Breakup and Loneliness

So I(M33) was dumped by my ex(F30) around Halloween. At the time I was just not ready to commit and we had been non exclusively dating for about 9 months and she wanted exclusivity. I think about her a lot and wish I had seen things differently then. I have tried reaching out a few times but she doesn’t want to even see me since the break up because she wants to avoid pain. A lot of my friends and family think it’s for the better. I’ve dated a lot women and had committed relationships in the past but I keep having this impending feeling of doom I’ll never find someone. I struggle with depression a lot. I don’t know exactly what I’m asking tbh. When I was a little bit younger I didn’t feel the absolute need to pair up with someone but now with everyone around me moving on and out of the dating scene I just feel alone. I do like dates and hooking up etc but I haven’t had feelings past the physical and base level since I broke up with the last one. I don’t know. I suppose this is more of a rant than a question.

Submitted April 09, 2019 at 05:29AM

So I(M33) was dumped by my ex(F30) around Halloween. At the time I was just not ready to commit and we had been non exclusively dating for about 9 months and she wanted exclusivity. I think about her a lot and wish I had seen things differently then. I have tried reaching out a few times but she doesn’t want to even see me since the break up because she wants to avoid pain. A lot of my friends and family think it’s for the better. I’ve dated a lot women and had committed relationships in the past but I keep having this impending feeling of doom I’ll never find someone. I struggle with depression a lot. I don’t know exactly what I’m asking tbh. When I was a little bit younger I didn’t feel the absolute need to pair up with someone but now with everyone around me moving on and out of the dating scene I just feel alone. I do like dates and hooking up etc but I haven’t had feelings past the physical and base level since I broke up with the last one. I don’t know. I suppose this is more of a rant than a question.