we have been told by just about everyone we know how healthy and real our relationship is and it’s refreshing to know other people see it for what it is. and coming from a really judgey crowd that means a lot. with her i can take on the whole world and get through it just fine. with her i am whole. again, i can’t even comprehend how somebody can feel this way about me with as much as i dislike myself sometimes, and never get annoyed with my constant bullshit and just truly care. never had someone who cares this much about me and knows me this deeply. i look forward to our long future together, because i know it will last. i feel it in my heart. and that’s coming from a guy who has a very pessimistic point of view of the world and has a hard time believing good things will happen let alone last. i have never been one to talk about marriage or having kids with a high school girlfriend bc it’s never been that serious and no matter how i felt about them i couldn’t ever see me genuinely being able to stay with them and put up with them for that long but this girl, i could spend the rest of my life with her and be completely content. absolutely no reason at all to ever cheat, break up, or ever give up on us. she’s the realest person i have ever met and that speaks volumes about her character bc most people i know are fake as shit and love to front and put on a completely false face. so in conclusion to this long ass post, i have finally met the person i’ve been looking for for so long and it’s completely genuine and i wouldn’t want it any other way. trust me, the person for you is out there i was just lucky enough to find her so early and in such a vulnerable point in my life. this has given me a whole new perspective on relationships and believe in true soul mates. i am ready to take on any challenges life gives us, and ready to complete the rest of my life with this woman. i love you lxiedrew, more than you’ll ever know. i can’t even fathom how important you are to me and some day we’ll be able to look back at our early days and laugh at how real we thought our relationship was in high school when we are on our own and living out our dreams together.

Also, no one else would EVER be able to sit through countless hours of peep playing and me talking about him constantly. dude is my fucking idol and it’s unbelievable how much our brains and ideas on life were so similar. and you sit through it all and actually listen because you know it’s important to me and understand how alike we are and can get a look on how i see things. i can’t thank you enough for letting me speak any thought that comes to mind with absolutely no judgement. it’s so rare you find somebody you can speak about the deepest, most depressing shit imaginable with and won’t think of you any different on the other side of the conversation. if i didn’t have you to talk to about the shit on my mind i can’t even imagine where i’d be today. so i have everything to thank you for, and thank you for giving me somebody to lean on but not depend on. we live our own lives and respect each other’s individuality and our differences. when it comes down to it nobody is controlling anybody or dictating their decisions for them and that’s also very important. so thank you for being my rock, and i’m glad you know all of this already. sorry for this long ass post, if you made it here you’re a real g and you have now seen the most emotion i have ever put forth to the public. thanks for the read, and if you haven’t already, i pray that someday you find the happiness i’ve found. it’s 5AM and should probably get some sleep lol, gn y’all.

Submitted April 17, 2019 at 12:33PM

so basically, we met through mutual friends and were both going through the lowest points in our lives because we had both gotten dumped a couple months prior to us becoming friends. we always had tension between us bc we were physically attracted to each other and everyone in our friend group wanted us to hook up but we were both 1. still in ‘love’ with our previous partner and 2. were too scared and insecure to actually go through with it. but, eventually our closest mutual friend got sent away to a boarding school and so we were left alone because with her leaving, her boyfriend promptly left the friend group and our other friend and i had a falling out so we were left with only each other. now, we had been hanging out alone a bit by then but nothing more than friendly stuff and talking about our ex’s (trying to get over them). this was strange bc she’s a shy person and i’m a pretty outgoing person but i wasn’t always that way and so i had to MAKE myself outgoing and so i had to make conversation and all that. but, when the group fell apart all we had was each other and we began hanging out every day and growing closer and closer as friends. she knew my ex bc i had brought her around a lot (in an attempt to win her back) but nothing more than that, and she was completely cool with it even though her and i both knew my ex was very toxic but i was a desperate teenager who was seeking instant gratification. so, past that we hung out literally every single day of summer 2018 and by the end of it we had made out a couple times and attempted to hook up but we were just too awkward and scared to make it happen (didn’t help our only place of trying was my VW Jetta which is a pretty small car) but soon, summer ended and senior year started. we still hung out every day after school and our hang out spot evolved into her room and we would just chill there and watch hours and hours youtube and all that good stuff. eventually, we attempted to hu once more but i wasn’t comfortable enough and it ‘wouldn’t work’ due to a number of reasons. but we did other things and eventually we did end up hooking up and that started to be a regular thing. flash forward a little bit and i was suddenly realizing i had feelings for her but i had absolutely no idea how to approach this situation because i was terrified of 1. losing her as a friend (she was my best friend) and 2. because i wasn’t quite sure she was totally over her ex yet as i was (finally). i had a multitude of conversations with quite a few people as i began to realize my feelings for her because i needed to get it out and get advice from others bc i couldn’t stand the thought of losing her as a friend if for whatever reason she was weirded out by my feelings. this was tearing me up inside and i had no idea what to do. so we continued hooking up for a couple of more months and it began to be like we were dating but just without the title. whenever we went out with my friends we’d show PDA and she didn’t mind (of course i always asked before trying anything to avoid anything being uncomfortable for her) but i didn’t wanna ask in front of her friends out of fear that she might feel pressured and do something she didn’t wanna do. we were very close by this point, we’d been VERY close for a while now but it was evolving super fast and i began to assume she had feelings for me too but couldn’t be quite sure and didn’t wanna jump the gun and ruin my one shot at this. after a bit we had multiple conversations talking about how “we know we aren’t dating, but we’d lowkey be hurt if we got with anyone else.” things got very real around january and i finally one night got the balls (after many MANY hype talks with my homies prior to this) to tell her i had feelings for her on one of my big long talks of everything that was on my mind. she waited for me to finish my complete thought and then busted out with the fact that she had feelings for me too. holy shit i cant even express to you how great that felt. but then later that night we officially began dating with a title and all and literally nobody was surprised because everybody knew it was bound to happen. you don’t just spend damn near every waking moment of your life with somebody and NOT catch feelings in some way. anyways, long story short we’ve been dating for about 3 months now and i’ve graduated high school (she’s still in school) and we’ve been doing very well. now i’m not one to be over dramatic, i keep shit very real and i have a good sense of reality and am very self aware so when i say this i am not exaggerating in the slightest, this girl is my soulmate. i tried convincing myself my ex was the love of my life for so long but completely glossed over the things i didn’t like about her. this girl.. is like nothing i could of ever wished for. she is so much more. i have absolutely no idea what i did to deserve this gift straight from God because i have been a complete piece of shit the last couple years of my life. i have never met somebody who listens to all my bullshit, cares about my mental state, puts me first, values me just as much as i value her, and puts up with all my drug ‘habits’. it took me far too long to trust her completely because i have major trust issues from past experiences that have now been a part of my every day life but i have never had somebody i could genuinely trust with my very life. i cannot express my love for this girl and how thankful i am to have her in my life. this isn’t some puppy love that i’m hyped over, this is true love man. she is the epitome of the woman i never thought actually existed. she’s incredibly smart, loyal as all holy hell, absolutely stunning in every possible way, understanding, a GREAT listener, mature, secure with herself, she truly gets me which is so fucking rare, the most trustworthy person i have ever known, and best of all, she’s mine. i’m a little fucked in the head to say the least, and she takes it all in and accepts it and gives me real, educated and thought out responses. she truly digests everything i say and knows i don’t mean them in any sort of bad way. i have never known a girl (they’re out there obviously, but have never met one until now) that doesn’t get offended by anything you say, knows how to take and give a harsh joke, secure with herself and our relationship, has true, non crazy REAL LOGIC, is practical, so fucking smart it’s unreal, understands if you said something stupid you didn’t mean it and doesn’t freak out, i mean this girl hates drama just as much as i do we have never fought a single time and we’ve spent multiple nights together in a row and not a single complaint. i have genuinely never been annoyed or mad at her once and the same goes for me. it’s almost too smooth, like it’s too perfect. i can not say enough about her. which is a good reason for why i came here, bc i tell her this shit ALL the time so she knows how much i value her and love her i just can’t go on and on about her to other people bc nobody wants to hear that mushy shit. but i thought maybe here at least one person will read a very short version of our story and get a warm feeling in their heart. this is a very sappy post but just i cant not talk about her. absolutely perfect. i genuinely thought i’d forever have to deal with girls that are just so sucked up in drama and bs and freak out and argue and just insane shit but no. i’m sorry if i’m coming off degrading, i don’t mean to. to everyone who’s waiting for somebody to pop up in their life that is truly their soulmate and understands you and loves you for your faults and your glories trust me, they’re out there. i didn’t think somebody like her existed until i met her. she’s helped me through so much shit and puts up with my embarrassing mental/emotional breakdowns and makes sure i feel no shame in showing her that weak side of me. she is the most important person in my life and that’s coming from a HUGE mommas boy who refused to ever let a girl come anywhere close to her level of importance. i just can’t express with words my genuine love for this girl. if i ever lost her idk what the hell i would do with myself and that’s why i swear to God himself that i won’t do a damn thing to ever let anyone or anything come between us. but, if the day came and she had to leave me i would understand and cope with it however i could and could never ever hurt her. she could fuck me over worse than anyone ever has and i would still love her to death. i can never forget her mentally, but physically she’s also left her mark. she gave me a stick and poke for my first tattoo on my leg that says L☹️VE in honor of lil peep who’s gotten me through everything as well who is damn near equally important to me and it symbolized that my ex had taught me the first lesson of becoming a man which was to love and lose, but she came nowhere near how important this girl is to me. the tattoo now has a new meaning, that this girl has taught me what TRUE love is. i know this sounds really dramatic and over the top for a high school relationship and i completely realize how this looks to the naked eye but i can’t even express to you how serious i am. this girl is my home and my family. without her i am nothing but a corpse floating through existence with absolutely no emotion. and the best part about it all is she feels the exact same way. and it’s insane to me that ANYONE could like me but let alone love me and trust me as much as this girl does. we have been told by just about everyone we know how healthy and real our relationship is and it’s refreshing to know other people see it for what it is. and coming from a really judgey crowd that means a lot. with her i can take on the whole world and get through it just fine. with her i am whole. again, i can’t even comprehend how somebody can feel this way about me with as much as i dislike myself sometimes, and never get annoyed with my constant bullshit and just truly care. never had someone who cares this much about me and knows me this deeply. i look forward to our long future together, because i know it will last. i feel it in my heart. and that’s coming from a guy who has a very pessimistic point of view of the world and has a hard time believing good things will happen let alone last. i have never been one to talk about marriage or having kids with a high school girlfriend bc it’s never been that serious and no matter how i felt about them i couldn’t ever see me genuinely being able to stay with them and put up with them for that long but this girl, i could spend the rest of my life with her and be completely content. absolutely no reason at all to ever cheat, break up, or ever give up on us. she’s the realest person i have ever met and that speaks volumes about her character bc most people i know are fake as shit and love to front and put on a completely false face. so in conclusion to this long ass post, i have finally met the person i’ve been looking for for so long and it’s completely genuine and i wouldn’t want it any other way. trust me, the person for you is out there i was just lucky enough to find her so early and in such a vulnerable point in my life. this has given me a whole new perspective on relationships and believe in true soul mates. i am ready to take on any challenges life gives us, and ready to complete the rest of my life with this woman. i love you lxiedrew, more than you’ll ever know. i can’t even fathom how important you are to me and some day we’ll be able to look back at our early days and laugh at how real we thought our relationship was in high school when we are on our own and living out our dreams together.Also, no one else would EVER be able to sit through countless hours of peep playing and me talking about him constantly. dude is my fucking idol and it’s unbelievable how much our brains and ideas on life were so similar. and you sit through it all and actually listen because you know it’s important to me and understand how alike we are and can get a look on how i see things. i can’t thank you enough for letting me speak any thought that comes to mind with absolutely no judgement. it’s so rare you find somebody you can speak about the deepest, most depressing shit imaginable with and won’t think of you any different on the other side of the conversation. if i didn’t have you to talk to about the shit on my mind i can’t even imagine where i’d be today. so i have everything to thank you for, and thank you for giving me somebody to lean on but not depend on. we live our own lives and respect each other’s individuality and our differences. when it comes down to it nobody is controlling anybody or dictating their decisions for them and that’s also very important. so thank you for being my rock, and i’m glad you know all of this already. sorry for this long ass post, if you made it here you’re a real g and you have now seen the most emotion i have ever put forth to the public. thanks for the read, and if you haven’t already, i pray that someday you find the happiness i’ve found. it’s 5AM and should probably get some sleep lol, gn y’all.