Why do people always say confidence is the most important thing even though it’s not always true?

People always say “be confident” or “love yourself” because no one wants to be with someone who is always complaining about themselves and being negative, and that makes total sense.

But there are plenty of people who have zero confidence and are super insecure, but never project it at all, and so others have no idea. So it’s not like their lack of confidence is what’s preventing them from finding someone, because no one can even tell. There are also people with plenty of confidence and self love, maybe they’re even social with lots of friends, but still no one wants them.

Is there any reason other than rules one and two?

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 03:23AM

People always say “be confident” or “love yourself” because no one wants to be with someone who is always complaining about themselves and being negative, and that makes total sense.But there are plenty of people who have zero confidence and are super insecure, but never project it at all, and so others have no idea. So it’s not like their lack of confidence is what’s preventing them from finding someone, because no one can even tell. There are also people with plenty of confidence and self love, maybe they’re even social with lots of friends, but still no one wants them.Is there any reason other than rules one and two?