Giving her an ultimatum..

My wife (25) and I (27) have been together for 7 years and married for the last 3 years. We have no kids. We have been going through some serious stuff. She found out her dad was not her biological father in November. We had a failed IVF cycle in December. She has been emotionally drained after all this. I found out today that she has been messaging a male coworker and the things that were said are not okay for a married woman to be saying. She claims that nothing else has happened, I do believe that. I work away all week and only see her on weekends or every other weekend. I earn 85% of our income. The ultimatum I gave her was that she can quit her job and travel with me to spend more time together to rebuild this marriage or we can start the divorce process. She says she wants to be married to me and wants our marriage to work. She has admitted she messed up. I feel like it’s harsh but I’m not okay with leaving for a week or two at a time due to the lack of trust between us now. Any thoughts? Should I be giving this ultimatum? I’ve never believed in ultimatums but now that there’s no trust what other options do I have?



Submitted May 13, 2019 at 04:35AM

My wife (25) and I (27) have been together for 7 years and married for the last 3 years. We have no kids. We have been going through some serious stuff. She found out her dad was not her biological father in November. We had a failed IVF cycle in December. She has been emotionally drained after all this. I found out today that she has been messaging a male coworker and the things that were said are not okay for a married woman to be saying. She claims that nothing else has happened, I do believe that. I work away all week and only see her on weekends or every other weekend. I earn 85% of our income. The ultimatum I gave her was that she can quit her job and travel with me to spend more time together to rebuild this marriage or we can start the divorce process. She says she wants to be married to me and wants our marriage to work. She has admitted she messed up. I feel like it’s harsh but I’m not okay with leaving for a week or two at a time due to the lack of trust between us now. Any thoughts? Should I be giving this ultimatum? I’ve never believed in ultimatums but now that there’s no trust what other options do I have?
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