Need some help, what to do next

I have been dating my wife for 12 years, we have been married for 6 years. The first 3.5 years of our marriage were great, I felt in love. We had our first son, and although times were sometimes hard, i felt we were in it together. My wife got pregnant with our second child and a month later, things fell off the tracks.

This girl messaged my wife on facebook saying I dated her in the first couple years I was dating my wife, so like 3 or 4 years before we were married. I was 24 at the time, no excuse but i was young and dumb. My wife already knew that i talked to girls back then, but because this girl said we dated she thought it was more. I tried to explain that yes i talked to her, but we never kisssed and certainly never dated. I took responsibility that I was dumb and I was wrong.

Every sense then things have been different. My wife stopped wearing her wedding ring while she was pregnant with our second child and hasnt put it back on sense. Hes 18 months now. When i ask she claims its bacause it doesnt fit her. She is still carrying,extra weight, so i belive its true. We used to kiss and say i love you a lot, now its few and far between. Also i am the only one who initiates it. I figured she was mad and needed some time, but its been 2.5 years, so I no longer think time is the issue. I am not sure if she got mad and stopped doing these things, and now that's become habit. When i ask her about it, she brushes it off, then says i love u for silly things for a day or two and then back to same. We have never been the overly affectionate type.

Wr have two kids under 4, and they are very tough. I am not sure if the stress of it all is just getting to her. I try to help out as much as I can, but shes a stay at home mom, so there is only so much I can do. We have a very comfortable life style money wise.

We dont fight much, she is stay at home mom, and she always says shes tired from the kids, which i understand cause they are a handful. She just always seems unhappy or grumpy.

I dont know what to do, i feel like we are headed down a bad path that will only end in divorce, either soon or when the kids grow up. I am painting a very bad light, but it doesnt seem bright right now. Could i be blowing this out of proportion? I dont know what to do anymore, i am sliding into depression.

Submitted May 12, 2019 at 01:16PM

I have been dating my wife for 12 years, we have been married for 6 years. The first 3.5 years of our marriage were great, I felt in love. We had our first son, and although times were sometimes hard, i felt we were in it together. My wife got pregnant with our second child and a month later, things fell off the tracks.This girl messaged my wife on facebook saying I dated her in the first couple years I was dating my wife, so like 3 or 4 years before we were married. I was 24 at the time, no excuse but i was young and dumb. My wife already knew that i talked to girls back then, but because this girl said we dated she thought it was more. I tried to explain that yes i talked to her, but we never kisssed and certainly never dated. I took responsibility that I was dumb and I was wrong.Every sense then things have been different. My wife stopped wearing her wedding ring while she was pregnant with our second child and hasnt put it back on sense. Hes 18 months now. When i ask she claims its bacause it doesnt fit her. She is still carrying,extra weight, so i belive its true. We used to kiss and say i love you a lot, now its few and far between. Also i am the only one who initiates it. I figured she was mad and needed some time, but its been 2.5 years, so I no longer think time is the issue. I am not sure if she got mad and stopped doing these things, and now that's become habit. When i ask her about it, she brushes it off, then says i love u for silly things for a day or two and then back to same. We have never been the overly affectionate type.Wr have two kids under 4, and they are very tough. I am not sure if the stress of it all is just getting to her. I try to help out as much as I can, but shes a stay at home mom, so there is only so much I can do. We have a very comfortable life style money wise.We dont fight much, she is stay at home mom, and she always says shes tired from the kids, which i understand cause they are a handful. She just always seems unhappy or grumpy.I dont know what to do, i feel like we are headed down a bad path that will only end in divorce, either soon or when the kids grow up. I am painting a very bad light, but it doesnt seem bright right now. Could i be blowing this out of proportion? I dont know what to do anymore, i am sliding into depression.